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Does anyone wanna listen to my problems and give me some advice? xo

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Original post by esmeralda17
I can't imagine how hard life must be with aspergers, it sounds really difficult. I'm introverted so i face a tiny fraction of what you do like connecting with people and needing my own space, but you sound so strong so hang in there ! Xx

University is hard, i feel like I'm constantly putting on a show of being happy. I've been too down to actively make many friends and go to loads of events. just cant bring myself to do it. i reckon my flatmates think I'm really snobby or unfriendly but the truth is I'm way too depressed to keep up the happy pretence so i avoid them.

Its like one good thing will keep me swimming, but the tiniest set back , ike not making the volleyball team or getting ignored by flatmates or whateer- totally sets me back big time and makes me feel worthless.
On the plus side, my course is super interesting. but i have 2 essays due by monday, shoot me now


Good luck with your essays I need to do biology and chemistry homework absolutely dreading it.It is good you are enjoying your degree I don't enjoy a levels that much.
Original post by Anonymous
Good luck with your essays I need to do biology and chemistry homework absolutely dreading it.It is good you are enjoying your degree I don't enjoy a levels that much.


aha i took bio and chem for A Levels, a pain in the ass but at the same time, makes you feel super intelligent :u:

good luck toooo
You are a beautiful person. You are strong, and can get through anything.
In the grand scheme of things, what your nose looks like doesn't matter one single bit.
It isn't about what you look like, but it is who you are. You are an amazing, strong person. A million times better than the men who messed you around.
Don't let how you perceive yourself define who you are. To you, your nose may look really bad, but in the real world no one will even notice or care what your nose looks like, they will notice and care about who you are as a person.
I know how you feel about a little thing seems like a big setback, and a good thing keeps you going. That is pretty much my life right now, except I'm 13 with nothing to feel bad about. I have what a lot of people was only dream of (I'm not rich but I have a family, a house, and enough money to not be struggling. Far from rich, but we have enough to get by etc without struggling). So just ignore me and focus on turning your life around. Forget all those people who messed you around. You are better than them.
(edited 6 years ago)
Original post by Ganjaweed Rebel
What were the guys like and how much did you charge per night?


Why should that matter? Let her keep her privacy.
Original post by Ganjaweed Rebel
What were the guys like and how much did you charge per night?


It's not really in my benefit to tell you that, but i understand the curiosity so if you PM me I'll tell you.
Original post by Bill Nye
You are a beautiful person. You are strong, and can get through anything.
In the grand scheme of things, what your nose looks like doesn't matter one single bit.
It isn't about what you look like, but it is who you are. You are an amazing, strong person. A million times better than the men who messed you around.
Don't let how you perceive yourself define who you are. To you, your nose may look really bad, but in the real world no one will even notice or care what your nose looks like, they will notice and care about who you are as a person.
I know how you feel about a little thing seems like a big setback, and a good thing keeps you going. That is pretty much my life right now, except I'm 13 with nothing to feel bad about. I have what a lot of people was only dream of (I'm not rich but I have a family, a house, and enough money to not be struggling. Far from rich, but we have enough to get by etc without struggling). So just ignore me and focus on turning your life around. Forget all those people who messed you around. You are better than them.




What an eloquent post by a 13 year old, wow. i was expecting older until you said that. I bet you're very smart.

Its true that personality runs so much deeper, but i don't feel like i can give up on it now, its a change I've wanted for so long. I feel like my nose rules me because it decides if I'm confident or not.
I'll do my best to focus on the positives though and forget the guys who messed me around
hugs
x
Read most of it and.....ughh...I'm sooo sorry. Your life has been screwed over by your sorry excuse of a father from early on, so clearly tells me it ain't your fault. WTF has your older brother been doing? If that shiz happened with my lil sis (which I have), that p!ss head would be in the grave by now (or at least in jail). Just remember it ain't your fault. You have done AMAZINGLY well for someone that was ****ed over by life. Just keep on surviving, as long as you do that, YOU ARE WORTH IT. Good things will always await for those who persevere...so just hang on a little more.
Don't worry about the past. I know, easier said than done but you need to move on and if anyone treats you like shite, well, they are idiots themselves because everyone is special in their own way. No matter what anyone says about you, ignore them. I bet you are a beautiful young women who deserves the best in life. The fact that you have come to realise all this shows that you are quite a strong person and just need someone to share it with. Good luck in the future :wink:
Original post by JDieMstr
Read most of it and.....ughh...I'm sooo sorry. Your life has been screwed over by your sorry excuse of a father from early on, so clearly tells me it ain't your fault. WTF has your older brother been doing? If that shiz happened with my lil sis (which I have), that p!ss head would be in the grave by now (or at least in jail). Just remember it ain't your fault. You have done AMAZINGLY well for someone that was ****ed over by life. Just keep on surviving, as long as you do that, YOU ARE WORTH IT. Good things will always await for those who persevere...so just hang on a little more.


I never liked to feel sorry for myself and play the victim , but maybe I've just been deluding myself because here i am 6 years later and i still think about it and feel affected by it. even as i type it i feel like I'm attention seeking, but i realise now i may have been wrong to silence myself.

