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I don't know what to do...

I love what I'm studying. I hate studying it. I hate "university life". I love living alone. I hate my course.

Basically, I am studying Astrophysics at a top Russel group uni, which is great and I'm so proud of myself for getting to where I am and getting to study what I love, thing is I've been hating it. I'm in EVERYDAY 9-5pm and I'll usually only be home for around 6. I'll cook, eat, work and go to sleep. Weekends are another thing, I just actually slept all of Sunday because I was so sleep deprived all week... I have a test today on thermal physics, I haven't looked at the content...

That's another thing, work.. I have my own business and I make a lot of money, which is how I can afford to live alone, have my own car & pay my own bills. I LOVE my work and I love everything to do with my work. I make a very solid amount of money, more than both of my parents and if I took the time I put into uni and put it into my work, I could make so much more. I've never had the chance, I'm always so busy as I was just doing my A-levels, over summer I'm usually busy and I like to travel & etc.. Online business isn't exactly "reliable" and one day I'll make this amount, next day I make another amount but it's pretty stable and has been for the last 2 years, I just know it's not going to last forever, hence me attending uni.

Uni is going great in terms of my marks, I'm getting top marks for everything and my work is great. I love doing it when I'm doing it but I hate thinking about having to do it. The first two years of my course are actually not even focused on astrophysics and it's all just straight physics, which I thought I'd be fine with but I'm really starting to dislike it because the astronomy part is what I love about astrophysics and I really don't know if I'll be able to make it through the next two years.... I've just done as little amount of work as possible so far just to keep me going and keep my grades up because I hate doing any of it, I don't know why I just hate it. I wake up every morning thinking about dropping out but after the day is done I'm actually pretty satisfied and happy about uni and my course. It's so weird I know but I just don't adfkjhuls'fdasdf.

My parents are really proud of me, but before going to uni when I even mentioned taking a gap year out to work my mom was hugely disappointed that I even had the thought. She loves my work, but she really believes I could really benefit from a good education. Which don't get me wrong, I do too.

I know I'm in my first year (of four, masters..) and It's only going to get more intense and I'm going to have even less time, the thought of that just fills me with dread. I just want to focus on my work but I want to study ASTROPHYSICS too, I know I'll actually enjoy it when I get to the astronomy part but I just don't know if I'll be able to keep up with the workload... I just don't know what to do. I need some advice AHHH I just don't know I feel like I'm going insane. I just feel like it's too intense, it's too much work.. I'm always working whether it's uni or work work. Maybe I should look at part time studies? Any advice/suggestions for looking into that?
(edited 6 years ago)
Original post by idontknow9
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From reading this I think a few things are very clear. You are just at uni for the sake of it and as a back up option which is showing in your uni work and work life balance. I understand that keeping your parents happy is important but you need to be selfish sometimes and think of yourself. Being at uni for the sake of it is not doing anyone any favours. It's a waste of time effort and money. I would drop out at this stage if I were you. You can always come back to uni at a later point if you want/need to and may even change your mind about what you want to study. Your business is doing well from the sound of it and yes it is risky but some people only do this sort of thing for the rest of their lives and are fine. My experience with business extends as far as The Apprentice but if there's one thing I've learnt is that if you don't focus and give it your all it will flounder so that's the advice I would pass on. Good luck!
Original post by idontknow9
I love what I'm studying. I hate studying it. I hate "university life". I love living alone. I hate my course.

Basically, I am studying Astrophysics at a top Russel group uni, which is great and I'm so proud of myself for getting to where I am and getting to study what I love, thing is I've been hating it. I'm in EVERYDAY 9-5pm and I'll usually only be home for around 6. I'll cook, eat, work and go to sleep. Weekends are another thing, I just actually slept all of Sunday because I was so sleep deprived all week... I have a test today on thermal physics, I haven't looked at the content...

