I went to uni for the wrong reasons

i cannot pay attention in lectures. im not interested in my course anymore! don't get me wrong i wanted to do physics, i believed i was passionate. i was motivated at the start, i brought loads of notebooks and got reading books from the library. but i can't do it....

eventually i realised it was a stupid decision. i know i dont want to use my degree, and i know i don't enjoy my degree. i had tunnel vision, i wanted to go to uni to move out and thats all i cared about.

And now i know im going to fail. Just study you say, stop being lazy...well how can i work for something i know i wont use in the future? A physics degree is no small feat...it takes dedication and passion and i have neither.

But honestly ive been dying to move out of home. i realised i should've got a job at 16 not bloody done a levels!

Can i stay at uni for this year...even though im doing f*** all. i will not go home. there is a certain person at home who has mentally abused me and you wont find me alive back home. i've already put up with this for years and years and its not a life worth living to me. But i love life so i wont dwell on it i just need to know what to do. my dads paying for my accomodation and i feel like i need to tell him the truth because we are still in contact. but im afraid he'll force me to come back home when tbf ive already paid 9 grand and my accomodation fees. my only other option in that case would be to move to cheaper accomodation so i can pay for myself i guess.

but lifes hard...i want to talk to my parents but im afraid at the same time. ive been waiting for this since i was about 13. i get anxiety picturing myself moving back home. i just want to stay here for a year, get a full time job and take a gap year next year rather than rushing and choosing a dumb course again. im writing to know if you think my plan is going to fail. i have savings so i could survive my gap year. Also im writing because i want to talk to someone, i want support.

I’m in a very similar position except I’m studying English. I can’t leave because I’ve used my “gift year” as a first year at another uni so if I left, I wouldn’t be able to get Student Finance to come back. All I can say is that if you have a different option and you’re that unhappy there, leave. I can’t stay in my uni house and my dad pays for it too, I do my best but I’m very lonely there and it’s not too far from home so I just come back.