I don’t “love” my boyfriend

Don’t get me wrong, I do love him but as a person more than anything
We haven’t been together long but I don’t have that butterfly feeling around him etc.
I feel terrible because he’s honestly an amazing guy and I could see us being together in the future, but if I already feel uncertain about it, should I just end it now as we only just got together. But I feel as though I would live to regret this?

How long?

If you have only just got together then I doubt you would love him, love is an emotion that develops over time

Reply 3

Anonymous #1

Original post by Emerald777O

How long?

Less than a month

Reply 4

Anonymous #1

Original post by Avaia

If you have only just got together then I doubt you would love him, love is an emotion that develops over time

But I don’t even feel as though I like him in that way, will that change over time?

Reply 5

UWS

It takes time for it to develop.

If you have lost attraction to him then it may be grounds to break up, but definitely don't make a rash decision and do it now. Give it a few weeks to a few months.

Reply 6

username3590460

Original post by Anonymous

Less than a month

Did you get butterflies on dates ?

Reply 7

Anonymous #1

Original post by UWS

It takes time for it to develop.

If you have lost attraction to him then it may be grounds to break up, but definitely don't make a rash decision and do it now. Give it a few weeks to a few months.

But I feel guilty leading him on for weeks feeling like this the whole time :frown:

he’s such an amazing person

Reply 8

Avaia

Original post by Anonymous

But I don’t even feel as though I like him in that way, will that change over time?

Do you find him attractive? is he interesting to you? do you share interests? How long have you been together? a week? a month? 6 months?
Love develops over time, if you completely do not like him, aren't attracted etc. then maybe break up, but what made you get with him in the first place?

Reply 9

UWS

Original post by Anonymous

But I feel guilty leading him on for weeks feeling like this the whole time :frown:

he’s such an amazing person

Then you should wait before saying "I love you.". I hope you have not told him this yet.

It will take time for you to get that feeling but some couples don't even feel love straight away.

Reply 10

Anonymous #1

Original post by Emerald777O

Did you get butterflies on dates ?

We only went on one date before we got together (as we see eachother everyday anyway) but yes I did

Reply 11

username1921011

Original post by Anonymous

You need to explain this better, as in do you not feel nervous around him? Because that's good - it means you can be yourself in their company OR do you mean you don't feel in love with him OR do you mean you don't feel (for want of a better term) a bit turned on in his presence?

Have you done anything ahem sexual and/or do you have any interest in doing so? That's the foundation for a lot of people which makes a friendship into a relationship. It might be you are better suited as best friends but if he loves you then you risk pushing him away by essentially rejecting him and ending it.

Why did you say yes in the first place? Especially if you've felt like this the whole time. If you're just holding on because you don't want to lose him then you're being a bit selfish if you have no interest in the relationship itself.

Original post by Anonymous

We only went on one date before we got together (as we see eachother everyday anyway) but yes I did

Why do you see him every day? This is relevant because it might influence how your relationship is, for example working with him every day might lead to this lack of butterflies - it's kind of an over-saturation thing as in seeing someone too much can be detrimental to a relationship. You sort of need days where you don't see them.

Original post by UWS

Then you should wait before saying "I love you.". I hope you have not told him this yet.

It will take time for you to get that feeling but some couples don't even feel love straight away.

This is a weird one. There is no specific time for this and no particular context - for example the way you say it and what it means is quite varied. You love things in different ways and saying it as a relationship commitment is different as saying it to a friend. This can take ages to fully develop or it can be like a week. Its a weirdly powerful phrase in terms of dating - but I agree that if you aren't sure yet then you definitely shouldnt say it.