woke up to find another student being incredibly weird, should I report it ?
Tuesday is a big student night in my city, so I went out with a couple of flatmates, at some point we met up with my flatmates boyfriend and his group of friends.
the group got seperated early one, so for most of the night it was just me, my flatmate, her boyfriend and a friend of his called "A".
I spoke to A through out the night, he was sort of hitting on me but nothing creepy or rude, I was just polite and showed normal level of interest in his stories.
I dont exactly remember but we agreed to a post night party at her boyfriends place. We got there drank abit more and I fell asleep on the sofa.
I woke up to find my heels taken off and "A" was touching my feet and smelling my feet. I was pretty freaked out and said what are you doing ? He said that I asked for a foot massage which doesnt sound like me.
It was around 6AM, so I got my stuff and left the apartment to go to my place.
I havnt mentioned the incident to anyone but its left me paranoid about what else he touched and going to other peoples place.
Should I report it to anyone ? the Uni ? my friend ? not sure what to do
the group got seperated early one, so for most of the night it was just me, my flatmate, her boyfriend and a friend of his called "A".
I spoke to A through out the night, he was sort of hitting on me but nothing creepy or rude, I was just polite and showed normal level of interest in his stories.
I dont exactly remember but we agreed to a post night party at her boyfriends place. We got there drank abit more and I fell asleep on the sofa.
I woke up to find my heels taken off and "A" was touching my feet and smelling my feet. I was pretty freaked out and said what are you doing ? He said that I asked for a foot massage which doesnt sound like me.
It was around 6AM, so I got my stuff and left the apartment to go to my place.
I havnt mentioned the incident to anyone but its left me paranoid about what else he touched and going to other peoples place.
Should I report it to anyone ? the Uni ? my friend ? not sure what to do
If he did this for the purpose of sexual excitement, without your consent, then he has committed a sexual assault. It might seem trivial but it could escalate over time. You could speak with a female police specialist and let them decide how to proceed or not.
it not necessary, just be carful with
Original post by Huw M Thomas
If he did this for the purpose of sexual excitement, without your consent, then he has committed a sexual assault. It might seem trivial but it could escalate over time. You could speak with a female police specialist and let them decide how to proceed or not.
Thanks.
The only thing is im pretty sure I wouldnt ask for a foot massage, but there is a 20% chance, I might have stretched my legs or something whilst asleep onto his lap and he might have taken that as a me saying yes ?
Im trying to think back to his reaction, when I woke up, I cant remember if he looked guilty or not.
He is in a different year and course to me and chances are I will never see him again, so part of me just wants to block this episode and never think about it again.
Lol that is pretty creepy haha. I mean, I'm very chilled about stuff so I personally wouldn't advise you to report it. I mean, it is hardly going to cause you any long-term damage. I think it's best to just forgive and forget minor stuff like that.
Up to you though.
Up to you though.
Original post by Anonymous
Lol that is pretty creepy haha. I mean, I'm very chilled about stuff so I personally wouldn't advise you to report it. I mean, it is hardly going to cause you any long-term damage. I think it's best to just forgive and forget minor stuff like that.
Up to you though.
Up to you though.
It was just really weird and unexpected lol.
Can I ask if your male/female and rough age ?
Original post by Anonymous
It was just really weird and unexpected lol.
Can I ask if your male/female and rough age ?
Can I ask if your male/female and rough age ?
I'm male, in my 20s.
The guy's actions were clearly very creepy.
But meh, I'm just laid back about such things, in cases like this where it's certainly "weird", but no long-term harm was done.
The problem with fetishes like this is if he can't find a consenting adult he may well go looking for children. The more he gets away with it the more confident he'll become.
Original post by Huw M Thomas
The problem with fetishes like this is if he can't find a consenting adult he may well go looking for children. The more he gets away with it the more confident he'll become.
Seems a pretty controversial statement!!
Original post by Anonymous
Seems a pretty controversial statement!!
You are the one who made the OP and gave the details with the closing statement "I havnt mentioned the incident to anyone but its left me paranoid about what else he touched and going to other peoples place".
Should I report it to anyone ? the Uni ? my friend ? not sure what to do".
I've given you an option and your reply was "I'll never see him again". My thought was about others that might see him again and where his fetish might lead.
