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People thought I was gay.

Hi, so today someone told me that they thought I was gay. Their reasoning was my style by this they mean't I didn't wear tracksuits. They also said that I was effeminate and sensitive. They say that by the fact I wear a turtle neck jumper I'm gay, (its not cause I'm gay its cause my neck is cold.) I'm shy and struggle to make friends except I'm friends with this girl whom I've known since nursery (so these people look at me as the gay friend) I'm not gay (just getting over a huge 4 year crush on a girl) it's just I'm shy and a bit more sensitive than other guys. I'm worried that I'll find it hard to find a girlfriend if I come across as gay.

What can I do?

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tell them that you're not gay? people tend to assume automatically that if you're not a typical masculine guy, you're gay- it's a hard stereotype to banish.
Reply 2
Avatar for UWS
UWS
21
You must be in a class full of 7 year olds then.

You're gay? That's nice. You're not? Good for you.

Bottom line, stop caring what they think of you. Tell them you're not but it's not worth arguing over, they seem very immature.
Original post by entertainmyfaith
tell them that you're not gay? people tend to assume automatically that if you're not a typical masculine guy, you're gay- it's a hard stereotype to banish.


Thanks I don't know why this has hurt me so much.

I was told that wearing a polo neck jumper was 'queer' I didn't know this. It wasn't the reason I wore one, I wore one cause my neck was cold.
(edited 6 years ago)
Original post by UWS
You must be in a class full of 7 year olds then.

You're gay? That's nice. You're not? Good for you.

Bottom line, stop caring what they think of you. Tell them you're not but it's not worth arguing over, they seem very immature.


I'm in year 12 haha I know what you mean!
I really don't know why I have let this affect me so much haha
just learn to grow a thick skin- it'll help you a lot in life
Original post by Robin Tripp
Hi, so today someone told me that they thought I was gay. Their reasoning was my style by this they mean't I didn't wear tracksuits. They also said that I was effeminate and sensitive. They say that by the fact I wear a turtle neck jumper I'm gay, (its not cause I'm gay its cause my neck is cold.) I'm shy and struggle to make friends except I'm friends with this girl whom I've known since nursery (so these people look at me as the gay friend) I'm not gay (just getting over a huge 4 year crush on a girl) it's just I'm shy and a bit more sensitive than other guys. I'm worried that I'll find it hard to find a girlfriend if I come across as gay.

What can I do?


Sounds like they call anyone who isn't the stereotypical "alpha male" gay? Lmao, ignore them.
Original post by Robin Tripp
Thanks I don't know why this has hurt me so much.

I was told that wearing a polo neck jumper was 'queer' I didn't know this. It wasn't the reason I wore one, I wore one cause my neck was cold. In my opinion guys in skinny jeans are gay.


Right. So it upsets you that someone has an opinion about what you wear and thinks you are gay, but you don't mind having the opinion that guys in skinny jeans are gay?
Looks like you can dish it out but you can't take it. I have a gay son - he doesn't wear skinny jeans, he doesn't wear polo necks and he doesn't wear joggers either.
If you don't want people to make assumptions about you and generalise about you, then don't do it to other people.
Original post by Chaz254
Sounds like they call anyone who isn't the stereotypical "alpha male" gay? Lmao, ignore them.


I know ha ha. Me being gay is so far from the truth! I'm recovering from a massive crush on a girl
Reply 9
Avatar for Wisping
Wisping
6
Ignore them, move on. You know the truth so you can't be wrong. Its normal to feel offended, heck I'd probably give them a death glare if they said it to me. I guess its like whenever a girl hangs out with a boy, they automatically get assumed that they're going out. Best way I think is laughing at their comments, it gets them super confused :h:
Original post by entertainmyfaith
just learn to grow a thick skin- it'll help you a lot in life


Thanks! I will. I guess in life there is always someone trying to put you down and make you feel small, I only wish I knew how to stand up for myself.
Original post by Wisping
Ignore them, move on. You know the truth so you can't be wrong. Its normal to feel offended, heck I'd probably give them a death glare if they said it to me. I guess its like whenever a girl hangs out with a boy, they automatically get assumed that they're going out. Best way I think is laughing at their comments, it gets them super confused :h:


I suppose haha!
Original post by Seamus123
Right. So it upsets you that someone has an opinion about what you wear and thinks you are gay, but you don't mind having the opinion that guys in skinny jeans are gay?
Looks like you can dish it out but you can't take it. I have a gay son - he doesn't wear skinny jeans, he doesn't wear polo necks and he doesn't wear joggers either.
If you don't want people to make assumptions about you and generalise about you, then don't do it to other people.


I've never said it to anyone.
*bump
Reply 14
Avatar for 3121
3121
21
To be honest, I get the same thing a lot for pretty much the exact same reasons. Idk if I'm effeminate but I certainly dont ooze masculinity.

In some ways it's been a good thing because those b*tchy girls pay no attention and you dont waste anytime on them knowing full well they're out of your league, if those are the type of girls you want to attract then yikes you do have a problem. But Ive noticed the girls i do click with are kinder and more caring, so in a way my personality attracts what I like. Just be you :smile:
Original post by Zxyn
To be honest, I get the same thing a lot for pretty much the exact same reasons. Idk if I'm effeminate but I certainly dont ooze masculinity.

In some ways it's been a good thing because those b*tchy girls pay no attention and you dont waste anytime on them knowing full well they're out of your league, if those are the type of girls you want to attract then yikes you do have a problem. But Ive noticed the girls i do click with are kinder and more caring, so in a way my personality attracts what I like. Just be you :smile:


Thanks!
Stop caring.
Thank You to everyone who has left a comment!
My boyfriend is quite feminine, and all my mates joke he’s gay, so does his family. We don’t care to be honest. I’ve been with him for 2 years and 3 months.
He’s so caring and wouldn’t change him for anything! So just don’t care what they say 😊
Little minds have nothing else to think about so let them think as they like. You know what sort of person you are and sexuality is only part of YOU

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