Does social background restrict potential partner possibilities?

I come from a single parent household, and with a added difficulty, a parent who is medically unable to work - a fact that throughout school, I have always been rather ashamed of. Those living with both of their parents appear naturally much more confident than me. I guess that the additional love they receive at home as well as their parents being able to afford better clothes and more social clubs for them enables them to be more richly experienced and feel confident.

Realistically then, is ones choice of partner restricted by their social background?

Despite my relatively unfortunate start, I am at (a good RG) University and have good ambitions. I am also described as someone with a nice personality (my mild-moderate Aspergers gives me a very moral and 'likeable' persona). I do however continue to lack any real social confidence at University.

So I am just wondering, for both my self and personal situation, and more generally - Does social background restrict potential partner possibilities?

Yep

Original post by Lepidolite

Yep

How?

Reply 3

GreenBell

Not really. As long as you work hard then I don't see why there would be a problem.

Reply 4

username1544121

I think you'll be fine.

I believe nice people all deserve and will get far in life. Don't change yourself for others and stay blessed!

Reply 5

Anonymous #2

Yes it does, look at people in real life.

However if you're at a good uni you're not really lower class anymore so there's no need to be worried.

If you went to eton but dropped out and did some min wage crap (and family didn't give you money) the rest of your life you'd be lower class.

Reply 6

Anonymous #1

Original post by Anonymous

However if you're at a good uni you're not really lower class anymore so there's no need to be worried.

How does just attending a good Uni automatically alter your social class overnight?

Original post by Anonymous

Yes it does, look at people in real life

Please could you give examples?

Reply 7

Anonymous #2

Original post by Anonymous

How does just attending a good Uni automatically alter your social class overnight?

Please could you give examples?

I can't really post specific examples but everyone I know in real life generally has only dated within their class.

Walk around a poor area for a day and count the number of couples where one appears educated/rich and the other is "chavvy"/poor. You'll find almost none.

Same thing applies if you go into a rich area.

Surely at school it was immediately obvious (unless you were at a private/grammar school), the people who clearly came from rougher backgrounds generally weren't friends with the people from better backgrounds.

I don't see why you're worried if you're at a good university though, people look down on children of single mothers because a lot of the time the children don't turn out very well (which obviously isn't true in your case).

Reply 8

Anonymous #1

Suppose if you were a 'nice' person (kind personality, friendly, likeable etc.), however, just from a bit of a disadvantaged social background, can you still mix with nice people, including those from more affluent backgrounds?

I guess that a lot of people from my type of background will turn to bad things, so I am a bit of an anomaly in the sense that despite everything, I have a very strong work ethnic and 'lovely personality'.

Reply 9

Anonymous #1

Suppose if you were a 'nice' person (kind personality, friendly, likeable etc.), however, just from a bit of a disadvantaged social background, can you still mix with nice people, including those from more affluent backgrounds? Is it possible for them to like you (even just as friends) even though you are not from their background?

I guess that a lot of people from my type of background will turn to bad things, so I am a bit of an anomaly in the sense that despite everything, I have a very strong work ethnic and 'lovely personality'.

Reply 10

Anonymous #1

Suppose if you were a 'nice' person (kind personality, friendly, likeable etc.), however, just from a bit of a disadvantaged social background, can you still mix with nice people, including those from more affluent backgrounds? Is it possible for them to like you (even just as friends) even though you are not from their background?

I guess that a lot of people from my type of background will turn to bad things, so I am a bit of an anomaly in the sense that despite everything, I have a very strong work ethnic and 'lovely personality'.

Reply 11

elsy_grace

It definitely shouldn't, you should be judged as a person, not on your background. But unfortunately many do look down upon this, anyone who does isn't worth being in a relationship anyway. The right ones won't care about your background but your personality.

Reply 12

superserter1

I think it does. I'm working class and for a few years all of my peers have been quite middle class with some working class, and i've gotten on way more witht he working class people. it's how highly you hold it in your identity too. I find it hard to relate to middle class people as they don't have the same view of the world as me, but some people don't have that

Reply 13

Anonymous #3

Original post by Anonymous

~ Yes, I think so. I can tell you about a different situation to yours.

Was abused in every way during childhood from birth onwards. Had parents who remarried other people and a brother. My parents were very rich and had a great deal of career success. My real Dad is a millionaire, so is/was my Granddad (on the other side).

We lived in big detached houses. Felt completely alienated as repeatedly begged authorities to help me and was not removed from my home during childhood. My School, Social Services and eventually the Police were made aware - by me.

In adulthood I know most men whom I have been involved with would happily sell me down the river if it meant me getting back in touch with my abusive (rich) family if they saw the type of houses they live in for their own social leverage/financial gain. This makes relationships very difficult as can't relate to the lives of regular people. I have a Masters' degree but have also been homeless.

I have been estranged from my family for years. I would be terrified if my family knew where I lived, would have to leave the same day and stay in a hotel until finding somewhere else to rent as they could hire private investigators to see when I come and go. Could plant a small drone outside with infrared to see when I'm home alone and break in or send others to get me posing as cold callers/burglars or suchlike or set some form of trap. They have done these types of things to other people before now.

My relatives have threatened to rape me, kill me and lock me up (still alive) and could/would make me disappear if I made their lives difficult in any way.

They believe I am their property and anyone hearing this not of the same belief is wrong and their opinion is invalid. They are monsters. I won't really be free until they die off one day. Even on this account the year I put next to my username is not my real date of birth (despite posting anonymously) because I don't want this post or any like it about my upbringing to be personally identifiable.

I know if I ever have children I will not be able to post their pictures on social media and suchlike as my relatives would definitely stalk them until they are of an age to be on the computer unattended and then try to interact with them/meet them/obtain information from them about me.

It makes me look strange because regular people with ordinary lives cannot comprehend the things these people have done as society is obsessed with greed and status. If police pull up on the driveway of someone whose house is five times the size of theirs they tread carefully and speak upwardly to the occupants. If they turn up at a squalid bedsit, who cares about the carpet? (figuritively speaking) they talk down to the person.

It's like knowing everyone hates rich kids (especially with the inverted snobbery in the UK) and so you have been left to be abused for years and years and years and years. I have scars from my neck to my ankles and have had a completely strange upbringing nobody I've ever met can relate to. Nothing I do for myself now (excercising my own choices for instance) feels sincere because it doesn't inkeep with the totally warped way I was taught to live.

I am in a relationship and have been for years but when we lived together my other half did have times where he'd get drunk and rant about how frustrating it is/was that I'm not in touch with my family who could entertain him and help him pay for (at the time, our) rent and buy him furniture. This is partly why I moved out. People assume I'm being sensationalist. I can't change people's minds and make them see the truth, the lies, the manipulation and what these people have done to me and to others. I can only say I am an adult and this is my life and I will be selective about who is in it. Apologists and people too stupid to understand or whom encourage me to get back in touch with my family are banished from my life forever. Including a police officer and a previous CPN I had in a different city.