Need advice with this girl

Hi TSR - I'm posting anonymously because some people know my account, but I'll reply.
I'm at school, and at the start of this year I really liked this girl who I was talking to almost daily at school and rarely on my phone but despite efforts to try to talk to her she stopped paying any attention to me. Being in confident I gave up all faith and was upset because I couldn't let it go. I still like her, but she's made new friends out of a gang of people without the best reputation. My worry is that one of those will start going out with her, and I'll lose all chance.
- I'm not the most confident guy, nor the best looking
- I'm 18 and not been in a serious relationship before.
- Haven't had a girlfriend for years, have liked girls but ended up giving up out of being too shy.
- Not the most popular at school
If anyone can give any advice as to which direction to take this - and if you need any more information to help me I can reply.
Thanks for any help.

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Reply 1

ra-ra-rasputin

Has she been going out of her way to ignore you?

Reply 2

Anonymous #1

Original post by ra-ra-rasputin

Has she been going out of her way to ignore you?

Not out of her way, but she's made eye contact a few times and not said anything, sometimes she turns away but maybe thats me being overly conscious.

Reply 3

ra-ra-rasputin

Hmm... Like were you quite close?? Like I am a girl lmao so if you give me more to work with I could help you figure this out haha

Reply 4

Anonymous #1

Original post by ra-ra-rasputin

Hmm... Like were you quite close?? Like I am a girl lmao so if you give me more to work with I could help you figure this out haha

Reasonably, not overly like we'd talk but it wasn't a lot about much other than school and that, she doesn't know the way I feel put it that way.

Reply 5

ra-ra-rasputin

I feel like I've been in this situation - except I was the girl.

How much do you know her? Or do you just like the idea of her? Are you SURE you'd actually want to be with her in a relationship? Do you have compatible personalities?

Reply 6

Anonymous #1

I feel like had our personalities not been compatible we wouldn't have spoken much in the first place, I'm fairly sure, but if I wasn't then that's my mistake to make, but there's no way to figure that out but try. TY for the help BTW

Reply 7

Anonymous #1

Original post by ra-ra-rasputin

Sorry forgot to Quote above :tongue:

Reply 8

ra-ra-rasputin

Ok well I've not exactly helped you really but - here's a tip - girls like confident guys. And you can become confident. Your insecurity will shoot you down before she does otherwise.

Reply 9

Anonymous #1

Original post by ra-ra-rasputin

Ok well I've not exactly helped you really but - here's a tip - girls like confident guys. And you can become confident. Your insecurity will shoot you down before she does otherwise.

Thanks

BUMP

Just be confident and decisive and don't beat around the bush

Reply 12

Anonymous #3

Girls tend to like guys with noticeable confidence, and once they get to know you they tend to find it quite cute if you're actually a bit shy (some girls and for some odd reason I'm yet to understand) I think if you appear confident, and to have all the mates, it'll be generally easier with girls, but as with your specific situation, finding a way to find out what happened between you two

Reply 13

Anonymous #1

Original post by Anonymous

I'm at a loss - she just stopped one day and she's friends with these others I can't stand and its really irritating, but TY for the advice :smile:

Reply 14

basicallyshrek

You could try asking her if everythings ok but she probably has her own reasons to be honest and it's up to her wether or not she will feel comfortable telling you what they are. I've done this to guys before and have felt awful about it but it was more because of my own anxiety and insecurities than it was about them.

Honestly, I feel like you just need closure and to move forward. Its not my place at all to say this.. but maybe a relationship isn't the best thing for you right now? If you lack confidence like me, the best thing you can do for yourself is to learn more about who you are and learn to trust yourself first.

I hope this helps :smile:

Reply 15

Anonymous #1

Original post by basicallyshrek

Thanks for the reply, but I found my inconfidence was only in talking to girls and very little in anything else, besides I run the medical society at my school and often have to talk to large groups of people when I'm doing that, and I don't suffer any anxiety then. Idk, someone once told me that I can only get better by trying it. Do you think telling close friends about the problem might get me some more direct advice, because they might know her? Thanks for the reply.

Reply 16

basicallyshrek

Original post by Anonymous

Yeah, I mean if you have a fairly good relationship with her friends then asking them might give you more insight as to why she suddenly stopped talking to you. If you want to put your mind at ease or at least have a better idea of how things stand between you guys, asking her directly or her friends would be your best bet. Honestly though, like I said before she probably has her own reasons and if she chooses to distance herself from you there's not much you can do about it unfortunately.

That being said, I hope you do find out why lol hopefully it'll put your mind at ease :h:

Reply 17

Anonymous #1

TY for advice, its not so much finding out why its just working out how to move forward and potentially ask her out, I'm not sure. Yeah I don't have a great relationship with her friends, I had a hard time during GCSEs because of bullies and now somehow they're still doing A levels and instead of being confrontational they just don't speak. I'm really struggling. I just want it to be back to when we used to just talk etc now its like I don't exist.