My older brother doesnt know about what my dad did and i'd never tell him honestly, for his own sake. he's a great role model in every way.

i'm sorry that something similar has happened with you little sister , but I'm glad she has you, it sounds like you're very protective of her!!

This is definitely the most challenging time in my life so far and if Ii can pull through stronger it'll be some miracle. its moments like these, like your comment that gives me the power not to give up.

thank you b x
Original post by y.u.mad.bro?
Don't worry about the past. I know, easier said than done but you need to move on and if anyone treats you like shite, well, they are idiots themselves because everyone is special in their own way. No matter what anyone says about you, ignore them. I bet you are a beautiful young women who deserves the best in life. The fact that you have come to realise all this shows that you are quite a strong person and just need someone to share it with. Good luck in the future :wink:


The past can haunt but it does get easier with time. I just feel like I've morphed into a different person because of all my experiences. ill try ignore the haters , its hard because i need people to like me. but ill try not let it bother me
Original post by esmeralda17
The past can haunt but it does get easier with time. I just feel like I've morphed into a different person because of all my experiences. ill try ignore the haters , its hard because i need people to like me. but ill try not let it bother me


You will find people will come towards you soon. It usually takes some time if you are new somewhere. Just try to socialise with people at clubs etc and you will make lots of new friends :wink:
Original post by y.u.mad.bro?
You will find people will come towards you soon. It usually takes some time if you are new somewhere. Just try to socialise with people at clubs etc and you will make lots of new friends :wink:



ya just takes so much effort lol, but its always worth making new friends :h: thanks
Well i didn't read it all cos damn but it makes me glad to see that other people put effort into replying where i didn't. 😂
(edited 6 years ago)
Original post by Hannime
Well i didn't read it all cos damn but it makes me glad to see that other people put effort into replying where i didn't. 😂




Yeah its so goddamn long, i want to take this moment to thank everyone that did reply hahaha. seriously, i appreciate it. It's like reading an essay. without getting paid for it. :colondollar:
Have you tried counselling or therapy to discuss these issues, I was abused by my two male relatives when I was barely out of my teens and I think talk therapy helped me to deal with this and a bunch of other problems I had.

Basically, the therapists I had firstly condemned the monstrous acts of my male relatives and also got in touch with the police on my behalf. Now, I'm not saying you have to go to police but if you do, its quite helpful to talk to someone supportive first.

Also, PM me whenever you like, yes I'm religious as you can see from my picture, but I'm not judgmental at all. I like to connect to people as humans firstly xxx
Original post by Anonymous
how much do you charge?

sorry, I mean aww thats sad.



more than you can afford.

Spoiler

(edited 6 years ago)
ok so there's a lot there to process but i'll try and help somehow if i can. i'm going to try and cover everything and give advice on what i can, the main point is that you aren't alone, there are nice people who can help and im always up for a friendly chat. anyway on topic. so obviously you've been through so much and it really sucks, i know too many people who seem to go through s**t these days and frankly wish there was an easy solution and that some people would just stop being horrible jerks and grow up. your parents weren't the best of help when you needed them and although your mother tried in her own way she didn't help much either although i'm sure your mother cared and if your father remembers he probably regrets it or certainly should. either way you got unlucky with the situation growing up but it doesn't have to permanently effect you and whilst obviously it'll be hard i'm sure in time it'll fade. in the area of guys and the fact that so far again you've had crap luck, i strongly believe everyone has someone out there they'll find that cares about them as much as they do and that whilst now it seems like your attracting the wrong crowd i'd suggest just being open and trying to meet new people although obviously easier said then done as i know all to well but sometimes it's just about expanding the groups of people and types of people if that makes sense. as for getting anxious in crowds sometimes i think most do and it's perfectly normal, for you it's because your self conscious about your body and others have other reasons, i'd say it's usually mainly because your exposed in the situation and don't have a lot of control and the best way to deal with that is trying to find something to either distract you or perhaps someone to talk to so your not as concerned with what others think. and leading onto the next topic your feelings about yourself, so your very worried about your appearance to others and this is fair enough you've been through a lot and haven't been treated as you should have, on top of this with the religious side your mother has made you feel self conscious because of how your not acting as the religion says and you feel anxious about the way you look because of how you think you should look, i believe everyone looks the way they do because that is what the person perfect for them finds attractive and as for religion i've never been a huge fan and don't believe you would be judged for doing what you could in a pressured situation where you were anxious about yourself and needed money. your not an imposter you are you everything you've done you've done because you were scared and worried, and living in the past is no way to live. just want to say quickly i really hope some of this helps and just remember your never alone in that there will always be someone who can help you out when your worried. the world seems bad sometimes but there are good people in it, i'm sorry you've had to endure what you did and i'm sure things will get better for you.
Original post by Anonymous
ok so there's a lot there to process but i'll try and help somehow if i can. i'm going to try and cover everything and give advice on what i can, the main point is that you aren't alone, there are nice people who can help and im always up for a friendly chat. anyway on topic. so obviously you've been through so much and it really sucks, i know too many people who seem to go through s**t these days and frankly wish there was an easy solution and that some people would just stop being horrible jerks and grow up. your parents weren't the best of help when you needed them and although your mother tried in her own way she didn't help much either although i'm sure your mother cared and if your father remembers he probably regrets it or certainly should. either way you got unlucky with the situation growing up but it doesn't have to permanently effect you and whilst obviously it'll be hard i'm sure in time it'll fade. in the area of guys and the fact that so far again you've had crap luck, i strongly believe everyone has someone out there they'll find that cares about them as much as they do and that whilst now it seems like your attracting the wrong crowd i'd suggest just being open and trying to meet new people although obviously easier said then done as i know all to well but sometimes it's just about expanding the groups of people and types of people if that makes sense. as for getting anxious in crowds sometimes i think most do and it's perfectly normal, for you it's because your self conscious about your body and others have other reasons, i'd say it's usually mainly because your exposed in the situation and don't have a lot of control and the best way to deal with that is trying to find something to either distract you or perhaps someone to talk to so your not as concerned with what others think. and leading onto the next topic your feelings about yourself, so your very worried about your appearance to others and this is fair enough you've been through a lot and haven't been treated as you should have, on top of this with the religious side your mother has made you feel self conscious because of how your not acting as the religion says and you feel anxious about the way you look because of how you think you should look, i believe everyone looks the way they do because that is what the person perfect for them finds attractive and as for religion i've never been a huge fan and don't believe you would be judged for doing what you could in a pressured situation where you were anxious about yourself and needed money. your not an imposter you are you everything you've done you've done because you were scared and worried, and living in the past is no way to live. just want to say quickly i really hope some of this helps and just remember your never alone in that there will always be someone who can help you out when your worried. the world seems bad sometimes but there are good people in it, i'm sorry you've had to endure what you did and i'm sure things will get better for you.


