29 and lost
I am completely lost in life.
I have been unemployed for years. I'm currently doing a masters in nuclear science which is by distance learning, but I don't enjoy it at all and have met no one on the course as it's not full time. I only signed up because the course is free.
I finished my undergrad in 2015 and got a first, but I have only been able to get minimum wage temp work for a few months here in Manchester. I have anxiety and have been too nervous to chase recruiters for jobs.
I apply to graduate schemes but I keep getting rejected.
I have never had a girlfriend. All of my friends have moved on and had babies or got married. They won't talk to me anymore. I am alone and the only people I speak to every day are my parents.
I sit in my room most of the time. I used to go for a run but I am even struggling to get motivation to do that. Sometimes I walk aimlessly around shopping centres.
I signed up to meetup a few months ago but I haven't had the confidence to go because people will ask me what I do for a living and I'm unemployed.
Basically I have no career, no job, no friends and no girlfriend. I'm also still a virgin because I have been isolated in my bedroom for so long. I am concious of my age and I feel like I'm running out of time.
Should I quit my masters, get a retail job and keep applying for things? I don't know how to turn this around.
I have been unemployed for years. I'm currently doing a masters in nuclear science which is by distance learning, but I don't enjoy it at all and have met no one on the course as it's not full time. I only signed up because the course is free.
I finished my undergrad in 2015 and got a first, but I have only been able to get minimum wage temp work for a few months here in Manchester. I have anxiety and have been too nervous to chase recruiters for jobs.
I apply to graduate schemes but I keep getting rejected.
I have never had a girlfriend. All of my friends have moved on and had babies or got married. They won't talk to me anymore. I am alone and the only people I speak to every day are my parents.
I sit in my room most of the time. I used to go for a run but I am even struggling to get motivation to do that. Sometimes I walk aimlessly around shopping centres.
I signed up to meetup a few months ago but I haven't had the confidence to go because people will ask me what I do for a living and I'm unemployed.
Basically I have no career, no job, no friends and no girlfriend. I'm also still a virgin because I have been isolated in my bedroom for so long. I am concious of my age and I feel like I'm running out of time.
Should I quit my masters, get a retail job and keep applying for things? I don't know how to turn this around.
Personally I would look at getting a basic job - whether that be in retail, food shop or whatever. That'd get you active and meeting new people - I met cool people on my job that I hang with now. If you don't enjoy nor are interested in the masters, I'd bin it personally as it has no use to you.
For the anxiety - it's a tough one because there's so many different scales on the spectrum for anxiety. If you do feel up for it, I'd suggest seeing your GP and seeing what they say. Anxiety/depression-related drugs can have their side effects too though. I use the Holland and Barret over the counter St John's Wort as I don't feel like I want to go down the route of prescription drugs, but seeing a doctor is usually the best way to go about it.
For the longer-term, what did you get your undergrad in and what would you like to do longer-term? You can start planning steps to work towards that and work on that outside of your main job. As mentioned, I'd start with something low level just so you feel like you're doing something, and then build some confidence to do other things. I know how stagnation can feel, I was in a similar position post-uni not so long ago. I also felt like life was passing me by a bit in my mid 20's (now), but life is long and 30 is still very young nowadays and you can work towards something better.
For the anxiety - it's a tough one because there's so many different scales on the spectrum for anxiety. If you do feel up for it, I'd suggest seeing your GP and seeing what they say. Anxiety/depression-related drugs can have their side effects too though. I use the Holland and Barret over the counter St John's Wort as I don't feel like I want to go down the route of prescription drugs, but seeing a doctor is usually the best way to go about it.
For the longer-term, what did you get your undergrad in and what would you like to do longer-term? You can start planning steps to work towards that and work on that outside of your main job. As mentioned, I'd start with something low level just so you feel like you're doing something, and then build some confidence to do other things. I know how stagnation can feel, I was in a similar position post-uni not so long ago. I also felt like life was passing me by a bit in my mid 20's (now), but life is long and 30 is still very young nowadays and you can work towards something better.
What do you hope to get out of the masters you doing and how long will it take for you to complete it?
My suggestion would be to stick the masters out and work part time, that way you will still be working and getting outside your house and meeting new people. The job could be anything, reception, retail, call centre etc.
For anxiety you should go to your GP and ask for a therapy. You can often get one for free and they can also prescribe you antidepressants, however, they do have side-effects and usually only help short-term.. I would therefore suggest you do something that you enjoy doing, like picking up a hobby. You have time to invest your time in hobbies
Good luck and always be happy in life. Just keep trying new things and keep your options open
My suggestion would be to stick the masters out and work part time, that way you will still be working and getting outside your house and meeting new people. The job could be anything, reception, retail, call centre etc.
