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Struggling To Get By At University

I consider myself a nice person, but seemingly I get it thrown back in my face every time.
For example, I help people out with their coursework but whenever I ask for something small, I never receive anything in return.
I know it was foolish, but I even used to let girls copy my work in the hope that they would invite me when they all went out.
But no such luck.
I did the traditional student thing by going out out and joining societies, however it never really worked (and my Uni are a bit hopeless with that sort of thing anyway.)

Also, I am nearly 21 and can't get a boyfriend.
The only relationship I was in lasted around two months, but my "boyfriend" said he was quite busy at work.
Then one evening, he just stopped replying to my texts and I haven't heard from him since (that was a year ago.)
Will I ever get a boyfriend, was I destined to be alone? Or am I just too ugly?
People say they are surprised I am still single, as I am apparently "pretty" and put others before myself.
Nevertheless I'm not sure that's true and boys at school/college/uni have never really respected me.

Last issue is my accommodation.
As I didn't make any friends by the time halls was over, I had nobody to live with.
So I moved in with this live in landlady, who seemed okay at first.
However, she treats me like a live-in slave: making me do her washing up, hang her clothes out, do her cleaning, feed her cats, etc.
She doesn't even like me doing laundry or cooking, incase I make a mess or it costs her anything, although it's not like I am living in her home rent-free?
Even though I do all these things for her (not voluntarily) she doesn't respect my privacy and talks to me like a piece of ****.
She literally blames me for EVERYTHING when it's not always my fault.
My parents live 3-4 hours away via train, so it's not like I can live with them.

Can anyone offer me some friendly advice?
I just feel so down right now because I don't have any friends, a boyfriend, or nice housemates.
Yet I feel this is what makes University life what it is (if that makes sense) and how come everyone else has these things, when I don't?
Where did I go wrong?
Original post by jegrah
I consider myself a nice person, but seemingly I get it thrown back in my face every time.
For example, I help people out with their coursework but whenever I ask for something small, I never receive anything in return.
I know it was foolish, but I even used to let girls copy my work in the hope that they would invite me when they all went out.
But no such luck.
I did the traditional student thing by going out out and joining societies, however it never really worked (and my Uni are a bit hopeless with that sort of thing anyway.)

Also, I am nearly 21 and can't get a boyfriend.
The only relationship I was in lasted around two months, but my "boyfriend" said he was quite busy at work.
Then one evening, he just stopped replying to my texts and I haven't heard from him since (that was a year ago.)
Will I ever get a boyfriend, was I destined to be alone? Or am I just too ugly?
People say they are surprised I am still single, as I am apparently "pretty" and put others before myself.
Nevertheless I'm not sure that's true and boys at school/college/uni have never really respected me.

Last issue is my accommodation.
As I didn't make any friends by the time halls was over, I had nobody to live with.
So I moved in with this live in landlady, who seemed okay at first.
However, she treats me like a live-in slave: making me do her washing up, hang her clothes out, do her cleaning, feed her cats, etc.
She doesn't even like me doing laundry or cooking, incase I make a mess or it costs her anything, although it's not like I am living in her home rent-free?
Even though I do all these things for her (not voluntarily) she doesn't respect my privacy and talks to me like a piece of ****.
She literally blames me for EVERYTHING when it's not always my fault.
My parents live 3-4 hours away via train, so it's not like I can live with them.

Can anyone offer me some friendly advice?
I just feel so down right now because I don't have any friends, a boyfriend, or nice housemates.
Yet I feel this is what makes University life what it is (if that makes sense) and how come everyone else has these things, when I don't?
Where did I go wrong?

do you have a job? majority of my friends are the guys from work
**** living situation but I guess you just gotta take it on the chin since its her house...I suppose, (feeding the cats is pushing her luck)
its never too late to make new friends :biggrin: although its now 10x harder
Reply 2
Avatar for jegrah
jegrah
OP
8
Thanks. :smile:
Yes I do have a part time job, but it's mostly girls I work with.
There's two guys, one is homosexual and the other one's got a girlfriend so I don't have any luck trying to date someone on the work front.
That landlady sounds like a proper *****. Can't you move somewhere else? There must be plenty of rent space in your uni town.

As for your relationships, you have plenty of time for that as you're very young. No everybody finds a partner when they're 18-21. Don't let something like that define your worth, there's much more to you.

Re those girls you helped, next time you help someone and they don't appreciate it, you need to let it go. People, especially at that age, can be immature and very selfish. And you can invite yourself to trips and the like, you don't need a bunch of homework scavengers to invite you.

I still think it;s a good idea to visit societies at your uni, even if you don't come across people you bond with - it's nice to just get out and about for your own mental well being. If not that you could still join a club/society in your local town, you don't always have to make friends with uni students.

Good luck with your studies too. It's sounds like you've had a tough time, but you're doing well! Also, that dude who ignored you after two months is just an a-hole, simple as.
(edited 6 years ago)
Reply 4
Avatar for jegrah
jegrah
OP
8
Thanks for your response. :smile:
Unfortunately, my small Uni town isn't geared up towards students, I have looked elsewhere and rent is so expensive.
However, I will keep looking.

Yeah, that's true (about making friends.)
I just thought when uni started people would be more mature, but you're right...People wise, it's a bit like college I suppose?

But I will try all the things you guys suggested, thanks.

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