I tried to like this but can't , have you replied on this thread before as anon? :smile:

Anyway, thank you for reading the entire passage; i don't feel like the thing with my dad affects me day to day thankfully as i don't live at home anymore, ( i escaped to uni), but of course it's ruined that relationship, I feel uncomfortable when i visit home, and I'l never get another chance at having a (different) father . But no its not as bad as it could be...

as for the crowds and anxiety, talking to people definitely helps as i feel more accepted and relaxed and less judged. But having more control, i don't know how i would go about doing that :s-smilie: but it sounds like it may help, because the issue is that I feel exposed.

'living in the past is no way to live.' -Tthis is very true and its how I've been living the past 9 months. I hope i can put it behind me and recover. I never knew how much mental health can dibliate you , like a physical injury can, until i experienced it. I'll never ugain underestimate the trauma people say they're going through with anxiety / depression

Yeah too many people do get treated badly and go through **** without deserving it..
but yea there are very good people in this world too. I've been protecting myself by blocking everyone out but i think i can start to open up a little now.

xx
Forget the mental problems, I suspect they're a symptom of something you can remedy and should go away when you see to those things. Let's take a look here...

1) You can lighten your skin with many different ingredients. Harder to do than tanning yourself, but possible. I am very white so always gloss over those discussions, but it can be done.

I don't know if I'd recommend it. A dark skinned person whitening their skin might just end up looking like an unhealthy ethnic person rather than a white person. Don't Michael Jackson yourself. You'd probably be better off working on the quality of your skin rather than the color, for which there are many effective treatments performed at cosmetic clinics. Avoid lasers for this as they are too risky.

2) Just to make you aware. There are more permanent solutions for eye lightening. These may be dangerous, but thought you might want to know just because:

a. Stroma Laser (not yet released).

b. Honey eye drops such as those produced by Lighteyez.

I believe the honey drops will take you to hazel, whereas the Stroma laser takes you to blue. You can get permanent contact implants, do not be tempted to get those done.

3) Perfect teeth can be achieved quickly and effectively with Invisalign. Body can be worked on at the gym, focus on your lower body as a woman.

4) If people think you're too Islamic, it's likely a lot to do with your style, not just your appearance. Try to adopt a more Western style if that bothers you. There are many arabic looking celeb women who don't have "extremist" vibes (as you put it). Try to gain inspiration from them.

5) It's actually insecurity which cause your mood swings based on how people react to you. I suffer with this also. Right now your experiences are probably around 50/50 good and bad so you can't determine where you stand.

6) To be perfectly honest, ignore religion completely. There's absolutely zero proof for any of it (maybe ******** anecdotes like "I know it's real, God spoke to me when I prayed and said so!"), and if some manmade religion IS true, there are about 1000 that say you're going to hell anyway for believing in false idols. There's no greater tragedy than living a ****, muted life just on the unfounded belief that there's a better one coming after, then die and there's NO life after death and you essentially just threw away your one and only chance at enjoying existence.

You're already ****ed with your religion anyway, since you've sinned quite badly, and also since the religion states that you are worthless due to being female. You can't win.

7) Maybe your anxiety relates to your self consciousness of your physical appearance. If you can make yourself happier with your appearance through whatever means necessary, then this may reduce dramatically.
(edited 6 years ago)
Original post by Anonymous
Why should that matter? Let her keep her privacy.


She's not gonna give you a free session no matter how hard you try this.

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