I'm not sure whether this belongs in mental health, but seeming as though it's a problem that has been out of control and is something I struggle with daily, I thought maybe it would be a good place.
My original situation was a far from uncommon one - Cambridge was my dream uni since I was very young. Though coming from a disadvantaged background I was passionate about my subject, and it came across in most forms - exam grades, super-curriculars, my personal statement, etc. I was absolutely thrilled at even being invited to interview, and so was my entire family knowing how it had been my dream since I was a fetus. (And to be honest, today I'm not even really sure why. Sure, it's an amazing university. But there are other universities that are just as amazing. I loved the course I wanted to apply for, but I think it was just the pretty architecture that got me tbh)
But having had this dream for so long and feeling as though my life culminated into one climactic 25 minute interview, I placed an extreme amount of pressure on myself and basically psyched myself out and performed horribly. On top of this I had serious family health issues going on a few days before my interview and my mind was not in the right place. Just thinking of my interview makes me physically cringe, because I was not myself. Understandably, I was not given an offer.
I decided against gap year and I am now at another uni; I am so grateful for attending another world class school, and the opportunity I have to even pursue higher education. But it's been almost 10 months since receiving my rejection and I think about it every single day. I don't cry every day, but I always get this numb feeling and pure regret at the thought that I messed up my own dream. Every night I ask myself what would have happened if I hadn't been so nervous, my thoughts so scrambled because of what was going on in my life. I literally had everything in the bag (per my feedback) it was just my ridiculous interview that damaged my application. Recently I had to get a physical examination done for sport at my uni and I was told I had high blood pressure - which does not run in my family and I am of good health. I can't help but think it might be because of this.
I am posting because it is normal to be disappointed after a uni rejection. What isn't normal is being extremely depressed about it for 10 months. I feel the same way I felt when I first got my rejection; none of my emotions have died down. Obviously life isn't fair and it is a good lesson in that respect, but reminding myself of that doesn't seem to be a good enough solution.
Should I speak with a therapist/mental health counselor about this? If anyone here has had this situation too, what did you do?