I rejected a girl because she was fat and now I'm getting the hate.
Basically, long story short.
Couple of days ago a girl came up and asked me out. I spoke to her a couple of times and I never once realized she liked me or not.
Then out of nowhere she messages me and tells me she likes me. To avoid saying that I don't like her (I actually don't), I told her, that I don't like her in that way. She then went on saying that that's not true and left it off there.
Few minutes later, he best friend messages me, asking why I rejected her. I said the same to her, but she denied it. So I went, "she's not the shape I like". In honesty, she is quite overweight, and I'm sure she knows that herself. Then her best friend goes "I see."
The next day in school was normal and I didn't speak to her or any of her friends, then when I got home, I got crap ton of messages from random people saying that I'm mean and that I don't deserve a girlfriend and all of them seemed to have hate towards me because I rejected the girl simply because she was fat.
Turns out her best friend went around and told people what I said, and funnily enough, she (the one that asked me out) doesn't even recognize that what her friend did is wrong and states that I'm on the wrong end.
Do I deserve this hate? I tried to spare her feeling, but she provoked me.
Couple of days ago a girl came up and asked me out. I spoke to her a couple of times and I never once realized she liked me or not.
Then out of nowhere she messages me and tells me she likes me. To avoid saying that I don't like her (I actually don't), I told her, that I don't like her in that way. She then went on saying that that's not true and left it off there.
Few minutes later, he best friend messages me, asking why I rejected her. I said the same to her, but she denied it. So I went, "she's not the shape I like". In honesty, she is quite overweight, and I'm sure she knows that herself. Then her best friend goes "I see."
The next day in school was normal and I didn't speak to her or any of her friends, then when I got home, I got crap ton of messages from random people saying that I'm mean and that I don't deserve a girlfriend and all of them seemed to have hate towards me because I rejected the girl simply because she was fat.
Turns out her best friend went around and told people what I said, and funnily enough, she (the one that asked me out) doesn't even recognize that what her friend did is wrong and states that I'm on the wrong end.
Do I deserve this hate? I tried to spare her feeling, but she provoked me.
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Original post by Anonymous
Basically, long story short.
Couple of days ago a girl came up and asked me out. I spoke to her a couple of times and I never once realized she liked me or not.
Then out of nowhere she messages me and tells me she likes me. To avoid saying that I don't like her (I actually don't), I told her, that I don't like her in that way. She then went on saying that that's not true and left it off there.
Few minutes later, he best friend messages me, asking why I rejected her. I said the same to her, but she denied it. So I went, "she's not the shape I like". In honesty, she is quite overweight, and I'm sure she knows that herself. Then her best friend goes "I see."
The next day in school was normal and I didn't speak to her or any of her friends, then when I got home, I got crap ton of messages from random people saying that I'm mean and that I don't deserve a girlfriend and all of them seemed to have hate towards me because I rejected the girl simply because she was fat.
Turns out her best friend went around and told people what I said, and funnily enough, she (the one that asked me out) doesn't even recognize that what her friend did is wrong and states that I'm on the wrong end.
Do I deserve this hate? I tried to spare her feeling, but she provoked me.
Couple of days ago a girl came up and asked me out. I spoke to her a couple of times and I never once realized she liked me or not.
Then out of nowhere she messages me and tells me she likes me. To avoid saying that I don't like her (I actually don't), I told her, that I don't like her in that way. She then went on saying that that's not true and left it off there.
Few minutes later, he best friend messages me, asking why I rejected her. I said the same to her, but she denied it. So I went, "she's not the shape I like". In honesty, she is quite overweight, and I'm sure she knows that herself. Then her best friend goes "I see."
The next day in school was normal and I didn't speak to her or any of her friends, then when I got home, I got crap ton of messages from random people saying that I'm mean and that I don't deserve a girlfriend and all of them seemed to have hate towards me because I rejected the girl simply because she was fat.
