The Student Room Group

Have a crush on my friends girlfriend

I am in my second year of uniand live with a freidns and some of his friends. One of his friends hs been seeing this girl for a few weeks. It isn't a relationship and he was clear he only wanted fwb but she wanted more but she agreed to fwb. I hadn't really met her until Friday night when I went out with my housemates, the irl and some of all their friends. For a lot of the night I was with this girl and not my friends so I spent most of the night out with her so we talked a lot and got om really well. We were laughing and joking around and just having fun then my housemates came back so she went with my housemate and they went home together.

When me and the other housemates got back to the house we all sat downstairs, the girl included, and she seemed to be talking to me even more than she was my housemate and kept agreeing with me and laughing at what I said etc.

Anyway I have realised over the weekend that I do quite like her but I don't know what to do. Technically she is seeing my housemate but he did make it clear that he didn't want a relationship they aren't technically together. Does anyone have any advice on what I could do?
Reply 1
Original post by michael1010
I am in my second year of uniand live with a freidns and some of his friends. One of his friends hs been seeing this girl for a few weeks. It isn't a relationship and he was clear he only wanted fwb but she wanted more but she agreed to fwb. I hadn't really met her until Friday night when I went out with my housemates, the irl and some of all their friends. For a lot of the night I was with this girl and not my friends so I spent most of the night out with her so we talked a lot and got om really well. We were laughing and joking around and just having fun then my housemates came back so she went with my housemate and they went home together.

When me and the other housemates got back to the house we all sat downstairs, the girl included, and she seemed to be talking to me even more than she was my housemate and kept agreeing with me and laughing at what I said etc.

Anyway I have realised over the weekend that I do quite like her but I don't know what to do. Technically she is seeing my housemate but he did make it clear that he didn't want a relationship they aren't technically together. Does anyone have any advice on what I could do?


Keep it to yourself.

Don't tell her and don't tell him. Be neutral for a while. If you feel you can't handle that, then back off completely. You're in an extremely vulnerable position in where you can ruin your reputation, friendship, and so much more.
Reply 2
Original post by UWS
Keep it to yourself.

Don't tell her and don't tell him. Be neutral for a while. If you feel you can't handle that, then back off completely. You're in an extremely vulnerable position in where you can ruin your reputation, friendship, and so much more.


Backing off completely isn't really an option since I live with the guy so I will be seeing the girl a lot and will see her on nights out etc. And also I don't really think I can ruin my reputation etc since he has explicitly said that they are not in a relationship and are only fwb. I also think if he had the chance he would probably get with other girls so I am not sure I see an issue I am just unsure of what to do.
Reply 3
Original post by michael1010
Backing off completely isn't really an option since I live with the guy so I will be seeing the girl a lot and will see her on nights out etc. And also I don't really think I can ruin my reputation etc since he has explicitly said that they are not in a relationship and are only fwb. I also think if he had the chance he would probably get with other girls so I am not sure I see an issue I am just unsure of what to do.


So she isn't a girlfriend, as you mentioned in the thread title.

It's an interesting situation. There is a chance you would lose the friendship out of jealousy and you still may not get the girl so it depends on what you're willing to risk.
Original post by michael1010
Backing off completely isn't really an option since I live with the guy so I will be seeing the girl a lot and will see her on nights out etc. And also I don't really think I can ruin my reputation etc since he has explicitly said that they are not in a relationship and are only fwb. I also think if he had the chance he would probably get with other girls so I am not sure I see an issue I am just unsure of what to do.


Do you think the girl likes you back? Think about what would happen if you confessed your feelings for the girl - would it makes things awkward and how would your friend feel.
Reply 5
Original post by UWS
So she isn't a girlfriend, as you mentioned in the thread title.

It's an interesting situation. There is a chance you would lose the friendship out of jealousy and you still may not get the girl so it depends on what you're willing to risk.


Yeah sorry about that, I should have said fwb not girlfriend and yeah I need to weigh up if it is worth the risk.
Reply 6
Original post by cheesecakelove
Do you think the girl likes you back? Think about what would happen if you confessed your feelings for the girl - would it makes things awkward and how would your friend feel.


I'm not sure if she likes me and I was thinking instead of confessing any feelings I could just try to talk to her on a night out and make a move after a few drinks then I could blame the alcohol if things didn't work out.
You could try to get to know her more. If the connection grows stronger, ask her out. I wonder if you think you should talk to your friend also?

Original post by michael1010
I'm not sure if she likes me and I was thinking instead of confessing any feelings I could just try to talk to her on a night out and make a move after a few drinks then I could blame the alcohol if things didn't work out.
Reply 8
Original post by cheesecakelove
You could try to get to know her more. If the connection grows stronger, ask her out. I wonder if you think you should talk to your friend also?


It probably wouldn't be smart to talk to my friend yet just incase nothing actually happens. And yeah I think i'll be getting to know her more soon anyway since she will be at the house quite a bit and we will be going on nights out in the same groups.
I used to have a 'friend' like you.

His name was even Michael as well lol. Glad he's gone.
Reply 10
Wow, no bro code lool
A girl willing to get into FWB relationship after being turned down for a real relationship will not go for you. She must REALLY like your friend to do this for him. It is going to be very awkward if you confess. If I was you, I will not tell her. Let them be.
Original post by Kwaix
Wow, no bro code lool
A girl willing to get into FWB relationship after being turned down for a real relationship will not go for you. She must REALLY like your friend to do this for him. It is going to be very awkward if you confess. If I was you, I will not tell her. Let them be.


Yeah but at the time she did say no and that she didn't want a fwb, she only ended up going back with him again because she was drunk.
Original post by ChickenMadness
I used to have a 'friend' like you.

His name was even Michael as well lol. Glad he's gone.


Yeah but were you actually in a relationship with the girl or just fwb because there is a big difference. If my friend was in a relationship I would never consider doing anything
It's not like she is his property. Bite the bullet and take the risk if you feel something for this girl. Ask to talk to her and tell her how you feel

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