I need to move out and i need advice someone please help??

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yeah sure. 16 year old going to move away and stay with an 18 year old lad. are you that naive, ive invited my kids to leave many times and they are all still here. it means youve annoyed her. what are you doing to wind her up. are you still in education. because if you are not or training her money for you will have stopped. so stop stropping get an education and realize that your still a moody teen. you cant help it but dont expect your mum to like you when your acting up. creeping by the way is so obvious she will know you want something. the threat to call the plod means she cares for you. now glow up act like an adult be helpful and find out whats upsetting your mum. and try to support her.

It doesn't mean i am with him? Not naive at all. My mum is very nasty to me you don't know all of it so please don't act like you do. I haven't done anything to wind her up, we have never gotten on, i have respected her and been patient and i get treated like ****. I stopped going to college yes because of my mental health. Im not a 'moody teen' at all i think you're very rude to be honest. I have spoken to her and supported her and i get **** all back. I have worked and given her all the money I can and still i get nothing but her being nasty. Just because im a teenager does not mean im in the wrong.

Reply 21

Ling91

Original post by AnonYmouZzz

No, I have been very respectful to her but she is nothing but nasty to me, my dad isn't in my life.

So sorry to hear you are not in good terms with you Mom, and that she is being nasty with you.. But, why is she being nasty with you then? Any particular reason..? Is she suffering from any mental issue ..? Or drug or alcohol addiction ..?
Unless they are suffering from a serious and disabling health condition..Every Mom should love their kids regardless of how they behave or look like.. This comes by natural law..
I can't really undestand how a Mom could be nasty with her son.. She may say nasty things sometimes when she is particularly stressed or exhausted or when she gets fed with something, but then, it's just a temporary thing, and then, perhaps, in a couple of hours she'll be fine.. But, from the bottom of their heart ,they won't have actually even thought the nasty things they have said ..

(edited 6 years ago)

Reply 22

AnonYmouZzz

Original post by Ling91

So sorry to hear you are not in good terms with you Mom, and that she is being nasty with you.. But, why is she being nasty with you then? Any particular reason..? Is she suffering from any mental issue ..? Or drug or alcohol addiction ..?
Unless they are suffering from a serious and disabling condition..Every Mom should love their kids regardless of how they behave or look like.. This comes by natural law..
I can't really undestand how a Mom could be nasty with her son.. She may say nasty things sometimes when she is particularly stressed or exhausted or when she gets fed with something, but then, it's just a temporary thing, and then, perhaps, in a couple of hours she'll be fine.. But, from the bottom of their heart ,they won't have actually even thought the nasty things they have said ..

She has nothing wrong with her me and her just don't have a very good relationship, I have told her what she says upsets me but it doesn't seem to bother her. It isn't only her, it's my whole family they are all like it and are all very judgemental.

Reply 23

Kindred

Original post by AnonYmouZzz

Me and my mum haven't been getting on and she keeps telling me to move out. I have tried to be nice for months and it's just gotten even worse. She told me to leave again so I have decided I will. I live in England right now and I'm moving to Scotland on Tuesday. My mum said she will call the police. Can they force me to go back home? I'm 16.

"At age 16
You can leave home without your parents' or carers' permission. If you become homeless and you're 16 or 17 years old, you may be entitled to help with money, housing, education, training and support from social services.

You can get practical advice on your rights and what you can do to find a place to live by calling Shelter on 0808 800 4444. Your local council will be able to give you more information on the help you can get."
That is from this page about your rights as a child/ young person.
https://www.childline.org.uk/info-advice/bullying-abuse-safety/your-rights/your-rights/

Basically you can decide to leave home and nobody can force you to go back. The police may suggest it, but if they do get involved just be honest with them about why you want to leave and remember that it is your choice.

As far as your plans go, it's great that you have worked out a place to stay and a job, but I do suggest you go to college too. Not only will it give you important qualifications, but you can also access support like counselling through them.
You may also want to bare in mind the legal school leaving age. You can read about that here:
https://www.gov.uk/know-when-you-can-leave-school

At 16 you may also be able to go into care or supported living of some form. That could be helpful as it means you don't have to support yourself and can focus on studies and your mental well-being.
It might be helpful for you to talk to somebody like childline or the police just so you know all your options and can be sure you're doing things the right way so there's minimal confusion or issues for you.

Whatever you do, please make sure you have support and also that you inform people just so there's no confusion.
These links may help you:
http://www.runawayhelpline.org.uk/?gclid=EAIaIQobChMI8p2QjOqo1wIVrp3tCh1DDQw7EAAYASAAEgJcPvD_BwE

https://www.childline.org.uk/info-advice/home-families/family-relationships/homelessness-running-away/

https://www.childline.org.uk/get-support/

http://ymcasafeplaceservices.org/

https://www.relate.org.uk/relationship-help/talk-someone

https://www.gov.uk/your-rights-to-housing-if-youre-under-18

Hope that elps and good luck with everything. :smile:

(edited 6 years ago)

Reply 24

Kindred

Original post by AspiringUnderdog

Yeah she might be able to get the police to force you back then. Will the friend you're staying with have their parents there? Also there may be another issue since legally you have to be in education until 18.

