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Would you dump a girl if she developed an eating disorder

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That's like "would you dumb someone who was going through depression and was considering suicide?"

Of course I wouldn't, a good person should be there for their partner in difficult times, not abandon them.
I'm actually on the other side of this -- I've not been eating, for personal reasonsi'm not gonna talk about, and my boyfriend has been great with it -- if you dump her, it will do nothing to help, it will probably only make her feel worse and make her food complex worse -- she'll feel, no matter what you say, that you broke up with her because she got really fat and didn't look nice anymore, or that you thought she was insane or that you simply don't care. Everyone else -- my mum, one of my sisters, my neighbour, my friends at uni -- have started to notice that somethings up with me, but my boyfriend is the only one who encourages me to eat, and is, i feel at least, the only one who cares.
Original post by Wilfred Little
Exactly, and if it's early on why does he have an obligation to stay and take all of that on and 'support her' :biggrin:? Would be a massive red flag if I had been on a few dates and the girl was showing signs of an eating disorder, I wouldn't want to deal with it.


TBH from what I've seen/heard an anorexic will only usually put up with a partner who enables them... which isn't a good thing.
my ex developped an eating disorder and a drug/alcohol addiction and I helped her get over it. She still cheated on me though :laugh:

Sloot.


Original post by doodle_333
TBH from what I've seen/heard an anorexic will only usually put up with a partner who enables them... which isn't a good thing.


nah you just need to make them feel they're attractive the way they are and guide them into a more healthy lifestyle, working out, balanced diet, etc. Like educated them on health and fitness and how to get the body they actually want. Bring them to the gym with you and hold their hand lol.

source: eating disorder ex.



Original post by BerniHurton
I'm actually on the other side of this -- I've not been eating, for personal reasonsi'm not gonna talk about, and my boyfriend has been great with it -- if you dump her, it will do nothing to help, it will probably only make her feel worse and make her food complex worse -- she'll feel, no matter what you say, that you broke up with her because she got really fat and didn't look nice anymore, or that you thought she was insane or that you simply don't care. Everyone else -- my mum, one of my sisters, my neighbour, my friends at uni -- have started to notice that somethings up with me, but my boyfriend is the only one who encourages me to eat, and is, i feel at least, the only one who cares.


lol ye my ex was acting weird not eating. Then eventually ended up crying and said she was worried I'd dump her for getting fat :laugh: . Laughing at them when they say stupid stuff like that helps I've found :rofl: So they know they're being ridiculous. And it lightens up the mood lol.
(edited 6 years ago)
Original post by BerniHurton
I'm actually on the other side of this -- I've not been eating, for personal reasonsi'm not gonna talk about, and my boyfriend has been great with it -- if you dump her, it will do nothing to help, it will probably only make her feel worse and make her food complex worse -- she'll feel, no matter what you say, that you broke up with her because she got really fat and didn't look nice anymore, or that you thought she was insane or that you simply don't care. Everyone else -- my mum, one of my sisters, my neighbour, my friends at uni -- have started to notice that somethings up with me, but my boyfriend is the only one who encourages me to eat, and is, i feel at least, the only one who cares.


This is a really unfair thing to say. OP is not obligated to stay with someone because they're sick and it's horrible to say she will be more sick because of him if he leaves her. If she gets worse that is a combination of her illness and personal choice. I'm not saying this to be mean, I struggled with an eating disorder for a long time. But I do not feel any resentment to the guys who I broke up with or who broke up with me during those years, it didn't work out because 95% of my energy was devoted to food/weight and it's not fair to expect someone to watch you hurt yourself and always be last on your list of priorities.

Original post by ChickenMadness
my ex developped an eating disorder and a drug/alcohol addiction and I helped her get over it. She still cheated on me though :laugh:

Sloot.

nah you just need to make them feel they're attractive the way they are and guide them into a more healthy lifestyle, working out, balanced diet, etc. Like educated them on health and fitness and how to get the body they actually want. Bring them to the gym with you and hold their hand lol.

source: eating disorder ex.

lol ye my ex was acting weird not eating. Then eventually ended up crying and said she was worried I'd dump her for getting fat :laugh: . Laughing at them when they say stupid stuff like that helps I've found :rofl: So they know they're being ridiculous. And it lightens up the mood lol.


Anyone who has a proper eating disorder will not be helped by a few 'aw babe you look beautiful as you are' comments and advice on working out. It is really not about losing 5lbs to look good.
Source: diagnosed and treated for a serious eating disorder
Original post by Anonymous
If you were dating a girl and things were going well but you noticed gradually her eating habits were going downhill to the point where she was only eating 1 meal per day and she keeps referring to herself as things like a "beached whale", "pig", "obese troll" etc even though she is slim, would you dump her?
And she sometimes takes laxatives even though she doesn't need them.


No I wouldn't abandon her in her time of need. I would try and get her help and help her through it, supporting her back to recovery. You're supposed to support each other in a relationship through the bad times as well as the good. It won't be easy but if you're serious about your relationship you'll push through it.
(edited 4 years ago)
Reply 26
Unpopular opinion but probably I would, not the disorder itself the annoying jabs at your own self esteem and if you were being a ***** otherwise it'd be ok
Original post by doodle_333


Anyone who has a proper eating disorder will not be helped by a few 'aw babe you look beautiful as you are' comments and advice on working out. It is really not about losing 5lbs to look good.
Source: diagnosed and treated for a serious eating disorder


She's alright now though lol. Got over the drugs too mostly. We went to mental health clinics together :smile:

I think you're just speaking for yourself.
(edited 6 years ago)
Original post by doodle_333
Anyone who has a proper eating disorder will not be helped by a few 'aw babe you look beautiful as you are' comments and advice on working out. It is really not about losing 5lbs to look good.
Source: diagnosed and treated for a serious eating disorder


Absolutely agree

Honestly, this is coming from 10 years experience with A/N, you should encourage her to seek help and then break up with her. First of all, you're posting this so what does that tell you about the current relationship? Second you're just not qualified; if you're not 100% sure that you're not making her worse and that this illness isn't going to make you crazy, you gotta just let her go
Original post by ChickenMadness
She's alright now though lol. Got over the drugs too mostly. We went to mental health clinics together :smile:

I think you're just speaking for yourself.



I really hope that she is okay, but A/N is a mental disorder, so you can't tell just by looking at her. And if you're broken up, unless you're bff's, how could you know? I faked my way out of recovery at least a dozen times ahaha
I'm 21, and up to now I've been in many relationships. They all left me just because I'm too skinny and not Feminine (in their Perspective) I really got offended........why men are so judgmental ?
There is a fue things you need to undstand:

1. just because she refers to herself in a negative way does not mean she has a problem it may be better to talk to her and try and address these issues rather than just saying its not true (For me I thought if I saw that I was FAT though others would tell me I was slim I would just think they're lying to you they feel sorry for you, or they want you to get fat and none of it was true but that is what I thought.

2. Eating little is very hard but it's also easy for that to become your way of life (I only ate 1 meal per day for 4 years I would eat enough in that sitting to last the whole day)

3. Also just keep an eye on her and make sure that she is ok a professional help is not always a bad thing.

If you want to break up with her because of a bump in the road it shows what is a rude person you are.
No.
Heck no, firstly, that would make it worse. Secondly, life has it's hardships and in a relationship you need to work together to get through them. If you don't want to put the effort in and simply abandon her at the first inconvenience you encounter then you don't really deserve a long and happy relationship, simply because they require a lot of work.

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