For anxiety you should go to your GP and ask for a therapy. You can often get one for free and they can also prescribe you antidepressants, however, they do have side-effects and usually only help short-term.. I would therefore suggest you do something that you enjoy doing, like picking up a hobby. You have time to invest your time in hobbies
Good luck and always be happy in life. Just keep trying new things and keep your options open
Original post by cinderella25
What do you hope to get out of the masters you doing and how long will it take for you to complete it?
My suggestion would be to stick the masters out and work part time, that way you will still be working and getting outside your house and meeting new people. The job could be anything, reception, retail, call centre etc.
For anxiety you should go to your GP and ask for a therapy. You can often get one for free and they can also prescribe you antidepressants, however, they do have side-effects and usually only help short-term.. I would therefore suggest you do something that you enjoy doing, like picking up a hobby. You have time to invest your time in hobbies
Good luck and always be happy in life. Just keep trying new things and keep your options open
My suggestion would be to stick the masters out and work part time, that way you will still be working and getting outside your house and meeting new people. The job could be anything, reception, retail, call centre etc.
For anxiety you should go to your GP and ask for a therapy. You can often get one for free and they can also prescribe you antidepressants, however, they do have side-effects and usually only help short-term.. I would therefore suggest you do something that you enjoy doing, like picking up a hobby. You have time to invest your time in hobbies
Good luck and always be happy in life. Just keep trying new things and keep your options open
The course is MSc nuclear science and technology at Manchester. I applied to the degree to make me more employable, but look at the following passage from the nuclear recruitment website:
"Following an initial sift of applications successful applicants will be invited to complete online verbal, numerical and logical reasoning tests with a Situational Judgement Questionnaire followed by a video interview then a two-day assessment centre that will assess candidates across a range of competencies."
Basically, I could finish this masters after a lot of hard work and I will STILL have to apply for graduate schemes and the odds are I will be rejected. I've applied for so many graduate schemes over the past year or two and only got to interview at one of them.
I could potentially work part time whilst doing this degree, but it's a hard degree so my grade might suffer. I also worry that a masters will stereotype me especially if I want to go into other lines of work. Don't get me wrong, I do enjoy studying but it has to be worth something when I've finished.
Original post by del1rious
How much time left of your masters?
Seek medical help if you haven’t already for your anxiety, if left untreated for too long it can slip into depression- it sounds like this may have already started to happen.
Seek medical help if you haven’t already for your anxiety, if left untreated for too long it can slip into depression- it sounds like this may have already started to happen.
It's september 2017 to september 2018. I'm in the initial stages basically with four exams and four assignments due in January, then the same in June and then a dissertation / placement.
edit:
I also replied to cinderalla25s post but it's being approved by a moderator for some reason.
(edited 6 years ago)
Original post by Haroon002
u need islam
How about you just shove it–
Ah, just gtfo.
OP - look into anti anxiety drugs. You will still be miserable but you will probably be able to live a somewhat normal life.
Do you somehow have social media? Maybe you can be a bit social and talk to new people, join societies, clubs
Original post by Ciel.
How about you just shove it–
Ah, just gtfo.
OP - look into anti anxiety drugs. You will still be miserable but you will probably be able to live a somewhat normal life.
Ah, just gtfo.
OP - look into anti anxiety drugs. You will still be miserable but you will probably be able to live a somewhat normal life.
Yeah, I'm going to go back on citalopram or fluoxetine hopefully if the nurse agrees.
I found out today that I've got an interview for the graduate scheme at British Airways, which is something I should be happy about, but all I can think about is my anxiety. I can't do role play and I fail so bad at interviews. I keep remembering why I chose to isolate myself for so long.
why not work along side your masters? A part time job could do wonders for your confidence and self esteem, and the actual job itself doesn't have to matter. Having a routine, a purpose, having people rely on you.... all positives.There's plenty of great people who work in retail jobs, absolutely nothing wrong with them, I have met a lot of my friends through part time jobs. A lot of the still work in retail places full time, it's a great way of opening doors and meeting new people.
As for grad schemes, does anyone ever get the first one they apply for? It's something you should persevere with for sure, remember all the hard work it took you to get your degrees! I'm doing a masters now, so i know the work load is obscene haha.
Also, i would never judge your worth on other people around you! How do you know how happy they really are? Just because some people are having babies and married doesn't mean you have to be doing the same, life definitely isn't a race.
how boring would the world be if we all did the same thing??
As for grad schemes, does anyone ever get the first one they apply for? It's something you should persevere with for sure, remember all the hard work it took you to get your degrees! I'm doing a masters now, so i know the work load is obscene haha.
Also, i would never judge your worth on other people around you! How do you know how happy they really are? Just because some people are having babies and married doesn't mean you have to be doing the same, life definitely isn't a race.
how boring would the world be if we all did the same thing??
Original post by meep11
Yeah, I'm going to go back on citalopram or fluoxetine hopefully if the nurse agrees.
I found out today that I've got an interview for the graduate scheme at British Airways, which is something I should be happy about, but all I can think about is my anxiety. I can't do role play and I fail so bad at interviews. I keep remembering why I chose to isolate myself for so long.