I have a clear conscience now and if he were to do something in the future I would still have a clear conscience.
Original post by Huw M Thomas
You are the one who made the OP and gave the details with the closing statement "I havnt mentioned the incident to anyone but its left me paranoid about what else he touched and going to other peoples place".
Should I report it to anyone ? the Uni ? my friend ? not sure what to do".
I've given you an option and your reply was "I'll never see him again". My thought was about others that might see him again and where his fetish might lead.
I have a clear conscience now and if he were to do something in the future I would still have a clear conscience.
Should I report it to anyone ? the Uni ? my friend ? not sure what to do".
I've given you an option and your reply was "I'll never see him again". My thought was about others that might see him again and where his fetish might lead.
I have a clear conscience now and if he were to do something in the future I would still have a clear conscience.
you quoted and replied to someone other than the OP....
For crying out loud, let it go. Someone making you feel slightly uncomfortable is not a good reason to ruin their life.
If you have to ask whether you've been sexually assaulted then it did not happen. Move on. And don't fall asleep in random spaces.
If you have to ask whether you've been sexually assaulted then it did not happen. Move on. And don't fall asleep in random spaces.
Original post by ANM775
I don't think it's worth reporting tbh,
yeah it's "weird"
but sniffing someone's feet is not a crime..........
yeah it's "weird"
but sniffing someone's feet is not a crime..........
Yes, it is a crime AND depending on the context it can even amount to sexual harassment. But I do agree with you that it is not worth reporting.
Original post by Haviland-Tuf
Yes, it is a crime AND depending on the context it can even amount to sexual harassment. But I do agree with you that it is not worth reporting.
https://www.nbcmiami.com/news/local/Man-Accused-of-Sniffing-Feet-at-FIU-Makes-Court-Appearance-327928701.html
it's not a crime in america at least....
[I cannot find any UK references ..but would be surprised if it were a crime here]
Yes, you should report it. Better to be safe than sorry
Original post by ANM775
https://www.nbcmiami.com/news/local/Man-Accused-of-Sniffing-Feet-at-FIU-Makes-Court-Appearance-327928701.html
it's not a crime in america at least....
[I cannot find any UK references ..but would be surprised if it were a crime here]
it's not a crime in america at least....
[I cannot find any UK references ..but would be surprised if it were a crime here]
I have no idea what the actual legal position is, but it wouldn't surprise me if it was some sort of sexual crime, given that the guy is doing it for presumed sexual gratification, especially if he was physically touching OP's feet.
However, I still don't believe it should be reported. Best to cut people some slack (within reason), IMO.
You honestly think it's worth ruining someone's life over this?
Will you ever see him again? It obviously didn't traumatise you- just creeped you out. Understandably.
If you don't remember agreeing to a post-night party then how are you so confident in your ability to remember not agreeing to let him give you a foot massage. A lot of people do/say things that don't typically sound like them when they are drunk.
Understand I'm just playing Devil's advocate here as I see the argument that it's a fetish that could escalate if he doesn't understand why it's wrong to massage someone's feet non-consensually then it means he has no impulse control/empathy. But perhaps it was something he has never done before and woke up after drinking and felt silly? The implications of this are his whole life could be in the drain. Don't get me wrong, if he sexually assaulted you I wouldn't be saying this, but looking at it for what it is he literally just touched your feet.
Will you ever see him again? It obviously didn't traumatise you- just creeped you out. Understandably.
If you don't remember agreeing to a post-night party then how are you so confident in your ability to remember not agreeing to let him give you a foot massage. A lot of people do/say things that don't typically sound like them when they are drunk.
Understand I'm just playing Devil's advocate here as I see the argument that it's a fetish that could escalate if he doesn't understand why it's wrong to massage someone's feet non-consensually then it means he has no impulse control/empathy. But perhaps it was something he has never done before and woke up after drinking and felt silly? The implications of this are his whole life could be in the drain. Don't get me wrong, if he sexually assaulted you I wouldn't be saying this, but looking at it for what it is he literally just touched your feet.
Tbh you were drunk and have no witnesses so there's no point speaking to the police. I doubt the uni would do anything eitherwithout evidence. Might be worthmentioning it to your friend though as anyone with any self respect would ditch this guy asap. And certainly other people should be aware so they can keep themselves safe.
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