Girls, could you be with someone who has paid for sex?

Hi, I am 21 and within 2 years I paid for sex multiple times. First cam girls then escorts. I have been with about 20 escorts. I am ashamed of what I have done and I am seeking professional help. I used sex to cope with my mental health and other personal issues. I really hope that I can meet a woman one day and settle down. I know I have a lot of good in me and that I could be a great partner.*If your BF had paid for sex in there past and recognised that this is not ok, but clearly was a changed person, would you stick with them?*Thanks Gen

Reply 1

999tigger

19

Original post by Tek096

Hi, I am 21 and within 2 years I paid for sex multiple times. First cam girls then escorts. I have been with about 20 escorts. I am ashamed of what I have done and I am seeking professional help. I used sex to cope with my mental health and other personal issues. I really hope that I can meet a woman one day and settle down. I know I have a lot of good in me and that I could be a great partner.*If your BF had paid for sex in there past and recognised that this is not ok, but clearly was a changed person, would you stick with them?*Thanks Gen

I would keep it to yourself until you find someone you really trust and can talk to. A % of girls will not want anything to do with you if they found out and will not accept your mental health reasons. I wouldnt beat yourself up about it though.

Reply 2

Sliding

7

As a girl, I wouldn't really care for your past if you genuinely liked me and wanted to settle down. Personally I don't think negatively about paying for sex. I'm glad you've acknowledged that you shouldn't be using sex as a coping mechanism for your mental health and what's happened, happened. Don't dwell on it, look towards things to better yourself.

Yes.

I don't think it's wrong to pay for sex honestly. I'd only be mad if a guy was doing it at the same time as dating me! :tongue:

Hell no. I'd never.

Worry about getting yourself on the straight and narrow first. To a large extent it's not where you start, but where you finish that matters most. And not all of the past needs to be public by any means.

Reply 6

username3684166

OP

3

Thanks for all your thoughts

(edited 6 years ago)

Reply 7

username3684166

OP

3

Original post by Anonymous

Hell no. I'd never.

Thanks for your response, can I just ask why that is? If you really loved the person and they recognised they had done wrong, would this not be forgiveable?

Reply 8

ashaxo99

15

i wouldn't find that to be a problem at all. i'd rather a guy paid for sex in the past than manipulating a partner/random club girls etc. to sleep with them, which seems to be common nowadays. truthfully, i'd find it commendable if a guy was able to confide this about his past to me. plus, sex can be a pretty decent short-term coping mechanism. so anyone who wouldn't understand your deep reasonings for getting with escorts probably isn't someone you'd want to be around!

Reply 9

username3684166

OP

3

Original post by sinfonietta

Yes.

I don't think it's wrong to pay for sex honestly. I'd only be mad if a guy was doing it at the same time as dating me! :tongue:

Ok, thanks, means a lot to me to know there are girls out there who would accept stupid mistakes I have made in the past.
I have never cheated on anyone and realise that this would be a case of me still having the problem in a relationship. It would be a betrayl and failure of loyalty and failing to be a good partner.

Original post by Tek096

Ok, thanks, means a lot to me to know there are girls out there who would accept stupid mistakes I have made in the past.
I have never cheated on anyone and realise that this would be a case of me still having the problem in a relationship. It would be a betrayl and failure of loyalty and failing to be a good partner.

Don't worry about it. if a girl tries to guilt you for it she isn't the one for you.

Reply 11

username3684166

OP

3

Original post by 999tigger

I would keep it to yourself until you find someone you really trust and can talk to. A % of girls will not want anything to do with you if they found out and will not accept your mental health reasons. I wouldnt beat yourself up about it though.

Thanks. I am trying not to beat myself up. I regret it massively. But I have to stay positive and move forward and away from those mistakes.
It does worry me that some girls would not tolerate this at all. If someone has made a mistake and recognises that, is genuinely sorry and changed/changing...then can they not be forgiven? I guess it depends on how seriously immoral you view seeing prostitutes is. It is a thin line between paying for sex and some seriously terrible things. But from my experience it is hard for me to know if I did ever really do harm to others. I hope I did not. The fact that the line is blurry means it is an act to not engage in. But I was not thinking straight. I felt so doomed and isolated, so hateful and pulled to getting a high...an escape...morals were drowned out. Rationality too. Some people might not get this.
There were occassions where I sensed something was not right, so I said I was done and left. One lady was quite aggressive this one time...so I just left. Most of the escorts seemed to enjoy it...who knows if they did...I often talked to them about why they were in this line of work and what they thought of it. Most said they needed the money. There were times when some seemed high on drugs as well. It was a ****ed up time.I was always respectful...though the disrespectful nature of the act itself arguable nullifies the respect shown in the act. If I could turn back time and never do it I would.
I used a site called adultwork, the escorts in there are all age/ID checked and have reviews. I am not sure if that makes the act much better morally.
All I know is that I would forgive someone I love. I know that we all make mistakes. I know that life can be rough and we can get lost. But if someone cant forgive me then I have to live with that.

