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My Lecturers are harassing me

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Avaia
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Like many have said, there is no harassment or threatening behaviour, it is a requirement of your university contract to attend lectures and seminars...you cannot complain that people react when you don't do that.
The way to use welfare services and you mental health problems is as a defence to stop them discriminating against you. It sounds like you are on a course where attendance does matter as well as participation in group work. You need to start talking to someone and listen to honest advice because you dont help yourself and you arent in a goo frame of mind t make decisions.
Original post by Kard112233
Have you considered Aspergers as a diagnosis? The NAS support students through uni.


See so my autism is noticeable in this thread?

Yes i'm already autistic however i didn't want to use that dreaded disorder to inflict on this thread. Maybe everyone sees me as autistic? before i was not noticeable and no one if not 100% think i have autism but now of recent months i think they may know i have it but never say it to my face...

**** this
Just remember, they are more scared of you than the other way around.

I had one lecturer who hated it when I booked meetings with him to discuss tutorials i didnt understand.

By the 10th meeting he was far more friendly once he understood I wasnt going to leave or he couldnt blame me.

He tried every trick in the book, oh I have to end your 10 minute session, 5 minutes early because I have a meeting/doctors appointment.

I made him regret the day he decided not to upload solutions
You unfortunately have to attend or yes they will withdraw you. The problem is there being an attendance policy. It's no one's business if you can't attend sometimes. You might be ok if you hand in a doctor's notice excusing your absences because of depression however I know depressed people who are diagnosed and don't like that to be used against them. But still I get sometimes not wanting to go in. Try to get your absences excused and in the meantime I will become a public administrator in the education department and I'll repeal the attendance policy.
(edited 6 years ago)
Original post by hannah00
Just remember, they are more scared of you than the other way around.

I had one lecturer who hated it when I booked meetings with him to discuss tutorials i didnt understand.

By the 10th meeting he was far more friendly once he understood I wasnt going to leave or he couldnt blame me.

He tried every trick in the book, oh I have to end your 10 minute session, 5 minutes early because I have a meeting/doctors appointment.

I made him regret the day he decided not to upload solutions


Hannah 😂 what did you do...

My lecturers hate me too because I don't take their nonsense 😈
Original post by Anonymous
This is a serious issue and i will try and be anonymous as i can if the university clocks who i am.

The title says what it is. Basically i do not attend lectures due to my Social Anxiety and severe depression and the fact i have no friends in these lectures. I believe a student who attends lectures are there to join with their friends/squad.

For the past two years I've struggled attending lectures, last year i never attended one module yet i got an ok grade. This encouraged me to try and do this with all my modules this year, But a few of my modules include compulsory group work and i don't socialise with these people hence these people see me as wack, which is fine, i have given up trying to make friends and i'm likely to be recluse after graduating in 2 years time.

3 weeks into uni and these lecturers have been on my case like never before. One Lecturer after the lecture basically threatened me and said to my face 'you have to attend and not come late otherwise there will be consequences'. Another Lecturer i emailed because i have never attend a module so far replied back to me writing 'I'm afraid, were going to have to withdraw you from the module' like wtf???? :s-smilie:. And to make things worse i get this feeling that my uni wants to get rid of me as fast as they can or make me suspend my studies and do it again next year just because i don't want to ****ing attend a lecture, it's so annoying. I even received a patronising email from the Course Leader tagging 3 of my module leaders on how to ****ing attend a lecture, it's embarrassing.

Truth is i want to drop out but due to African reasons, it's hard so i have to stay and Fight. I don't want to attend these lectures due to not having no friends so what i can do. How can i tell my lecturers to stay the **** back and let me do things my way? i do very well with my assignments and i don't care if i graduate with a third class honours or a 2:2 because i'm gonna be a recluse after uni.


Unis have attendance policies and you cannot continue to study if you don't attend any lectures. It's not your lecturers picking on you, it's them enforcing the rules.
Talk to student support and see what you can sort out.
Unfortunately you will have to attend some lectures and do some group work. It's part of the course and they cannot let you continue if you don't. Student support may be able to help you in some way though so have a chat and see what can be done.
I realise this is stressful for you, but there is only so much they can do to be accommodating.
Original post by Anonymous
This is a serious issue and i will try and be anonymous as i can if the university clocks who i am.

The title says what it is. Basically i do not attend lectures due to my Social Anxiety and severe depression and the fact i have no friends in these lectures. I believe a student who attends lectures are there to join with their friends/squad.

