The Student Room Group

Girl wants to take it "slow"

Hey,

I recently went to a party and met a girl, this was last friday. I follow her on instagram like you would and added her snapchat. The next day I messaged her and stuff went on from there, we got along dead well. Message everyday sometimes call and chat ect ect...

We have not done any physical stuff at all.

She invited me to a bonfire night at her house, I went. Well at least I thought we both enjoyed it and I met her Dad which was a tad awkward.

Today the next day she sent me a message saying "I want to take things slow" and I do not know how to take this, obviously I responded dead chill about it and respect her wishes of course.

But like whats the next steps? I think she is cute and all, is this a way of her friendzoning me ? (I think so maybe possibly). Shall I start to take my foot off the accelerator and just let her call the shots, let her message me first and all now?

Any advice would be helpful.

She has mentioned that in the past she has rushed into things without the knowing person as well as she should of so maybe that is it? Maybe she is worried / nervous of something bad....
Hi! I'd say she's definitely not friendzoning you. She clearly just wants to move slowly so she doesn't jump straight in and regret it as she must have done in the past. It honestly sounds like nothing to concern yourself about, and is a very reasonable thing for her to say.
Original post by EmilySarah00
Hi! I'd say she's definitely not friendzoning you. She clearly just wants to move slowly so she doesn't jump straight in and regret it as she must have done in the past. It honestly sounds like nothing to concern yourself about, and is a very reasonable thing for her to say.


That's is great, she was like idk what will happen in the future and stuff. I was getting a tad concerned but did not try to show it. She did tell me she enjoys speaking and I make her laugh so. Also she did mention she hates clingy so maybe messaging everyday might not help? Should I do what I said and wait for her to message me or call me in the future...
Reply 3
There are a host of reasons.

It can mean she wants time to evaluate all her other options and continue talking to other guys. It could mean she's not sure of her attraction to you and isn't ready to get to those next stages of a romantic relationship until those feelings develop. It can mean she's shy and wants to feel comfortable before progressing. She could have been hurt in a previous relationship and wants to make sure you're a genuine guy and that you earn her trust before she gives you all the benefits of a relationship.

You have to talk to her about which reason she might have here to know how to proceed.
Original post by NoodleGCSEFOOD
That's is great, she was like idk what will happen in the future and stuff. I was getting a tad concerned but did not try to show it. She did tell me she enjoys speaking and I make her laugh so. Also she did mention she hates clingy so maybe messaging everyday might not help? Should I do what I said and wait for her to message me or call me in the future...


Try and find a happy medium. If you're worried you're being too clingy lay off for a day and see if she messages you. It sounds like shes just tentative and still working out if she's looking for something solid with you. Just continue being yourself and try your best not to overthink things :cute:
Original post by UWS
There are a host of reasons.

It can mean she wants time to evaluate all her other options and continue talking to other guys. It could mean she's not sure of her attraction to you and isn't ready to get to those next stages of a romantic relationship until those feelings develop. It can mean she's shy and wants to feel comfortable before progressing. She could have been hurt in a previous relationship and wants to make sure you're a genuine guy and that you earn her trust before she gives you all the benefits of a relationship.

You have to talk to her about which reason she might have here to know how to proceed.


its 100% the "past" card she is playing from what she was telling me... I just do not know how to play on from this
Reply 6
Original post by NoodleGCSEFOOD
its 100% the "past" card she is playing from what she was telling me... I just do not know how to play on from this


Then just take it easy, don't be too forward with her at this stage. Still hang out together and get to know her more, but leave any physical things until later (e.g. hugging or kissing).
Original post by EmilySarah00
Try and find a happy medium. If you're worried you're being too clingy lay off for a day and see if she messages you. It sounds like shes just tentative and still working out if she's looking for something solid with you. Just continue being yourself and try your best not to overthink things :cute:


Thank you so much :smile: I will try my best. Its been a week so I havent got big feelings and I could easily move on if nothing comes from this.
Original post by UWS
Then just take it easy, don't be too forward with her at this stage. Still hang out together and get to know her more, but leave any physical things until later (e.g. hugging or kissing).


Yeah I will try to leave them out, she brought up this whole thing because of last night and she was like when we hugged (you know when you get that look before a kiss) well that happened. I think that is what has triggered this
I'd personally 'move on' in my mind and not get my hopes up. For self preservation lol. Not really into wishy washy girls like this. Would meet her at the same level and put no effort in and carry on like I'm single.

man's not gonna get broken hearted
(edited 6 years ago)
Original post by ChickenMadness
I'd personally 'move on' in my mind and not get my hopes up. For self preservation lol. Not really into wishy washy girls like this. Would meet her at the same level and put no effort in and carry on like I'm single.

man's not gonna get broken hearted


I've legit took this way of dealing with it. I messaged her just once this morning good luck on the exam and she replied thanks.

She sent me a snapchat for the streak just then and I ignored it. She wont like that I bet hahaha
Original post by NoodleGCSEFOOD
I've legit took this way of dealing with it. I messaged her just once this morning good luck on the exam and she replied thanks.

She sent me a snapchat for the streak just then and I ignored it. She wont like that I bet hahaha


lmao. Ye just mirror the level of communication she puts in.

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