Reply 12

username3684166

OP

3

Original post by sinfonietta

Don't worry about it. if a girl tries to guilt you for it she isn't the one for you.

You are right

Reply 13

username2406123

16

I definitely wouldn't mind, I love punters. I need someone with a high sex drive, someone who'd appreciate mine, so if someone told me what you said in your op Id be excited and relieved. but our first date would be the clinic fa sho fa sho lol.

Original post by Tek096

Hi, I am 21 and within 2 years I paid for sex multiple times. First cam girls then escorts. I have been with about 20 escorts. I am ashamed of what I have done and I am seeking professional help. I used sex to cope with my mental health and other personal issues. I really hope that I can meet a woman one day and settle down. I know I have a lot of good in me and that I could be a great partner.*If your BF had paid for sex in there past and recognised that this is not ok, but clearly was a changed person, would you stick with them?*Thanks Gen

(edited 6 years ago)

Reply 14

username3684166

OP

3

Original post by ashaxo99

i wouldn't find that to be a problem at all. i'd rather a guy paid for sex in the past than manipulating a partner/random club girls etc. to sleep with them, which seems to be common nowadays. truthfully, i'd find it commendable if a guy was able to confide this about his past to me. plus, sex can be a pretty decent short-term coping mechanism. so anyone who wouldn't understand your deep reasonings for getting with escorts probably isn't someone you'd want to be around!

Thanks for the response. Yeah I think that too sometimes. It was meaningless sex just like so many have. I have never really done the one night stand drunk in a club n pick up thing. In that case there is manipulation and paying for sex there is none. I am not saying paying for sex is better.
And people are paying for a night out and this and that to get sex. From this view paying for sex is not so different from what is largely accepted.
I think that confiding in a partner like that is a good thing too. I think that is where a really deep bond could be made. Honesty is something I value so I would feel guilty if a serious partner was not at least a bit aware of my past issues.
I think I am realising that the right person for me will be able to understand and forgive. Someone kind and empathetic.

(edited 6 years ago)

Reply 15

username3684166

OP

3

Original post by Salt Queen

I definitely wouldn't mind, I love punters. I need someone with a high sex drive, someone who'd appreciate mine, so if someone told me what you said in your op Id be excited and relieved. but our first date would be the clinic fa sho fa sho lol.

Ok well I was not expecting that! Haha. But dont you think punters are taking advantage of vulnerable women, risking health, wasting money, and are weak/emotionally needy?

Reply 16

applesforme

15

there are women who expect that a man has done stuff like this...it wouldn't faze them at all. there are others who are completely against it. if a woman had worked as a prostitute could you forgive/see past that? the guilt seems to be really getting to you, maybe you could try volunteering with sex workers to help them get their life back to normal? just an idea.but maybe its best to just draw a line under the experience and move on. you weren't yourself when you were doing it and you have a lot of empathy, I dont see why it would be a problem to someone who really cares about you.

Reply 17

Anonymous #2

Original post by Zarek

Worry about getting yourself on the straight and narrow first. To a large extent it's not where you start, but where you finish that matters most. And not all of the past needs to be public by any means.

Thanks for your support

Reply 18

username2406123

16

Original post by Tek096

Ok well I was not expecting that! Haha. But dont you think punters are taking advantage of vulnerable women, risking health, wasting money, and are weak/emotionally needy?

Is that what you think of yourself because I don't think thatm firstly I dont think western world hookers and sex workers are vulnerable because despite trying circumstances they still had the choicem many other countries women do not have a choice or a legal system to protect them from being forced into sex work or trafficked. so yea. You approached willing women who consented I'd hope. And yea I definitely wouldn't mind a man with high libido are you joking? Lol you can pm me because like I have questions that you might wanna answer on private like what your disability is and if you approach streetwalkers, if you still do it, what you're into... :flutter: