Still a Virgin in your Twenties? Some Advice...

18, freshman year and a virgin. Dont know if this chat applies to me but still

just dropping in to say dont stress.

this was me and I obsessed about it for a while. I'm a girl, 23 now, virgin till 22. went through uni kissing hundreds of guys in clubs and occasionally ending up with them back in my room but being too freaked out by the apparent magnitude of 'losing it' that it never went beyond that.
kind of wish now that I'd just taken the plunge because my first time didn't mean anything in the end anyway, and that's really absolutely fine. met a guy in summer, hit it off, he was very keen, so I slept with him. it wasn't emotional, purely physical, and actually perfect for that exact reason. didn't get attached, just had some fun.

I started dating then because once i'd 'lost it' I felt way more comfortable going on dates without feeling like I had a secret. I met and fell in love with a guy a few months after that and had a wonderful (and way more fulfilling, if you know what I mean ladies) sexual relationship with him. for a while I wished he had been my first. now that we're broken up, I'm glad he wasn't. it would have been so much harder to deal with the break up if he was my *first*, but instead I feel more open to casual dating and sex with new people because I realise sex and love are two different things. And, I would never have even dated him if I was still a virgin!

so yeah, my advice, don't worry about waiting for 'the one', as long as you trust them and they're decent to you. even better in my opinion, I haven't seen him since and I don't have to be reminded of the awkwardness of it. of course it's nice to share the experience with someone you really care about but it's so rare for that to happen I think. and when you ultimately aren't with that person forever, it would be unbearable to move on and imagine sex with anyone else.

I wish this could happen to me tbh I'm 22 female now and still a virgin, I don't seem to hang around any guys so it's also a factor as to why I'm still a virgin. Came close but this guy just wanted to sleep around with everyone that whole week because he got out of a relationship, so I kind of didn't do it with him after that I'd kind of just kiss only a couple of guys from the club, but I've stopped because idk it just isn't the same as kissing someone you really like. I think there's too much stigma on losing it, but I wish I could just lose it without having to feel like I'll get attached or not feeling like my friends will judge me if it's someone I'm not in a relationship with. I think I want to lose it before I finish uni but I don't know how considering I live in a studio alone and I hang out with mostly girls, I get the impression that a lot of boys are not interested in speaking to me.

thought this was gonna be a post belittling 20+ virgins and telling them to go and get a social life but im impressed! well done!

Awww I know it feels. Ive never really had a lot of female friends (saying that, my best friend is female). My ex and I never did have sex (its a long sotry as to why), but I still feel like you really, just the other way around of course!)

Itll happen for us though - we'll get there! Id rather be in my position now than have a accidental child thats for sure (looking at the two extremes I guess)

Yeah I definitely need the courage and also I wish I knew who was interested in me it'd make it a lot easier haha 6 months left until I finish uni :/

Aww - I need more courage tbh too and same!

Im done with uni but dont rush into one just becuase youre worried about uni ending etc

What about those who are virigns in their 30's? @It's****ingWOODY

Not in my 30s, not a virgin (I think that's what you meant by "virigns" anyway). You must have meant to tag someone else, Sh**box?

Well I'm not worried about uni ending it's just I hate the stigma of being a virgin, and I shouldn't have to feel bad or feel like I'll be judged by my friends if I want to lose it to someone I'm not in a relationship with. I think girls have been taught from a young age that it's wrong to lose it to someone you don't love where boys aren't and unfortunately that has been drummed in my head for such a long time that I've always felt like I'd be a terrible person if I lost it to someone I don't love, which isn't the case, in only human. I do want a relationship tbh but I'm not so lucky.

Cool man! After being ready I took my first step. thanks for sharing.

Yeah Im worried about the stigma to to the point it might be a deal breaker for a girl, but at the same time, if she doesnt want to go out with me on that basis, she probably isnt worth it anyway. As said though, we'll be okay

as a virgin in my 30s this depresses the hell out of me