Turns out her best friend went around and told people what I said, and funnily enough, she (the one that asked me out) doesn't even recognize that what her friend did is wrong and states that I'm on the wrong end.
Do I deserve this hate? I tried to spare her feeling, but she provoked me.
I sense strong white knights and politically correct baboons who are criticizing you.Everyone has a preference and you did the right thing.
You know what they say... an elephant never forgets
Maybe you could've been smoother about the reasons why you didn't like her. It was small minded of you to think that is a nice thing to say to a girl. Though, you can't be forced to be attracted to something you're not. Preferences are preferences and if you don't like big girls, they shouldn't force yourself to just to please themselves.
Original post by Anonymous
Basically, long story short.
Couple of days ago a girl came up and asked me out. I spoke to her a couple of times and I never once realized she liked me or not.
Then out of nowhere she messages me and tells me she likes me. To avoid saying that I don't like her (I actually don't), I told her, that I don't like her in that way. She then went on saying that that's not true and left it off there.
Few minutes later, he best friend messages me, asking why I rejected her. I said the same to her, but she denied it. So I went, "she's not the shape I like". In honesty, she is quite overweight, and I'm sure she knows that herself. Then her best friend goes "I see."
The next day in school was normal and I didn't speak to her or any of her friends, then when I got home, I got crap ton of messages from random people saying that I'm mean and that I don't deserve a girlfriend and all of them seemed to have hate towards me because I rejected the girl simply because she was fat.
Turns out her best friend went around and told people what I said, and funnily enough, she (the one that asked me out) doesn't even recognize that what her friend did is wrong and states that I'm on the wrong end.
Do I deserve this hate? I tried to spare her feeling, but she provoked me.
Couple of days ago a girl came up and asked me out. I spoke to her a couple of times and I never once realized she liked me or not.
Then out of nowhere she messages me and tells me she likes me. To avoid saying that I don't like her (I actually don't), I told her, that I don't like her in that way. She then went on saying that that's not true and left it off there.
Few minutes later, he best friend messages me, asking why I rejected her. I said the same to her, but she denied it. So I went, "she's not the shape I like". In honesty, she is quite overweight, and I'm sure she knows that herself. Then her best friend goes "I see."
The next day in school was normal and I didn't speak to her or any of her friends, then when I got home, I got crap ton of messages from random people saying that I'm mean and that I don't deserve a girlfriend and all of them seemed to have hate towards me because I rejected the girl simply because she was fat.
Turns out her best friend went around and told people what I said, and funnily enough, she (the one that asked me out) doesn't even recognize that what her friend did is wrong and states that I'm on the wrong end.
Do I deserve this hate? I tried to spare her feeling, but she provoked me.
I mean I think you could’ve maybe gone about it in a different way/refused to give a reason/came up with a different reason. I can see why it must hurt for her knowing that someone doesn’t like her because she’s overweight. However, it’s your preference, you have every right to it and you shouldn’t be getting hate from anyone.
I admire they way you handled it with the girl. But hopefully this serves as a reminder to not tell their best friend (out of all people) opinions on their friend 😩
You did nothing wrong and it will blow over.
You did nothing wrong and it will blow over.
Original post by Anonymous
Basically, long story short.
Couple of days ago a girl came up and asked me out. I spoke to her a couple of times and I never once realized she liked me or not.
Then out of nowhere she messages me and tells me she likes me. To avoid saying that I don't like her (I actually don't), I told her, that I don't like her in that way. She then went on saying that that's not true and left it off there.
Few minutes later, he best friend messages me, asking why I rejected her. I said the same to her, but she denied it. So I went, "she's not the shape I like". In honesty, she is quite overweight, and I'm sure she knows that herself. Then her best friend goes "I see."
The next day in school was normal and I didn't speak to her or any of her friends, then when I got home, I got crap ton of messages from random people saying that I'm mean and that I don't deserve a girlfriend and all of them seemed to have hate towards me because I rejected the girl simply because she was fat.
