Student Challenges

Indeed, I could work part time whilst at University. But rather than overloading myself whilst I’m there given I’d need to be working sort of 20+ hours a week, it’s better to work now and be able to focus solely on my studies once I get there. ☺️

If you hate it perhaps consider a move? I know it is expensive, but are you willing to go through the years unhappy?

It's a long story. I tried to transfer twice, last year and this year, but it didn't work out very well. Alas, not everyone gets what they want in life.

What about you - What were your struggles?

Not everything works out the way you want. Having said that you never know what good can come out of you toughest moements.

My struggles involved money management and motivation to exceed in University. I had a year with accommodation issues and so on. I failed my first year and changed University. Failing that year brought out the best in me.

I'm glad it turned out the best for you. And I totally relate with the financial management and study motivation. I think I have learnt to accept my situation and just get on with the studying while making the most of my experience here, as much as I hate being here. There's no more I can do.

I like your mentality of just get on with it.

Why do you hate being there if I may ask?

Well I've been here for 2 years and a half now. Each year has shown improvement. The first year was the worst, the second year I had learnt to adapt myself a bit more but I was still struggling, and now this year I am much happier than before, but still struggling in some ways. The only reason why I think I'm more happier now is because I've developed a lot of more of my strength, maturity and resilience.

So at first, I was a bit naive. I dreamt of university being like how they show in the movies, freedom, maturity, independence, the excitement etc. But when I came here, it hit me hard because university life was a lot more tough than I had imagined, especially with struggling to make friends and find your own way through a 'big social world'.
Everything here is so different, the culture, the lifestyle, the people, the mentality. It makes me feel like I come from a completely different planet of people and this is why I struggled to find friends who I felt compatible with and I clicked really well with, which I did in the end, but they were only ever acquaintances and the real good friends were rare.
It felt like I was in a small world and being on campus made me feel like I was living in a bubble.
But what surprised me the most was the student culture. I don't want to be judgmental, but from what I've seen, it just seem to me a degraded culture. There is a lot of alcohol around, and all the time, I hear something happening or a dodgy story that happened to someone who I knew. Like they've been plenty of reported cases of accommodation vandalism on campus by drunk students in the middle of the night, students vomiting on the bus at 12am all over the floor, one of my friends was saying how he ended up in the bed of a complete stranger who he didn't even know and he lost all his valuable possessions from the night before, and I'm trying to sleep at 3am and all I hear is rowdy group of 20 students shouting and screaming on campus.
There's also a lot of drugs around on campus, if you walk across the campus between 6-12 in the evenings, boys in hoodies will hide their face and approach you and ask if you want to buy their cannabis.
Last year, there were wide spread rumours of prostitution on campus. But I think you're starting to get the general idea now? A lot of people who enjoy university are at the prime of their lives, with money to burn and parties to go to and a lot of friends, meanwhile all I do is worry about my studying and that I've fallen behind. It just makes me feel depressed, like I wanted to drop out and go back home. But as much as I wanted to, I could not. It would have been a huge waste of invested time and money, not to say the least - My family wouldn't have liked that I dropped out. Probably the only thing that keeps me going at university now is that I feel pressured by my family to return home with an outstanding grade. My parents have always pushed me to do well in my life, so I don't want to disappoint them. It was like this and by talking to close friend back home did I begin to build some resilience and motivation.

Thank you for being open and honest. I get the general idea now. University is not for everyone. Maybe it wasn't for you. Having said that, Universities are different. Some Universities can be the complete opposite of what you described. So there are a lot of variables here. To find like minded people you often have to change environments.

What I am impressed with is your resilience and motivation to continue in an environment uncomfortable to you. As I mentioned before, some of my worst experiences have brought my best lessons in life. Sometimes it takes months and years to realise that.
Perhaps you can teach people the lessons you learnt here, perhaps you can go on to do something with what you studied or maybe follow something else after University, the choice is yours. You have valuable life experience, a life story, now use it. Make sure you didn't go through this pain or struggle for nothing. Make sure despite not liking it, you didn't go to Uni for nothing. Get something out of it.

Well I do want to study of course, but this was never my dream university, so sometimes I think I regret coming here. I do see myself happier in other places, like you say - some universities are completely different, I would like to see some of them perhaps.


The bit in bold is something I pretty much agree with and I always remind myself of. I would hate to have wasted these few years of my life. I need to develop and change before it's too late.

You still can. If you finish this one you can do Postgrad or Masters maybe. Or perhaps a year out in another University. This is something you could suggest to your Uni tutor if you have one.

Yes I know, but the problem is - long-story short - I had to change course after a year here and so I had to do a fdn year before I could go onto my new degree, so that set me back my 2 years. I am supposed to be in year 3 now, but I am in year 1. I will have to wait to finish year 3 and then go somewhere else for masters, but thank you for the advice.