At what age do you start to really feel like an adult? (If ever!)

I know a lot of people often say that “adulting” is hard and they still feel like a big kid. I’m in my twenties and I still feel unequip to deal with “grown-up stuff” and I know I’m not the only one that feels this way. Or maybe I’m overthinking my work and studies and general life. I just keep thinking of this same question of when will I actually feel like an adult, and not just an imposter? When will I actually start to feel like my position in life is valid and legitimate, and I’m not just a kid wearing adult lace ups?

Or maybe there is no particular feeling or age associated with being an adult? Maybe we put too much emphasis on limiting kids until a certain cut-off age? Surely it’s okay to still remain playful, hopeful, cheerful like a kid? Or maybe it’s okay to depend on people, regardless of your age?

I have too many questions and I don’t know where I’m going with this. Would love to know what people think! 🤷*♀️

Reply 1

DrawTheLine

I started feeling like more of an adult earlier this year. I booked my first holiday by myself, I went on holiday by myself, I met my boyfriend, I started uni, I'm food shopping and planning my meals, I'm responsible for getting myself to places. I'm going on holiday again this year to see my boyfriend again. I'm spending my first Christmas away from home this year. Of course some of those things means my dad hasn't spoken to me since the middle of October but I guess that's just the process of growing up.

I don't feel like a total adult because I still don't know what on earth taxes are or how to set up gas and electric companies etc. I'm getting there though.

Reply 2

Kindred

Never. You just feel a little less like a child or better at hiding it. :smile:

I've felt more adult as I started interacting as peers with adults, sorting out things like medical stuff myself etc, but I doubt I'll ever feel like a proper adult even when I'm a 90year old granny.

Reply 3

bones-mccoy

I think over the last year and a half I've started feeling like a proper adult. Last year I worked on a summer camp which meant flying over to America on my own and navigating a huge city by myself, which is incredible considering my prior issues with anxiety. Also last year, when I got back from camp, I met my boyfriend who has a daughter of his own so I essentially have a stepdaughter now. Even though she lives with her mother the majority of the time, I still fill the "mum" role, helping with homework, doing packed lunches etc. I do all the cleaning, cooking, washing, I pay for holidays, I understand taxes and mortgages and how to pay bills and basically all the boring adult stuff.

Reply 4

lavidastudent

Really interesting to read the thoughts shared. It made me think about how often people during their school years complain they are never taught about important life things, like taxes or laws or mortgages etc. Yet at school perhaps we aren’t ready for that information and part of being an “adult” is picking up that stuff as you go along and taking on responsibility? Still so many questions! This is such a fascinating topic, because it’s subjective and personal.

Reply 5

Clairemitch31

Lol yeah good subject 😜. I’m 30 and I started to feel like an adult when I started paying my own bills and moved out. But trust me I couldn’t wait to be an adult but Now i hate it. I wish I lived at home with no worries and my mum cooking me dinner and doing my washing lol. But I know what you mean you will always feel like a kid inside. My dad once told me he doesn’t feel any different from when he was 18 lol. I started to feel a bit old when my mum started asking me for advice about stuff and when you feel you have to look after your parents. They get a bit soft when there older lol.

Reply 6

Profesh

Original post by lavidastudent

30.

Reply 7

Bio 7

Original post by DrawTheLine

Exactly the same situation, nearly. All but the boyfriend and holiday bit applies to me.

Reply 8

Sabertooth

I rent a house, have a job, pay bills/taxes, am married, have pets, a car.....yet I still find myself referring to myself as a "stupid kid" as if I was 15. :confused:

Reply 9

RockyDennis

The moment you lose all respect for the authority of helicopter parents.

Reply 10

lavidastudent

Original post by Clairemitch31

My mum's food is the best and dad is like a professional ironer, so I totally get that side of being a kid at home with the family! I kind of do fear the future, when they might rely more on me and there is a shift in the relationship. Interesting response though!

Reply 11

doodle_333

I'm 26 and haven't reached that point yet. I have brief moments of feeling adult e.g. when I say something about 'my accountant' I feel grown up or if I happen to sort out something like an electricity contract without anything getting messed up but it never tends to last. Something breaks or work gets difficult or whatever else and I just wanna call my mum and ignore everything which is not very adult.