For the past two years I've struggled attending lectures, last year i never attended one module yet i got an ok grade. This encouraged me to try and do this with all my modules this year, But a few of my modules include compulsory group work and i don't socialise with these people hence these people see me as wack, which is fine, i have given up trying to make friends and i'm likely to be recluse after graduating in 2 years time.

3 weeks into uni and these lecturers have been on my case like never before. One Lecturer after the lecture basically threatened me and said to my face 'you have to attend and not come late otherwise there will be consequences'. Another Lecturer i emailed because i have never attend a module so far replied back to me writing 'I'm afraid, were going to have to withdraw you from the module' like wtf???? :s-smilie:. And to make things worse i get this feeling that my uni wants to get rid of me as fast as they can or make me suspend my studies and do it again next year just because i don't want to ****ing attend a lecture, it's so annoying. I even received a patronising email from the Course Leader tagging 3 of my module leaders on how to ****ing attend a lecture, it's embarrassing.

Truth is i want to drop out but due to African reasons, it's hard so i have to stay and Fight. I don't want to attend these lectures due to not having no friends so what i can do. How can i tell my lecturers to stay the **** back and let me do things my way? i do very well with my assignments and i don't care if i graduate with a third class honours or a 2:2 because i'm gonna be a recluse after uni.


I'm sorry for your situation, and you probably don't what to hear this, but you need to get a grip. I know that depression and social anxiety are huge burdens to carry, and can affect your life ans socialisation greatly. But skipping all those lectures was crazy, and you are lucky they didn't make a big deal about it then...
However now they are finally catching up with you, and you need to overcome this stress and go to your lectures.

In secondary school I was just 11-13 years old, and I was severely bullied, it was crazy! And looking back I was so strong, and I went to school as much as I could (85% attendance). I had no friends for a long time and I was very lonely and done with everything, and yet I valued my education and I still went in and faced the day. I could have allowed those experiences to control me, but I moved school and I had an amazing experience thereafter.

I am not trying to reduce your experience or feelings, but it is important for you to understand that you are firstly destroying your education, and you are allowing your depression and social anxiety to control your life. Everyone has free will and a choice, and although it may be harder for you than others, you can still do it if you want to.
I am afraid that they will probably kick you out of uni if you don't start going in. Maybe aim for 50% attendance initially, but avoiding it completely is the worst thing you could do.
ps - dropping out would be a waste of your time and money (student loan) I think you should power though it.

Talk to your parents about it and seek support. Go to the Dr or support groups for help.
Also if you are religious - PRAY!! God is there to help.
Good Luck x
all the counsellors in the uni are ****ing useless.
The issue here is not the lecturers, but your mental health. You aren't getting the right help and support to manage it and now it has become so bad that it is negatively impacting your life and your studies. I would recommend taking a year out and focus on improving your mental health by getting some treatment.
Uni requires you to go to lectures; it's pretty common knowledge, so I'm not sure why you thought you would be able to avoid them altogether or ask an adviser if that's possible.
Or, you could continue your studies with the Open University? They do credit transfers so you would basically pick up from where you left off and there's no lectures, only voluntary tutorials. Actually though, there are a couple "compulsory" tutorials that we may go to from time to time, but they're not as regular as traditional university lectures. That points out the fact that every university requires some level of face to face contact. So you will have to start managing your mental health better for anything else in your life to improve.

Original post by Anonymous
This is a serious issue and i will try and be anonymous as i can if the university clocks who i am.

The title says what it is. Basically i do not attend lectures due to my Social Anxiety and severe depression and the fact i have no friends in these lectures. I believe a student who attends lectures are there to join with their friends/squad.

For the past two years I've struggled attending lectures, last year i never attended one module yet i got an ok grade. This encouraged me to try and do this with all my modules this year, But a few of my modules include compulsory group work and i don't socialise with these people hence these people see me as wack, which is fine, i have given up trying to make friends and i'm likely to be recluse after graduating in 2 years time.

3 weeks into uni and these lecturers have been on my case like never before. One Lecturer after the lecture basically threatened me and said to my face 'you have to attend and not come late otherwise there will be consequences'. Another Lecturer i emailed because i have never attend a module so far replied back to me writing 'I'm afraid, were going to have to withdraw you from the module' like wtf???? :s-smilie:. And to make things worse i get this feeling that my uni wants to get rid of me as fast as they can or make me suspend my studies and do it again next year just because i don't want to ****ing attend a lecture, it's so annoying. I even received a patronising email from the Course Leader tagging 3 of my module leaders on how to ****ing attend a lecture, it's embarrassing.

Truth is i want to drop out but due to African reasons, it's hard so i have to stay and Fight. I don't want to attend these lectures due to not having no friends so what i can do. How can i tell my lecturers to stay the **** back and let me do things my way? i do very well with my assignments and i don't care if i graduate with a third class honours or a 2:2 because i'm gonna be a recluse after uni.
Uni is not a social club or a frat house. I attended several classes (both during my undergrad work, and grad school, where i didn't know anyone in the class. No big deal, i was there to improve my saleability in the job market. In grad school, i found it advantageous to form a study group, because i was not yet a 'real' student. I didn't know how to do it yet. I later found out. I hung around after class, talked to some of the other students, and two other guys and i formed a study group to go over course material. This was in grad school, so we all had day jobs, and were going to class at night. We would get together nearly every week - particularly before the midterm and final exams. I developed the skill of predicting exam questions, which had escaped me at school and during my undergraduate career. In grad school i was hitting at least 70% of the exam questions on my 'sample' exams. That helped a lot!! Best of luck!!
Original post by hannxm
The issue here is not the lecturers, but your mental health. You aren't getting the right help and support to manage it and now it has become so bad that it is negatively impacting your life and your studies. I would recommend taking a year out and focus on improving your mental health by getting some treatment.
Uni requires you to go to lectures; it's pretty common knowledge, so I'm not sure why you thought you would be able to avoid them altogether or ask an adviser if that's possible.
Or, you could continue your studies with the Open University? They do credit transfers so you would basically pick up from where you left off and there's no lectures, only voluntary tutorials. Actually though, there are a couple "compulsory" tutorials that we may go to from time to time, but they're not as regular as traditional university lectures. That points out the fact that every university requires some level of face to face contact. So you will have to start managing your mental health better for anything else in your life to improve.


Which support do you suggest, i've tried cbt, antidepressants, counselling you name it.

I do a joint honours degree, i cant see the open university would accept this.. I'm not being rude, you are actually the one who has struck a chord on me in this thread. You are right, I'm not getting the right help because this mental health problem is a secret from others because i'm not open.

I have never failed an assignment, can't they get that i don't need to do group works or attend a lecture? and i don't attend a group work, i prefer to do a solo resit and i feel so at ease doing that. They are making it out this year that if i don't attend, i get kicked out. It's such a shame and i'm dreading a 9am lecture tomorrow and i'm fighting in my mind 'What should i do', 'what excuse must i say so'. It's painful arghh
I think if you really enjoyed your subject you'd go to the lectures.

For me, I've had some really rude lecturers but its never put me off in general because I love what Im studying, if that doesn't drive you to attend uni and put yourself through the grueling group work then Idk if its worth it.

I also don't think friends are that big of a deal, a lot of people drop out and switch around, having no friends shouldnt stop you from just getting on with things, if it does than thats something deeper and you should speak to someone about it.

I have a lot of respect for people who sit alone at lectures, they're here because the theyre passionate about the subject. I have one or two good friends but even then we dont meet outside of uni. Just get to know lots of people rather than investing in them. Friends are overrated and let you down anyway.
Original post by Anonymous
Which support do you suggest, i've tried cbt, antidepressants, counselling you name it.

I do a joint honours degree, i cant see the open university would accept this.. I'm not being rude, you are actually the one who has struck a chord on me in this thread. You are right, I'm not getting the right help because this mental health problem is a secret from others because i'm not open.

I have never failed an assignment, can't they get that i don't need to do group works or attend a lecture? and i don't attend a group work, i prefer to do a solo resit and i feel so at ease doing that. They are making it out this year that if i don't attend, i get kicked out. It's such a shame and i'm dreading a 9am lecture tomorrow and i'm fighting in my mind 'What should i do', 'what excuse must i say so'. It's painful arghh


If you're not getting any of that support currently then you need to try it again or do all of them together, so please see a doctor at some point. There's a website called 7 Cups Of Tea that lets you speak to someone for free and they have therapists too that you can pay for.

It seems you're sweeping the main issue under the rug and have given up but that's incredibly dangerous. It's already pulling you into a downward spiral that will only get worse and worsen your mental health. So that is the prime issue that you need to resolve or work on at least, first.

Have you asked if those lectures are compulsory to the course? It may be that they are and will affect your grade. Your only other option is to contact the nicer of the lecturers or maybe someone above them and explain to them why you cannot attend your lectures and be totally honest and point out that you have not struggled with your grades. They may work something out for you.

The more you avoid something due to anxiety, the more you reinforce it and tell your brain that there is something to be scared of, when there isn't. Tackling a fear face on and repeatedly is the best way to overcome something that causes you anxiety. You're currently letting it win and you're stronger than that!
(edited 6 years ago)
Original post by Salt Queen
Hannah 😂 what did you do...