I found out today that I've got an interview for the graduate scheme at British Airways, which is something I should be happy about, but all I can think about is my anxiety. I can't do role play and I fail so bad at interviews. I keep remembering why I chose to isolate myself for so long.
These are no anti anxiety drugs. They are antidepressants.
Look into benzodiazepines. If you can be responsible with them, you can take them long term, too, although convincing your GP will not be easy. You are probably better off seeing a private doctor.
(edited 6 years ago)
Having quit a bachelor's course (at Manchester actually) because it wasn't for me, I'd say if it is making you miserable then don't continue with the master's. It's so much work and from experience I know that putting a lot of work/effort into something your heart isn't in makes it so much more difficult. 
I have mild anxiety (didn't consider this about myself at the time) so this was probably having an impact too.
Good luck with the British Airways scheme. You never know, you might meet some great people there who make you feel at ease.
I'm currently feeling lost & job searching after graduating this year (still no luck) and live in the North West at the moment so you're not alone!
I have mild anxiety (didn't consider this about myself at the time) so this was probably having an impact too.Good luck with the British Airways scheme. You never know, you might meet some great people there who make you feel at ease.
I'm currently feeling lost & job searching after graduating this year (still no luck) and live in the North West at the moment so you're not alone!
I know you said a lot in your post, but the first thing I think you should do is start small, go for a jog! It's small but can leave your feeling great, bigger, better and that jog may lead you onto other things. The first step is to take one and bro if people ask what your doing, your studying to get your masters! That's such an achievement, be proud! Don't quit, keep going!
Bro if people ask what your doing, you don't even know to tell them but your studying for your masters and that is definitely something to speak about, something to be proud of! The first thing I would suggest out of all of the things you posted is to go for a run, start small and who knows where that jog will lead you. Get back to how you used to feel, you can do it. Don't quit, keep going. Take that step and go for a jog, the first step is to take one!
Can I suggest you look at volunteering. You don't have to give up much of your time, but volunteering 1 day a week will solve many of your issues. It will:
- Get you into something that has a high likelihood of acceptance.
- Get you out of the house.
- Put you in a situation where you're helping others = makes you feel great.
- Boost your feelings of self worth and confidence.
- Get you access to like minded people with which to make friends.
- Provide a low pressure environment.
There are LOADS of volunteering opportunities in Manchester (or anywhere in the county) especially with winter / Xmas coming up. See here for some:
https://do-it.org/opportunities/search?miles=3&lat=53.41667&lng=-2.25&location=Manchester&sort=distance&order=asc&page=1
- Get you into something that has a high likelihood of acceptance.
- Get you out of the house.
- Put you in a situation where you're helping others = makes you feel great.
- Boost your feelings of self worth and confidence.
- Get you access to like minded people with which to make friends.
- Provide a low pressure environment.
There are LOADS of volunteering opportunities in Manchester (or anywhere in the county) especially with winter / Xmas coming up. See here for some:
https://do-it.org/opportunities/search?miles=3&lat=53.41667&lng=-2.25&location=Manchester&sort=distance&order=asc&page=1
Original post by meep11
The course is MSc nuclear science and technology at Manchester. I applied to the degree to make me more employable, but look at the following passage from the nuclear recruitment website:
"Following an initial sift of applications successful applicants will be invited to complete online verbal, numerical and logical reasoning tests with a Situational Judgement Questionnaire followed by a video interview then a two-day assessment centre that will assess candidates across a range of competencies."
Basically, I could finish this masters after a lot of hard work and I will STILL have to apply for graduate schemes and the odds are I will be rejected. I've applied for so many graduate schemes over the past year or two and only got to interview at one of them.
I could potentially work part time whilst doing this degree, but it's a hard degree so my grade might suffer. I also worry that a masters will stereotype me especially if I want to go into other lines of work. Don't get me wrong, I do enjoy studying but it has to be worth something when I've finished.
"Following an initial sift of applications successful applicants will be invited to complete online verbal, numerical and logical reasoning tests with a Situational Judgement Questionnaire followed by a video interview then a two-day assessment centre that will assess candidates across a range of competencies."
Basically, I could finish this masters after a lot of hard work and I will STILL have to apply for graduate schemes and the odds are I will be rejected. I've applied for so many graduate schemes over the past year or two and only got to interview at one of them.
I could potentially work part time whilst doing this degree, but it's a hard degree so my grade might suffer. I also worry that a masters will stereotype me especially if I want to go into other lines of work. Don't get me wrong, I do enjoy studying but it has to be worth something when I've finished.
sorry for the late reply.
just like a bachelors degree a master degree doesn't guarantee you a job at the end of it, hence, you need to think if it's really worth doing it. at the end of the day any employer looks at relevant work experience.
instead of wasting your time and applying to graduate jobs why don't you apply to entry level jobs where you have a higher chance of being employed and then you can work your way up.
good luck