Just for the record a 16 year old has the right to leave home if they want to and cannot be forced back.
It's a confusing one and I had to google it to be sure, but once you're 16 you can leave home legally.

And as for education it's 18 in England (that can mean school or something like an apprenticeship), but it's some variation of 16 in both Scotland and Wales.
Not sure what OP would count as if they live in England, but plan to move to Scotland though.

Here's a page that explains young people's rights:
https://www.childline.org.uk/info-advice/bullying-abuse-safety/your-rights/your-rights/

Sorry, don't want to sound rude or anything, just thought I'd let you know since it's kinda hard to find info on it :smile:

Reply 25

AnonYmouZzz

Original post by Kindred

"At age 16
You can leave home without your parents' or carers' permission. If you become homeless and you're 16 or 17 years old, you may be entitled to help with money, housing, education, training and support from social services.

You can get practical advice on your rights and what you can do to find a place to live by calling Shelter on 0808 800 4444. Your local council will be able to give you more information on the help you can get."
That is from this page about your rights as a child/ young person.
https://www.childline.org.uk/info-advice/bullying-abuse-safety/your-rights/your-rights/

Basically you can decide to leave home and nobody can force you to go back. The police may suggest it, but if they do get involved just be honest with them about why you want to leave and remember that it is your choice.

As far as your plans go, it's great that you have worked out a place to stay and a job, but I do suggest you go to college too. Not only will it give you important qualifications, but you can also access support like counselling through them.
You may also want to bare in mind the legal school leaving age. You can read about that here:
https://www.gov.uk/know-when-you-can-leave-school

At 16 you may also be able to go into care or supported living of some form. That could be helpful as it means you don't have to support yourself and can focus on studies and your mental well-being.
It might be helpful for you to talk to somebody like childline or the police just so you know all your options and can be sure you're doing things the right way so there's minimal confusion or issues for you.

Whatever you do, please make sure you have support and also that you inform people just so there's no confusion.
These links may help you:
http://www.runawayhelpline.org.uk/?gclid=EAIaIQobChMI8p2QjOqo1wIVrp3tCh1DDQw7EAAYASAAEgJcPvD_BwE

https://www.childline.org.uk/info-advice/home-families/family-/homelessness-running-away/

https://www.childline.org.uk/get-support/

http://ymcasafeplaceservices.org/

https://www.relate.org.uk/relationship-help/talk-someone

https://www.gov.uk/your-rights-to-housing-if-youre-under-18

Hope that elps and good luck with everything. :smile:

Thank you so much!! I had an idea of going to my local police station tomorrow and talking to them to ask for advice and things but this has helped me a lot, really thank you :smile:

Reply 26

Ling91

Original post by Kindred

That's brilliant. I think this is the best and comprehensive answer. It's inclusive of lots of useful tips, references or links .. So you just need to go through them carefully, step by step..
I've noticed a section for mental health support has been recently added either among the forums.. So, should you need any help or support, just visit the forum linked below.. 😉
https://www.thestudentroom.co.uk/showthread.php?t=4962094

Or alternatively go to: https://moodgym.com.au

Hope this will help or guide you somehow..And, finally.. Don'want to sound naggy but , as you may have been told quite a few times already, education is really important.. It will give you much more job opportunities and entitlements (also in terms of money).. So, my suggestion is.. try at least to enter and complete the college.. It may be worthing for you to gain further qualifications.. Especially, nowadays , when the job market is so competitive and a qualification is often a requirement.

You take care,

Wish you good luck

(edited 6 years ago)

Reply 27

Kindred

Original post by AnonYmouZzz

Thank you so much!! I had an idea of going to my local police station tomorrow and talking to them to ask for advice and things but this has helped me a lot, really thank you :smile:

That sounds like a great idea. Good luck. :smile:

Reply 28

doodle_333

You sound pretty naive - you're going to go live with some older guy a very long way from home? And you think you're going to find work easily AND study at the same time?

I get that you don't get on with your mum. That's true for A LOT of 16 y/os - and idk maybe she is really a lot worse than average. But it's 2 years. Get through the next 2 years and finish your education properly and then you decide between uni and working - either way you can leave home.

I can't see things ending well with your current plan. This guy is going to expect something from you living there, at the very least money but it's very easy to be taken advantage of in a situation like that. You're going to struggle to earn enough to support yourself independently at 16 and you're certainly not going to be able to work and study at the same time. This is the only opportunity you have to finish your education - don't throw it away.

Reply 29

bbygal

The police cannot force you back at all. Your mum can report you missing and you might have to go to your local police station to reassure them that you're safe but that's about it. I talk from experience as I had the same issue with my mum and had to get away for a bit,

Reply 30

Euci

Have you tried talking to your mum and seeing why she is annoyed at you?
If she tells you, then you may be able to settle your differences and live together happily. The thing is, leaving your mum may make her more stressed.

If not and you do move to Scotland, maybe keep in contact with your mum, just so you don't completely leave her.
If I were you, I'd stay, complete your A-Levels, then when your 18, you can move out.