Turns out her best friend went around and told people what I said, and funnily enough, she (the one that asked me out) doesn't even recognize that what her friend did is wrong and states that I'm on the wrong end.
Do I deserve this hate? I tried to spare her feeling, but she provoked me.
Couple of days ago a girl came up and asked me out. I spoke to her a couple of times and I never once realized she liked me or not.
Then out of nowhere she messages me and tells me she likes me. To avoid saying that I don't like her (I actually don't), I told her, that I don't like her in that way. She then went on saying that that's not true and left it off there.
Few minutes later, he best friend messages me, asking why I rejected her. I said the same to her, but she denied it. So I went, "she's not the shape I like". In honesty, she is quite overweight, and I'm sure she knows that herself. Then her best friend goes "I see."
The next day in school was normal and I didn't speak to her or any of her friends, then when I got home, I got crap ton of messages from random people saying that I'm mean and that I don't deserve a girlfriend and all of them seemed to have hate towards me because I rejected the girl simply because she was fat.
Turns out her best friend went around and told people what I said, and funnily enough, she (the one that asked me out) doesn't even recognize that what her friend did is wrong and states that I'm on the wrong end.
Do I deserve this hate? I tried to spare her feeling, but she provoked me.
You did nothing wrong you did the right thing by telling her in a sublte way you are not interested. What I find ironic is some girls reject guys because they are "fat". What her best friend doing is just wrong and shows how Immature she is.
Original post by Gwilym101
You couldn't have just kept with the "I don't feel that way about her" line?
Honestly what you did was pretty dumb.
Honestly what you did was pretty dumb.
That's what I kept on telling her and then she went and kept on repeating the same thing "I know that's not true". She shut up after I said that bit
Original post by Anonymous
Basically, long story short.
Couple of days ago a girl came up and asked me out. I spoke to her a couple of times and I never once realized she liked me or not.
Then out of nowhere she messages me and tells me she likes me. To avoid saying that I don't like her (I actually don't), I told her, that I don't like her in that way. She then went on saying that that's not true and left it off there.
Few minutes later, he best friend messages me, asking why I rejected her. I said the same to her, but she denied it. So I went, "she's not the shape I like". In honesty, she is quite overweight, and I'm sure she knows that herself. Then her best friend goes "I see."
The next day in school was normal and I didn't speak to her or any of her friends, then when I got home, I got crap ton of messages from random people saying that I'm mean and that I don't deserve a girlfriend and all of them seemed to have hate towards me because I rejected the girl simply because she was fat.
Turns out her best friend went around and told people what I said, and funnily enough, she (the one that asked me out) doesn't even recognize that what her friend did is wrong and states that I'm on the wrong end.
Do I deserve this hate? I tried to spare her feeling, but she provoked me.
Couple of days ago a girl came up and asked me out. I spoke to her a couple of times and I never once realized she liked me or not.
Then out of nowhere she messages me and tells me she likes me. To avoid saying that I don't like her (I actually don't), I told her, that I don't like her in that way. She then went on saying that that's not true and left it off there.
Few minutes later, he best friend messages me, asking why I rejected her. I said the same to her, but she denied it. So I went, "she's not the shape I like". In honesty, she is quite overweight, and I'm sure she knows that herself. Then her best friend goes "I see."
The next day in school was normal and I didn't speak to her or any of her friends, then when I got home, I got crap ton of messages from random people saying that I'm mean and that I don't deserve a girlfriend and all of them seemed to have hate towards me because I rejected the girl simply because she was fat.
Turns out her best friend went around and told people what I said, and funnily enough, she (the one that asked me out) doesn't even recognize that what her friend did is wrong and states that I'm on the wrong end.
Do I deserve this hate? I tried to spare her feeling, but she provoked me.
I don't know if you actually rejected the girl because she's fat, or if you were looking for a way to explain why you just don't feel that way about her. Having a preference is fine, so long as you don't express that preference in a bad way by calling others fat or ugly or something like that. (just don't discriminate).
