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I told my friends I prefer my SO to them

I'm 19 years old and as soon as I got into a relationship, things felt 'different' and more awkward with my friends. It bothered me because I felt I was the same person as when I was single and I still wanted to meet up with them and have fun.

Anyway it's a very long story of being blocked by one of them and just generally feeling excluded, and we met up on Halloween and I said I preferred my boyfriend over them. I was in a bad mood and things just didn't feel the same with them. I got blocked again and one of their mothers texted me, telling me I was a horrible person.

It's sort of true that I prefer him - I can tell him anything at all and I never get the feeling I'm 'not wanted' when I'm around him whereas I do sometimes with my friends, but I really regret saying it, because I just want things to go back to normal with them, how things were when I was single.

Is there any way of coming back from this?
Probably not. A friendship group evolves quickly when one is missing
Why would they bother? You made your feelings clear
You’re caught up in the newness of a relationship but you need both
What are you going to do when it’s over?
Go to them individually and apologise profusely. They may forgive you, they may not If they don’t youd better make some new friends quickly!
Reply 2
Original post by Sammylou40
Probably not. A friendship group evolves quickly when one is missing
Why would they bother? You made your feelings clear
You’re caught up in the newness of a relationship but you need both
What are you going to do when it’s over?
Go to them individually and apologise profusely. They may forgive you, they may not If they don’t youd better make some new friends quickly!


Thank you, i will try talking to them, hopefully it works!
Reply 3
Obviously there are two sides to every story and this is just one but I do think
that was very childish of someone's mother to get involved. Parents should really stay out of their teenage kids drama and let them fight their own battles.

If you want to try fix things I would leave it a while before attempting to contact them as this will give people a chance to calm down. If you apologise to someone when they are still angry it is most likely (no matter how sincere) it will just get thrown back in your face. If you wait till they have calmed down they will probably be more forgiving. Just explain that you were having a bad day and took it out on them and you didn't mean what you said.
When I was 18 I had a fight with a friend then we didn't speak for months but eventually I decided to be the bigger person contact her to try and make amends. Had I contacted her the next day I know for a fact she would have ignored me or told me to eff off but because I waited till the heat of both our anger was gone we had both reached a point where we were willing to talk it over. We resolved it and are close friends again now. It's like the fight never happened.
I'm not saying wait months but give them a little bit of time to cool off before leaping in to try explain yourself.
(edited 6 years ago)
It can be difficult balancing friends with a boyfriend. I'm lucky in that most of my friends have full-time 9-5 jobs so we're all busy and don't have so much time to meet up anymore. Although when we do see each other it just feels like it always does. Bit sad that her mum is getting involved and texting you when I'm sure the girls in question can sit down and talk it out with you themselves.
(edited 6 years ago)
Reply 5
Original post by KatieB1995
Obviously there are two sides to every story and this is just one but I do think
that was very childish of someone's mother to get involved. Parents should really stay out of their teenage kids drama and let them fight their own battles.

If you want to try fix things I would leave it a while before attempting to contact them as this will give people a chance to calm down. If you apologise to someone when they are still angry it is most likely (no matter how sincere) it will just get thrown back in your face. If you wait till they have calmed down they will probably be more forgiving. Just explain that you were having a bad day and took it out on them and you didn't mean what you said.
When I was 18 I had a fight with a friend then we didn't speak for months but eventually I decided to be the bigger person contact her to try and make amends. Had I contacted her the next day I know for a fact she would have ignored me or told me to eff off but because I waited till the heat of both our anger was gone we had both reached a point where we were willing to talk it over. We resolved it and are close friends again now. It's like the fight never happened.
I'm not saying wait months but give them a little bit of time to cool off before leaping in to try explain yourself.

Good point. I feel like because it's coming up to Christmas, it'll make it easier to talk to them about it, I'm going away for two months so hopefully I'll bring myself to do it before then!
Reply 6
Original post by bones-mccoy
It can be difficult balancing friends with a boyfriend. I'm lucky in that most of my friends have full-time 9-5 jobs so we're all busy and don't have so much time to meet up anymore. Although when we do see each other it just feels like it always does. Bit sad that her mum is getting involved and texting you when I'm sure the girls in question can sit down and talk it out with you themselves.

You're right, it can be hard to have that balance - especially as I would find myself talking about my boyfriend a lot when I was around them; I suppose these issues comes with getting older

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