My lecturers hate me too because I don't take their nonsense 😈


Its really annoying though. The majority of lecturers dont upload solutions to tutorials.

Half of the lecturers just use the same exam questions in every paper, which would be fine, except you dont know which half. So you can be getting 65% in all your past paper attempts, but come the actual exam, its about some something else from week 5.

When I started the course it was you pick 3 questions of 5, now its 3 out of 4 and they have removed the "define key terms" sections of question which were normally worth about 10%.


so frustrated
Original post by Maker
I support your lecturers. Uni is for learning, if you want to make friends, join a club.


Learning does not require wasting hours of your life listening to crusty old professors drone on about their respective research interests. I was one of those students who never learned anything from listening to someone mutter from the front of the room - everything I learned was through self-directed study, which is a far more valuable skill to have.
Original post by mrsoliviacross
From how your describing things your university doesn't seem that good ? Is it bad to predict it might be low in the ranks? There has to be a help line from your university to guide you for this, if not then try samaritans. I don't want to keep signposting you places because I know it sucks, just keep going - you made it through first year and that is a massive thing in itself. People just do first year then leave. Mental health is still an on-going thing and no one has still cracked the code to making others feel better, I know that more than anyone.. Lectures actually aren't about socialising but I know everyone has their groups and stuff. I think sitting in lectures is quite normal if you are alone, especially if you are late and no one would judge you as a result. Lectures seem quite dull and boring anyway, I learn more from reading and using the powerpoints they upload..


The ranking of the OP's university is irrelevant. The university I attend is not a top ranking university. However, the pastoral care is second to none. I have grandchildren who have attended high ranking universities where the pastoral care is abysmal.
Original post by hannah00
Its really annoying though. The majority of lecturers dont upload solutions to tutorials.

Half of the lecturers just use the same exam questions in every paper, which would be fine, except you dont know which half. So you can be getting 65% in all your past paper attempts, but come the actual exam, its about some something else from week 5.

When I started the course it was you pick 3 questions of 5, now its 3 out of 4 and they have removed the "define key terms" sections of question which were normally worth about 10%.


so frustrated


If you keep track of the time spent on each subject in lecture, and how much workk the lecturer does, you can assess how important they feel each subject is. As an example, if they just talk about something, that's easy, so i'd assess the 'work factor' as a 1 to a 3. Drawing something on the board is more work, so a 2 to a 5 (depending upon complexity). So say they spend 12 minutes on a subject. they talk about it for 3 minutes, then draw on the board for the remaining 9 minutes. Say the drawing is fairly complex - and uses coloured chalk. I'd take 3 x 2 for the talk, and 9 x 4 for the chalk drawing. Adding the two together gives you a total of 42 for that subject on that occasion. Most subjects are mentioned 4 or 5 times during the lectures preceding a test. Add up all the totals for each subject - that gives you the overall importance of that subject to the instructor. Then rank all the subjects in decreasing order. You can only be asked so many questions on a test. Generally, a test takes an hour. Depending upon whether they are multiple choice [a thru f], or calculation type questions [find the roots of an equation, calculate a link budget for a satellite communications link], the number of individual questions you could answer in that hour range from 25 or so to 4 or 5. Allow a few extra, and make up questions that are typical - considering your homework, and example problems done in class. So if you figure you could be given 5 questions, take the top 8 or 9, and learn everything about them - so you can do them blindfolded. I did this for the last 3 yrs of graduate school, and i'm convinced that that is the reason i managed to 'swindle' them out of a Master's degree. Many times i hit the actual exam questions 100% [I had every actual test question on my 'sample' exam - plus a few extras. The result was, though, i actually studied what i was going to be asked - not a lot of other stuff that was of no interest, as the test questions didn't relate to what i'd studied. Good Luck!!
Sorry to bump this thread.

Just an update: I have had it, i'm leaving uni at the end of the year. Thanks for all the advice from here.

One of my lecturer made me cry because she wanted to kick me out two of her modules. Me, a grown man, started crying in front of a lecturer. All because my social anxiety affects me and i have no friends. After that weird incident i've decided to attend every lecture now :frown: (I was told there was heavy discussions from a panel that i should go) and sit friendless. she did accept that the university mental health services team are useless, that i only respect her for saying that.

Now my answer is, who has had experience with Open University?
Original post by Anonymous


Now my answer is, who has had experience with Open University?


That's harder in the sense that you have to motivate yourself. Yes, you do get tutorials; but they're only once a month or something and no-one will check if you don't turn up.

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