Apparently for strength you wanna do 5 reps with high weights. 5 sets of 5 is a popular training style. I've never trained for strength but that's common for powerlifting.
You won't die benching with the bar, you have to bring the bar down over your chest not your neck. If you fail a rep all you have to do is roll the bar down your body. I don't bench though I also use dumbbells because they're better, you get a way better contraction and you can bring them out wide and sort of hyperextended at the bottom like a semi-fly and you get an ENORMOUS stretch that you absolutely can't get with the bar. You might also get better activation angling the dumbbells very slightly rather than horizontal. Like holding them at 25 degrees or so.
I personally gained strength fine doing standard 3 x 8 sets. When I could do more than that I upped the weight. But whatever you decide on, make sure you do the compounds:
Shoulder press, bar or dumbbells. I have got really good burn from overhead press with the bar standing, but for some reason NEVER get that anymore so do seated now.
Bench with bar or dumbbells.
Squats.
Deadlifts.
Deadlifts are definitely fantastic for your overall strength and you might see posture gains. If you care about your physique though, wear a belt when you start doing a decent amount of weight to keep your waist small. Also wear a belt if you squat a decent amount of weight.
I don't like seated row. Try face pulls (one of the most important exercises you can do btw, ALWAYS include them in your routine - zero point having nice muscles if you walk hunched over) and standard bent-over rows. There are several variations of bent-over rows depending on how close you keep your elbows to your body, and they target different areas of the back. They are extremely effective and activate the muscle hard. Pull-ups and pulldowns you won't feel it as much as rows.
Also try forced reps. When you're failing, say on dumbbell curls or whatever, cheat it up and then try to let it down as slowly as possible. Without a spot this is very helpful. If you are doing some one handed exercises you can use your free hand to physically move the weight to the top of the motion and then let go and let it down as slow as you physically can.