Clearly the girl is crazy, anyways. If you don't like her, you don't like her. Simple. She had to go out of her way to get what she wanted, which led to something that she didn't want to hear. And now she's playing victim. Her friend too, idk why she's so involved. HE'S NOT INTERESTED, SO DON'T TRY TO PUSH IT.
If you DID reject her for her size, that's not very nice, as you can come across as shallow, only judging by appearance. Maybe you should work on that. I still believe she's mostly in the wrong though, but you need to stop caring about only the outward appearance. Get to know her, maybe you have similar interests. If you don't feel it working out, tell her.
Best of luck
Original post by jimin's hoe
I don't know if you actually rejected the girl because she's fat, or if you were looking for a way to explain why you just don't feel that way about her. Having a preference is fine, so long as you don't express that preference in a bad way by calling others fat or ugly or something like that. (just don't discriminate).
Clearly the girl is crazy, anyways. If you don't like her, you don't like her. Simple. She had to go out of her way to get what she wanted, which led to something that she didn't want to hear. And now she's playing victim. Her friend too, idk why she's so involved. HE'S NOT INTERESTED, SO DON'T TRY TO PUSH IT.
If you DID reject her for her size, that's not very nice, as you can come across as shallow, only judging by appearance. Maybe you should work on that. I still believe she's mostly in the wrong though, but you need to stop caring about only the outward appearance. Get to know her, maybe you have similar interests. If you don't feel it working out, tell her.
Best of luck
Clearly the girl is crazy, anyways. If you don't like her, you don't like her. Simple. She had to go out of her way to get what she wanted, which led to something that she didn't want to hear. And now she's playing victim. Her friend too, idk why she's so involved. HE'S NOT INTERESTED, SO DON'T TRY TO PUSH IT.
If you DID reject her for her size, that's not very nice, as you can come across as shallow, only judging by appearance. Maybe you should work on that. I still believe she's mostly in the wrong though, but you need to stop caring about only the outward appearance. Get to know her, maybe you have similar interests. If you don't feel it working out, tell her.
Best of luck
I do talk to her, or at least I did before this happened. Plus I like another girl, and that girl I speak to more than her. but seeing as everyone knows this, I don't think i've got chance with her at all...
Original post by Anonymous
I do talk to her, or at least I did before this happened. Plus I like another girl, and that girl I speak to more than her. but seeing as everyone knows this, I don't think i've got chance with her at all...
Well crap then... I think you should explain what really happened to as many people as possible, especially the girl you like. It won’t change the fact that you called out her body type, but everyone is allowed to have preferences. It’s one of those life things. If they can’t accept it, then ignore them. The whole thing will eventually blow over anyways.
Of course its up to you what you find attractive. As a general rule I think it best to avoid hurting peoples feelings when you reject them and I would hardly say you were 'provoked' to lay this on the line. Just keep you head down be a bit more sensitive in the future and all will be well.
Her best friend is creating unnecessary drama. Ignore it, it will blow over. As for the rejection, the context behind it was reasonable - you're not attracted to girls on the larger side, which is absolutely fine. In all honesty, it appears you dodged a bullet by your description of her character - seems like she's playing the victim. Good on you, I think you were sensible in your decision.
Original post by Anonymous
Basically, long story short.
Couple of days ago a girl came up and asked me out. I spoke to her a couple of times and I never once realized she liked me or not.
Then out of nowhere she messages me and tells me she likes me. To avoid saying that I don't like her (I actually don't), I told her, that I don't like her in that way. She then went on saying that that's not true and left it off there.
Few minutes later, he best friend messages me, asking why I rejected her. I said the same to her, but she denied it. So I went, "she's not the shape I like". In honesty, she is quite overweight, and I'm sure she knows that herself. Then her best friend goes "I see."
