Can anyone else not feel feelings?

This is gonna sound weird but I go through phases where I can literally feel nothing at all.

E.g. I used to get really attracted to guys but I went through some bad experiences and now even if I think a guy is handsome, I'm just not really fussed about it. I don't trust people in the way I used to and can get super out of touch with my emotions I guess.

I would quite like to have a partner if I meet the right person but I don't know, there's people who I've found attractive but nowadays I feel like I can see straight through them and can't really get excited about them or something. I wish I could feel things like before. Anyone else get this?

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Reply 1

Anonymous #2

Sort of. I consider myself, in a sense, aromantic, as I do not feel attracted to specific people or feel that magical spark with anyone. If people want a relationship with me and I think they care and want me enough, I’m happen to try for them. People are just the same in a way; it’s not that I wouldn’t want a relationship, but I’m either extremely fussy or not fussy at all

Reply 2

Anonymous #1

Original post by Anonymous

Were you always like that? I think I'm now a lot more minded to let people prove themselves before I let my emotions get carried away.

I feel like I came out of almost being obsessed with this guy, and I realised how delusional I was to be so obsessed with this one person who wasn't that great. Now I can't really be attracted to people so easily. Even if I find them a little interesting, it's like I don't really feel it. It's really weird. Numbness maybe

Mmm

Original post by Anonymous

ded and emotional potato sounds like me too *high five*

Reply 5

Laissez‒faire

It is normal, I don't think you can ever love anyone as much your first love (not including parents/your own children later in life).

Original post by FriendlyPenguin

Sorry to hear that my man. :hugs:

nohomo

Sent from my Gameboy Advance

(edited 6 years ago)

Reply 6

Anonymous #1

Original post by FriendlyPenguin

Nah, I get you.

I used to be really emotionally numb for a few months after my mother died (why is there no anonymous function? I'm not turning on JavaScript for that).

Go see your GP, maybe. I didn't, but it might help (pills/supplements to help repair your neurotransmitters or whatever).

Or see a therapist. Again, I haven't, but it might be a sign of depression.

Edit: Oh, by "bad experiences" you meant bad dating experiences. I thought you meant actually bad life events. Ignore my advice then lol.

Sorry to hear about your mother, I guess sorry doesn't really cut it, but you know, that must have been hard.
Well I've cross compared my life to other people and definitely score highly in terms of bad life events. I suffered trauma, i won't go into it.
And anyway I do think that if someone manipulates you, messes with your head and breaks your heart it counts as a bad life event, definitely affected me a lot.
But yeah I see the psychiatrist and all of that, been doing Dialectical Behavioural Therapy for a while now, on antidepressant meds for so long I can't remember, and it is better now, comparatively better anyway, I just don't really know how to understand this feeling that comes over me. It's not like a new thing or anything, just like this weird detachment, feels so hollow

Reply 7

Darost98

I totally understand what you're feeling. If anyone understands why this happens it would be great to know

Posted from TSR Mobile

Reply 8

eden3

Yeah. They're called sociopaths/psychopaths.

Reply 9

Anonymous #1

Original post by Darost98

I totally understand what you're feeling. If anyone understands why this happens it would be great to know

Posted from TSR Mobile

"As human beings, when we face danger, there are three responses: fight, flight and freeze. When faced with extreme situation such as childhood abuse, trauma or grief, it is natural for our body and psyche to go into ‘numbing mode’ as part of a freezing response. However, sometimes such protective reflex remains for much longer after the actual danger has passed and becomes a way of life. This is when a person becomes emotionally detached, and experiences life in a ‘dissociated’, or ‘depersonalised’ way. At first glance, it may seem counterintuitive to think that emotional numbness can be a result of emotional intensity and sensitivity. Yet emotional numbing is often not a conscious choice; you may not even be aware of the pattern building up until it has become your ‘normal’ way of functioning. You may have developed emotional detachment as a protective shield because you have learned from an early experience that revealing the true extent of your intense feelings would lead to rejection, abandonment, or shame. It maybe from your authority figures or society pressure that you have learned in order to survive it is better to hide your intensity and sensitivity. Although the pattern started off as a way of protecting you from others, it can eventually morph into you hiding from yourself or denying your own needs altogether. This is especially likely when someone has experienced repeated wounding, emotional deprivation, or neglect."

Reply 10

Anonymous #1

Original post by eden3

Yeah. They're called sociopaths/psychopaths.

Nice reply, smart aleck.
Pretty ignorant though, you have to have a full list of qualities to be a sociopath or psychopath.

When i'm in this state I wouldn't even have the motivation to cause anyone pain.

Reply 11

Anonymous #3

Original post by eden3

Yeah. They're called sociopaths/psychopaths.

Why are you always so horrible to people

Reply 12

eden3

Original post by Anonymous

Thank you. :colondollar:

I never said you were one, you asked a question and I gave you a reply.

Reply 13

lmaooome

I’m pretty emotionless

Reply 14

Anonymous #2

Original post by Anonymous

Now I think about it, my realisation sort of came with a guy too. It was an online person, and I’m pretty sure, looking back, he was a psychopath or had a personality disorder. He made me feel wanted because he spoke to me about things that I felt were very personal (he was going through break ups and seemed to want my support) (while in reality he actually said this to loads of people) but he never actually cared about what I said. He always seemed to be “right” in conversations and I felt used in a way, because he abused the support I had to offer. That was probably when I started to realise that’s all I look for in a relationship, and although I thought I had a crush on him because of our closeness (which he clearly didn’t reciprocate) I fell for him pointlessly and got hurt.

I’m really sorry about your situation though. In a way, our stories might be a bit similar, but it’s no surprise you’re in a difficult position right now

Reply 15

AlevelsMakeMeSui

Yes. I try to live a life of efficiency, emotions are inefficient.

Reply 16

AlevelsMakeMeSui

Original post by FriendlyPenguin

But browsing the Relationships forum on TSR, now that is peak efficiency! :rolleyes:

I dont regard seeing if there are any other people who follow the same philosophy and their constraints inefficient.

Reply 17

Darost98

Those are no longer psychologically correct terms.

Posted from TSR Mobile

Reply 18

tamil fever

that always happens to me as well.

Reply 19

Anonymous #1

Original post by Laissez‒faire

It is normal, I don't think you can ever love anyone as much your first love (not including parents/your own children later in life).

Sent from my Gameboy Advance

Seriously? My first love told me he loved me but seemed to recover from it after a while. It was a lot harder for me.I think some people do get over their first loves, or find someone they think is better in some way, or better for them