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Still a Virgin in your Twenties? Some Advice...
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I was a virgin until my 30’s, so I can really understand where a lot of people are coming from. I was terribly shy from puberty onwards, especially around girls, and combining this with low self-esteem meant that I always shied away from talking to the opposite sex.
My friends understood and were supportive, with a gentle bit of piss-taking, but they couldn’t really see why it was so difficult for me to chat women up. I didn’t really enjoy uni that much, was a bit of a loner, didn’t want to socialise much partly for fear that my secret would come out.
I spent most of my 20’s in the gym, hoping looking good would give me confidence to talk to women but however I looked on the outside it was still difficult, and the older I got, the more being a virgin was an embarrassment to me so that was an added pressure against getting into relationships. I hated myself for my shyness and fear but just locked it down deep and got on with my life.
To cut a long story short, I met the woman who is now my wife in my early 30’s. I was despairing of ever being able to have a proper relationship, and we were friends first which helped me to relax around her. Having said that, there was no way on earth I was ever going to tell her that I was a virgin, my deepest secret…way too embarrassing.
When we first had sex I was scared as hell, but ‘fake it until you make it’ worked ok for me, to be honest it was just a massive relief to get it done, but I was still never going to tell her I was a virgin before. Eventually I plucked up the courage to tell her a few months later and I really felt a huge weight being lifted from my being; she was so supportive, wished she’d known earlier and saw it as a good thing. I never thought any woman would ever see their boyfriend being a virgin as a positive, but there you go! We’ve been happy ever since and I truly feel fulfilled in my relationship and life.
What I guess I’m trying to say is: don’t despair, if it can happen to me it can happen to anyone, not all women see male virginity as something to be laughed at, and if you have mental health problems that are really affecting parts of your life massively, talk to someone about it. Maybe if I’d seen a therapist in my 20’s I wouldn’t have hated that part of my personality for so long and would eventually have been able to relax and talk to women and form relationships earlier. Maybe I wouldn’t, but if you don’t try you don’t know.
My friends understood and were supportive, with a gentle bit of piss-taking, but they couldn’t really see why it was so difficult for me to chat women up. I didn’t really enjoy uni that much, was a bit of a loner, didn’t want to socialise much partly for fear that my secret would come out.
I spent most of my 20’s in the gym, hoping looking good would give me confidence to talk to women but however I looked on the outside it was still difficult, and the older I got, the more being a virgin was an embarrassment to me so that was an added pressure against getting into relationships. I hated myself for my shyness and fear but just locked it down deep and got on with my life.
To cut a long story short, I met the woman who is now my wife in my early 30’s. I was despairing of ever being able to have a proper relationship, and we were friends first which helped me to relax around her. Having said that, there was no way on earth I was ever going to tell her that I was a virgin, my deepest secret…way too embarrassing.
When we first had sex I was scared as hell, but ‘fake it until you make it’ worked ok for me, to be honest it was just a massive relief to get it done, but I was still never going to tell her I was a virgin before. Eventually I plucked up the courage to tell her a few months later and I really felt a huge weight being lifted from my being; she was so supportive, wished she’d known earlier and saw it as a good thing. I never thought any woman would ever see their boyfriend being a virgin as a positive, but there you go! We’ve been happy ever since and I truly feel fulfilled in my relationship and life.
What I guess I’m trying to say is: don’t despair, if it can happen to me it can happen to anyone, not all women see male virginity as something to be laughed at, and if you have mental health problems that are really affecting parts of your life massively, talk to someone about it. Maybe if I’d seen a therapist in my 20’s I wouldn’t have hated that part of my personality for so long and would eventually have been able to relax and talk to women and form relationships earlier. Maybe I wouldn’t, but if you don’t try you don’t know.
(edited 6 years ago)
I have been so close to losing my virginity so many times but every time i ever get close to the glorious hole, all i want to seem to do turn her over and just go digging for brown gold. Can someone give me some advice? I am 19 and really worried that i keep messing things up and that people are scared of my rim job abilities.
Sincerely,
assmuncher
Sincerely,
assmuncher
Original post by Dani0322
Wonderful advice.
Thank you, Jack
Thank you, Jack
Its okay! No problem!
All girls r trife, most
Original post by Nobody123456
All girls r trife, most
Well thats mean. This is just aimed at guys btw
I used to get a lot of people who took the mick cause I lived the single life. In fact, I still do get some people who take the mick. I’ve stopped bothering though. I feel relationships and stuff like that happens at the right time, so for me it’ll happen at the right time and when I’m ready. Till then, I’m ready for those haters to bully me more. Come at me 😂
Original post by Kevin Hodge
I used to get a lot of people who took the mick cause I lived the single life. In fact, I still do get some people who take the mick. I’ve stopped bothering though. I feel relationships and stuff like that happens at the right time, so for me it’ll happen at the right time and when I’m ready. Till then, I’m ready for those haters to bully me more. Come at me 😂
I cannot take your picture seriously, omg
I remember watching the movie '40 year old virgin' and I knew it was going to be me. I've always been crazy shy so I couldn't see myself losing my virginity in my teens like my peers. I don't really care about the sex though, but I would like to experience the intimacy that comes with it if it's done right.
Original post by grl9096
I cannot take your picture seriously, omg
He’s got a twin brother and they’re called the Hodgetwins. They make YouTube videos. Trust me, if you watch them you’ll laugh so hard 😂
Just look at @eden3’s picture. He has the other twin brother.
Original post by cbreef
Are you a virgin Mr UWS?
he didnt answer, which means yes.
The same people who deride middle aged virgins are also the first to cry creep/refuse to reply/stand in impenetrable circles.