The next day in school was normal and I didn't speak to her or any of her friends, then when I got home, I got crap ton of messages from random people saying that I'm mean and that I don't deserve a girlfriend and all of them seemed to have hate towards me because I rejected the girl simply because she was fat.
Turns out her best friend went around and told people what I said, and funnily enough, she (the one that asked me out) doesn't even recognize that what her friend did is wrong and states that I'm on the wrong end.
Do I deserve this hate? I tried to spare her feeling, but she provoked me.
Couple of days ago a girl came up and asked me out. I spoke to her a couple of times and I never once realized she liked me or not.
Then out of nowhere she messages me and tells me she likes me. To avoid saying that I don't like her (I actually don't), I told her, that I don't like her in that way. She then went on saying that that's not true and left it off there.
Few minutes later, he best friend messages me, asking why I rejected her. I said the same to her, but she denied it. So I went, "she's not the shape I like". In honesty, she is quite overweight, and I'm sure she knows that herself. Then her best friend goes "I see."
The next day in school was normal and I didn't speak to her or any of her friends, then when I got home, I got crap ton of messages from random people saying that I'm mean and that I don't deserve a girlfriend and all of them seemed to have hate towards me because I rejected the girl simply because she was fat.
Turns out her best friend went around and told people what I said, and funnily enough, she (the one that asked me out) doesn't even recognize that what her friend did is wrong and states that I'm on the wrong end.
Do I deserve this hate? I tried to spare her feeling, but she provoked me.
Well you could have spared the comment or ignored the messages but what you did isn't bad imo. If you're not attracyed to someone, what are you meant too do? Lie? Probably some Chinese whispers going on as to what you said but I reckon it'll all die down and pass
Original post by Anonymous
Basically, long story short.
Couple of days ago a girl came up and asked me out. I spoke to her a couple of times and I never once realized she liked me or not.
Then out of nowhere she messages me and tells me she likes me. To avoid saying that I don't like her (I actually don't), I told her, that I don't like her in that way. She then went on saying that that's not true and left it off there.
Few minutes later, he best friend messages me, asking why I rejected her. I said the same to her, but she denied it. So I went, "she's not the shape I like". In honesty, she is quite overweight, and I'm sure she knows that herself. Then her best friend goes "I see."
The next day in school was normal and I didn't speak to her or any of her friends, then when I got home, I got crap ton of messages from random people saying that I'm mean and that I don't deserve a girlfriend and all of them seemed to have hate towards me because I rejected the girl simply because she was fat.
Turns out her best friend went around and told people what I said, and funnily enough, she (the one that asked me out) doesn't even recognize that what her friend did is wrong and states that I'm on the wrong end.
Do I deserve this hate? I tried to spare her feeling, but she provoked me.
Couple of days ago a girl came up and asked me out. I spoke to her a couple of times and I never once realized she liked me or not.
Then out of nowhere she messages me and tells me she likes me. To avoid saying that I don't like her (I actually don't), I told her, that I don't like her in that way. She then went on saying that that's not true and left it off there.
Few minutes later, he best friend messages me, asking why I rejected her. I said the same to her, but she denied it. So I went, "she's not the shape I like". In honesty, she is quite overweight, and I'm sure she knows that herself. Then her best friend goes "I see."
The next day in school was normal and I didn't speak to her or any of her friends, then when I got home, I got crap ton of messages from random people saying that I'm mean and that I don't deserve a girlfriend and all of them seemed to have hate towards me because I rejected the girl simply because she was fat.
Turns out her best friend went around and told people what I said, and funnily enough, she (the one that asked me out) doesn't even recognize that what her friend did is wrong and states that I'm on the wrong end.
Do I deserve this hate? I tried to spare her feeling, but she provoked me.
You will get abuse- we now live in a society today full of snow flakes and I'm sorry if you can not make a decision without feeling bad due to being demonised by individuals or a group of people, then what have we come to.
