Scroll to see replies
Then you need to get out of the habit of being a perfectionist, and see beating him as a stretch goal rather than a true goal.
It's okey to have a grade lower then you wanted, but i would suggest that maybe the huge amount of stress you put on yourself to succeed is restricted your academic ability.
There's no way you'll be able to get loads of A*s or whatever if you continue to compare yourself to others and put yourself through constant worry. Please consider finding a counsellor or therapist, or pretty much any mental health professional that can help you in this situation.
There's no way you'll be able to get loads of A*s or whatever if you continue to compare yourself to others and put yourself through constant worry. Please consider finding a counsellor or therapist, or pretty much any mental health professional that can help you in this situation.
Original post by DYoverDX
Therapy doesn't work. It never does.
And neither does admitting defeat. How does one even hope to get better if all they do moan about bad past experiences? It's not like op's situation can even get much worse.
Excuse me, but this is some hilarious ****.
Original post by DYoverDX
Therapy doesn't work. It never does.
That's really not true. Of course, you have to find a therapist who you can work with, but therapy can really make a difference and does to shedloads of people.
Original post by jade_oswell_89
Hello. I'm known to be a perfectionist, like a mental one as well. If I don't get the grade I want on a homework piece of an end of unit test I will literally have a mental breakdown in the school's bathroom. What makes it all worse is the fact is that I'm constantly competing against this other high-achiever in my class. He is getting higher grades than me and I'm getting sooo depressed to the point where I cry every single day before I go to bed and while I am on my way home. I study hard and everything, it's just that he's smarter.
Do you think crying is a sensible response because on person got a higher mark?
Just do your best and be happy with that. there will be many thousands of smarter pupils. Are you going to cry for each one of those as well?
Stop comparing and if you need to, then work out where you lost marks and improve next time. If you dont then you are going to make yourself miserable and sad. In the meantime other pupils will try their bast, be ok with their grade, but also have a social life and not make themselves miserable because thats boring and pointless. You need to get some perspective. You might get that as you get older.
Original post by jade_oswell_89
Hello. I'm known to be a perfectionist, like a mental one as well. If I don't get the grade I want on a homework piece of an end of unit test I will literally have a mental breakdown in the school's bathroom. What makes it all worse is the fact is that I'm constantly competing against this other high-achiever in my class. He is getting higher grades than me and I'm getting sooo depressed to the point where I cry every single day before I go to bed and while I am on my way home. I study hard and everything, it's just that he's smarter.
Do you know how childish that sounds? There is always someone that is better than you and plenty of people that are worse than you.
Get a ****ing grip.
Original post by jade_oswell_89
Hello. I'm known to be a perfectionist, like a mental one as well. If I don't get the grade I want on a homework piece of an end of unit test I will literally have a mental breakdown in the school's bathroom. What makes it all worse is the fact is that I'm constantly competing against this other high-achiever in my class. He is getting higher grades than me and I'm getting sooo depressed to the point where I cry every single day before I go to bed and while I am on my way home. I study hard and everything, it's just that he's smarter.
There will always be people better than you in life. It's just something you have to get over.
I can relate so much, as I used to have this intense rivalry at school and it was quite evident to all the other schoolmates...to be totally honest though if I didn't have him to compete with I would not have been motivated enough to achieve 11A*s. Although we were good friends (sorta) and even though I did cry and have a breakdown when he was chosen as Head Boy over me, I really learnt that there will always be people better than you.
Me comparing myself with another isn't helping me, but using that comparison to fuel self-determination is extremely helpful. You know what, he may seem like your enemy, and perhaps in your competitive adolescent eyes, he is. But if you approach him and interact with him in a friendly way, this will become a motivating rivalry. Maybe you feel you can't match his calibre, but the better thing to do is learn from him. Talk to him and become friends - you're not going to lose anything after you'll gain a friend and some insight knowledge on how to achieve high. But ensure this friendship is more than just you competing with him because you can't bear the failure // People will see right past that.
Be genuine and keep working hard, after all, you must have your own standards and not be the perfectionist you are...its never going to end well if all you do is measure yourself against others. You are not them, and they are not you! I mean think about it, we could all moan about how we couldn't get to make an amazing company like Apple or Microsoft, we could moan about all the money that we don't have, despite working so hard. You HAVE to realise that life is unfair and that within that seemingly futile and worthless life, there is always hope of success.