Its not a healthy situation for the white folks is it when you look at the number of teen mothers/children with step parents or whichever Dad is here this week and simultaneously see the large numbers of sensible middle class virgins/singletons/married-no kids. The Asian community has its **** in order while ours rewards total degeneracy and deviancy.
Its not a healthy situation for the white folks is it when you look at the number of teen mothers/children with step parents or whichever Dad is here this week and simultaneously see the large numbers of sensible middle class virgins/singletons/married-no kids. The Asian community has its **** in order while ours rewards total degeneracy and deviancy.
most people are virgins in their 20s not by choice
my advice is, get a hooker and be over it.
my advice is, get a hooker and be over it.
Original post by HucktheForde
OP post is trash ( i am sorry)
most people are virgins in their 20s not by choice
my advice is, get a hooker and be over it.
most people are virgins in their 20s not by choice
my advice is, get a hooker and be over it.
The feminists will say it is taking advantage of vulnerable women.
Something else aswell I can't help think that the explosion in the use of the term 'creep' is solely an attempt by the political/cultural elite to demonise the ordinary white male largely because our society is run by globalist homosexual paedophiles.
I'm a virgin, very soon approaching 20 (so i get I'm a few days younger than this article says). It's not like I want to be a virgin though. It's sad and probably unattractive, although I never show it, but I'm despreate to have sex, but I'm more desperate for it to mean something. I don't know what to do, because I can't have one night stands as I feel to uncomfortable and dating has never worked out for me - and it's made me feel really really low and unhappy, to the point I've been crying. I just want to be held really and feel loved
It took me til I was 24 and until then I thought it would never happen. It was painful seeing my friends have girlfriends, and some even had kids and got engaged. Last year I briefly dated a girl I met on Tinder. We got on really well and I liked her but she kept on talking about sex which obviously intimidated me because I'd never had it. I ended up lying to her about being a virgin which backfired badly. When I lost it to her my performance was so bad that I ended up breaking down and telling her the truth. She ended up dumping me and caused me to become near suicidal. Eventually I got with my girlfriend who I was honest from the get go with.
Even if you don't believe it will happen, keep your head up as it will happen. Try online dating, it does work if you stick to it. Then when it happens you'll see it's no big deal.
To point to the original post. I despise "Never Have I Ever" because of how it made me feel all those years ago. When I play it now I still don't bring up anything to do with sex when it's my turn.
Even if you don't believe it will happen, keep your head up as it will happen. Try online dating, it does work if you stick to it. Then when it happens you'll see it's no big deal.
To point to the original post. I despise "Never Have I Ever" because of how it made me feel all those years ago. When I play it now I still don't bring up anything to do with sex when it's my turn.
(edited 6 years ago)
Original post by cvslfc123
It took me til I was 24 and until then I thought it would never happen. It was painful seeing my friends have girlfriends, and some even had kids and got engaged. Last year I briefly dated a girl I met on Tinder. We got on really well and I liked her but she kept on talking about sex which obviously intimidated me because I'd never had it. I ended up lying to her about being a virgin which backfired badly. When I lost it to her my performance was so bad that I ended up breaking down and telling her the truth. She ended up dumping me and caused me to become near suicidal. Eventually I got with my girlfriend who I was honest from the get go with.
Even if you don't believe it will happen, keep your head up as it will happen. Try online dating, it does work if you stick to it. Then when it happens you'll see it's no big deal.
To point to the original post. I despise "Never Have I Ever" because of how it made me feel all those years ago. When I play it now I still don't bring up anything to do with sex when it's my turn.
Even if you don't believe it will happen, keep your head up as it will happen. Try online dating, it does work if you stick to it. Then when it happens you'll see it's no big deal.
To point to the original post. I despise "Never Have I Ever" because of how it made me feel all those years ago. When I play it now I still don't bring up anything to do with sex when it's my turn.
I still think you did the right thing. Telling her before might have put her off and you'd still have been a virgin.
Original post by Four Queue
I still think you did the right thing. Telling her before might have put her off and you'd still have been a virgin.
Yeah probably, she even said she found it bizarre if someone was still a virgin after 20. She was an ignorant ****.
I'm 21, in my fourth (last) year at uni, and it doesn't look likely that I'll lose mine anytime soon. The problem, at least for me, seems to lie in the confidence (or rather lack thereof) to date/ask girls out/etc. - and I feel like that, at least partly, arises from struggles with self-confidence/a clear aim in life.
I had girlfriends in school (and got close to losing my virginity, but I guess I wasn't quite ready then), and looking back at the past four years at uni, there was a real difference in my self-confidence then and now. I'm trying to find this self-confidence again by focusing in on what I want from life (apart from relationship stuff), like careers-wise and such - and hopefully getting with girls will happen more easily (edit: happen at all, haha). I often hear people say that when you have ambition/a clear aim in life and stop focusing on losing your virginity, it'll happen when you "least expect it" - perhaps this links in with the whole self-confidence thing?
Just some thoughts...
I had girlfriends in school (and got close to losing my virginity, but I guess I wasn't quite ready then), and looking back at the past four years at uni, there was a real difference in my self-confidence then and now. I'm trying to find this self-confidence again by focusing in on what I want from life (apart from relationship stuff), like careers-wise and such - and hopefully getting with girls will happen more easily (edit: happen at all, haha). I often hear people say that when you have ambition/a clear aim in life and stop focusing on losing your virginity, it'll happen when you "least expect it" - perhaps this links in with the whole self-confidence thing?
Just some thoughts...
Related discussions
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- Adult virgin
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