That's another thing, work.. I have my own business and I make a lot of money, which is how I can afford to live alone, have my own car & pay my own bills. I LOVE my work and I love everything to do with my work. I make a very solid amount of money, more than both of my parents and if I took the time I put into uni and put it into my work, I could make so much more. I've never had the chance, I'm always so busy as I was just doing my A-levels, over summer I'm usually busy and I like to travel & etc.. Online business isn't exactly "reliable" and one day I'll make this amount, next day I make another amount but it's pretty stable and has been for the last 2 years, I just know it's not going to last forever, hence me attending uni.

Uni is going great in terms of my marks, I'm getting top marks for everything and my work is great. I love doing it when I'm doing it but I hate thinking about having to do it. The first two years of my course are actually not even focused on astrophysics and it's all just straight physics, which I thought I'd be fine with but I'm really starting to dislike it because the astronomy part is what I love about astrophysics and I really don't know if I'll be able to make it through the next two years.... I've just done as little amount of work as possible so far just to keep me going and keep my grades up because I hate doing any of it, I don't know why I just hate it. I wake up every morning thinking about dropping out but after the day is done I'm actually pretty satisfied and happy about uni and my course. It's so weird I know but I just don't adfkjhuls'fdasdf.

My parents are really proud of me, but before going to uni when I even mentioned taking a gap year out to work my mom was hugely disappointed that I even had the thought. She loves my work, but she really believes I could really benefit from a good education. Which don't get me wrong, I do too.

I know I'm in my first year (of four, masters..) and It's only going to get more intense and I'm going to have even less time, the thought of that just fills me with dread. I just want to focus on my work but I want to study ASTROPHYSICS too, I know I'll actually enjoy it when I get to the astronomy part but I just don't know if I'll be able to keep up with the workload... I just don't know what to do. I need some advice AHHH I just don't know I feel like I'm going insane. I just feel like it's too intense, it's too much work.. I'm always working whether it's uni or work work. Maybe I should look at part time studies? Any advice/suggestions for looking into that?


I think it's fantastic that you have this job that you love, and have been managing to keep top marks in a difficult subject at a seemingly prestigious University...congratulations on that!

I don't want to advise you one way or another on this topic, but I thought I'd share some thoughts that I had upon reading your dilemma.

First year in physics can be a very dull "catch up" year. They need to get everyone on the same level, and you need to ensure you have the pure physics to deal with astrophysics. I would take a look at your modules for the upcoming years...how much include topics that you really love? How much are more astrophysics based? In our second and third year we get increasingly more specialized, which might make all the difference if you stick with going to Uni.

Question yourself--what do you love about astrophysics? I've done two summer research projects that sound great on paper--but the reality of astrophysics means that my day-to-day is a lot different than what comes to mind when reading the project titles. If you want to go into astrophysics for research--expect desk time programming things, meetings, only occasional observation time. There's more scope in industry to do more exciting things--if you want to stick to astrophysics, obviously the space industry offers so many different exciting thing--like working on orbital paths at ESA, NASA. If you want to explore something different, then what is that different thing? Is the degree necessary to do it? How could you incorporate your current job into that different degree path? Does your current job mesh at all with astrophysics?

Finally, working too hard--whether it's your job or physics--is going to make you hate some aspect of it. Physics is difficult to get yourself to gear up for (perhaps because you know how much time it will take, and you know how much of a responsbility it is, being beholden to grades, whereas your job sounds more creative). You need to either ease up on the job (if at all possible, money-wise), or the physics. You don't have balance right now; and it sounds like that's because you're stuck. What's your end goal? Is the astrophysics degree integral to your future plans? Do you want to end up working in that job for a long time, genuinely depending on it for your day-to-day living?

One way you could try things out, is to ease up on the job and use that time to immerse yourself more in uni life. Start up your social life again, catch up on those Z's, and see how you feel. During the summer--don't travel, just devote yourself to your job as if it really is your 24/7 responsibility. If at the end of the summer you love it as much as you do now, then I think you could drop out of the course before the next year starts. I think for right now, you don't know what you want--but at the same time you've never worked the job 24/7 and have only ever been able to see it as the fun thing you do on the side that earns you money (correct me if I'm wrong). Be sure you love it as much when you're doing it 100% before you drop everything to commit to it.

Good luck with everything!

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