It's your personal decision not the girls or her friends- the best thing I can advise you is to of course in a polite way tell her friends to keep out of it. You then explained to her best mate that you don't want to be with her because she is over-weight which is a fair comment and your own opinion, You may find that her friend will become butthurt about it and start giving you grief.
Oh I jumped the gun a bit with the previous passage- her friends have already started a decimation of character campaign against yourself- the best thing you can do to not escalate things is to ignore the hate messages or print screen them all and publicly put them on facebook on your own wall and just state that you are subject to a lot of abuse for not wanting to date or have a serious relationship with someone clinically morbidly obese, you never know you may get some allies and show all the messages then you expose the best friend for being a total snake and discussing private discussions with others. Fighting fire with fire is something i would do as i get angry very easy, but can cause your more hassle then you may anticipate, I can almost say with certainty the messages will be used as ammunition- bits will be added inaccurately and you will end up with a massive problem.
It is arrogant that she herself would not recognise that sending people nasty messages for not being interested is wrong, life goes on everyone gets rejected - she and her friends are trying to demonise you for a personal choice as i stated earlier, be careful in how you react to the hate your getting because if you are aggressive like I am (not the same issues) i get more hate for being aggressive.
If this is too long for you, Ignore it- take it on the chin. When the time is right if you want revenge show the world what a snake her best friend is by exposing you, when you send messages to a person it is a private discussion not a public announcement- You have been vilified for making a choice, you get it at all stages of life and it gets harder as you get older- not just in relationships- there are work place snakes who are on hand to try and get you in trouble again.
Original post by Anonymous
Basically, long story short.
Couple of days ago a girl came up and asked me out. I spoke to her a couple of times and I never once realized she liked me or not.
Then out of nowhere she messages me and tells me she likes me. To avoid saying that I don't like her (I actually don't), I told her, that I don't like her in that way. She then went on saying that that's not true and left it off there.
Few minutes later, he best friend messages me, asking why I rejected her. I said the same to her, but she denied it. So I went, "she's not the shape I like". In honesty, she is quite overweight, and I'm sure she knows that herself. Then her best friend goes "I see."
The next day in school was normal and I didn't speak to her or any of her friends, then when I got home, I got crap ton of messages from random people saying that I'm mean and that I don't deserve a girlfriend and all of them seemed to have hate towards me because I rejected the girl simply because she was fat.
Turns out her best friend went around and told people what I said, and funnily enough, she (the one that asked me out) doesn't even recognize that what her friend did is wrong and states that I'm on the wrong end.
Do I deserve this hate? I tried to spare her feeling, but she provoked me.
Couple of days ago a girl came up and asked me out. I spoke to her a couple of times and I never once realized she liked me or not.
Then out of nowhere she messages me and tells me she likes me. To avoid saying that I don't like her (I actually don't), I told her, that I don't like her in that way. She then went on saying that that's not true and left it off there.
Few minutes later, he best friend messages me, asking why I rejected her. I said the same to her, but she denied it. So I went, "she's not the shape I like". In honesty, she is quite overweight, and I'm sure she knows that herself. Then her best friend goes "I see."
The next day in school was normal and I didn't speak to her or any of her friends, then when I got home, I got crap ton of messages from random people saying that I'm mean and that I don't deserve a girlfriend and all of them seemed to have hate towards me because I rejected the girl simply because she was fat.
Turns out her best friend went around and told people what I said, and funnily enough, she (the one that asked me out) doesn't even recognize that what her friend did is wrong and states that I'm on the wrong end.
Do I deserve this hate? I tried to spare her feeling, but she provoked me.
Talk to a senior teacher in the school and hopefully they will sort it out.
If that doesn't work then talk to the head teacher.
Yeah, telling her friend that you don't like her that she's fat was never going to end well for you.
You don't deserve hate for not liking her because she's fat, but don't tell people about it, or this happens.
You don't deserve hate for not liking her because she's fat, but don't tell people about it, or this happens.
(edited 6 years ago)
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