Me comparing myself with another isn't helping me, but using that comparison to fuel self-determination is extremely helpful. You know what, he may seem like your enemy, and perhaps in your competitive adolescent eyes, he is. But if you approach him and interact with him in a friendly way, this will become a motivating rivalry. Maybe you feel you can't match his calibre, but the better thing to do is learn from him. Talk to him and become friends - you're not going to lose anything after you'll gain a friend and some insight knowledge on how to achieve high. But ensure this friendship is more than just you competing with him because you can't bear the failure // People will see right past that.
Be genuine and keep working hard, after all, you must have your own standards and not be the perfectionist you are...its never going to end well if all you do is measure yourself against others. You are not them, and they are not you! I mean think about it, we could all moan about how we couldn't get to make an amazing company like Apple or Microsoft, we could moan about all the money that we don't have, despite working so hard. You HAVE to realise that life is unfair and that within that seemingly futile and worthless life, there is always hope of success.
Original post by jade_oswell_89
Hello. I'm known to be a perfectionist, like a mental one as well. If I don't get the grade I want on a homework piece of an end of unit test I will literally have a mental breakdown in the school's bathroom. What makes it all worse is the fact is that I'm constantly competing against this other high-achiever in my class. He is getting higher grades than me and I'm getting sooo depressed to the point where I cry every single day before I go to bed and while I am on my way home. I study hard and everything, it's just that he's smarter.
Your way of approaching problems isn't a good one. Having a mental breakdown over not doing well won't help you do better. Obviously it's not easier to change your emotional stability but if you want to do better after GCSE then you'll have to learn to take bad grades and use them as a way to improve yourself.
No one (almost without exception) does perfect on every test throughout the year at A level and in the scheme of things the only ones that matter are the final exams (to a certain extent even those aren't too important). Having a rivalry can be helpful but if it is making you too emotionally distraught then it really isn't. Also, have you considered the rest of the class who are below the two of you? Are they having breakdowns about coming third, forth or even twentieth?
Original post by jade_oswell_89
Hello. I'm known to be a perfectionist, like a mental one as well. If I don't get the grade I want on a homework piece of an end of unit test I will literally have a mental breakdown in the school's bathroom. What makes it all worse is the fact is that I'm constantly competing against this other high-achiever in my class. He is getting higher grades than me and I'm getting sooo depressed to the point where I cry every single day before I go to bed and while I am on my way home. I study hard and everything, it's just that he's smarter.
There is no point of trying to be the best in the class or to beat a certain person. Yes, rivalry can be fun and can encourage both of you to up your game, but if you're crying over it, it's gone too far. Take a step back and think about what really matters. Why do you need those grades? Grades are important, but happiness and well-being should always be the priority.
Also, remember that there is more than one spot at the top. Just because this other person is doing well doesn't mean that you can't. Both of you can get A*s, get into Oxbridge/medicine/whatever you're aiming for and be successful.
I hate to say it OP but no one is perfect! there will always be someone better!
Original post by jade_oswell_89
Hello. I'm known to be a perfectionist, like a mental one as well. If I don't get the grade I want on a homework piece of an end of unit test I will literally have a mental breakdown in the school's bathroom. What makes it all worse is the fact is that I'm constantly competing against this other high-achiever in my class. He is getting higher grades than me and I'm getting sooo depressed to the point where I cry every single day before I go to bed and while I am on my way home. I study hard and everything, it's just that he's smarter.
Don't compare yourself to any one, be happy for his grades and just continue to work hard and revise well… If you don't get good grades think about how you revised and u can improve ur revision techniques.
Ask them to help you.
Why do you need the be better than everyone? You are getting like the 2nd highest grade in the class. Thats ****ing amazing. But, oh. No. You have to be the best.
Quick Reply
Latest
Trending
Last reply 5 hours ago
went from 3s to 9s with (literally) night before revision - ask me anythingGCSEs
57
Trending
Last reply 5 hours ago
went from 3s to 9s with (literally) night before revision - ask me anythingGCSEs
57
