What do I do if I think I’m lesbian?

I know it’s silly, but I have been doing online tests to see if I’m lesbian. I guess I wanted them to say yes. They all said I’m lesbian. I’m quite young however so I think maybe I need to be older and explore sexually to know if I really am into girls. I fear if I am how will I tell people, and it doesn’t help a couple of my best friends are homophobic and think it’s gross. What do I do?

Reply 1

Heyy8765

Original post by Mendeley Desktop

If your not going to reply nicely and respectfully please don’t comment at all

(edited 6 years ago)

Reply 2

Gent2324

Careers Forum Helper

well you dont have very nice friends, and how old are you?

Reply 3

Mendeley Desktop

I'm bisexual (and female) but it sounds like I've had similar feelings to you. I've always felt more sexually attracted to girls and was aware of it from a very young age but still considered myself to be straight (I know it sounds strange, but having both liked girls and been treated as straight all my life, the two co-existed happily in my mind). I fancied guys and even fell in love with one. However, starting about a year ago and up until recently, I lost all sexual attraction to men and my romantic and sexual attraction to women grew greater, and I began to think I was completely gay and had just never realised it.

Since, I've realised that it's a lot more ambiguous than that - my preferences change (sometimes I'm more attracted to men, sometimes more to women, sometimes it's equal) but ultimately I'm capable of having both romantic and sexual attraction to both genders. I'm 18 now and it's only very recently that I've realised and accepted that I'm definitely bisexual.

You might find it's similar for you, or you might find that you are gay, or asexual. I know it's frustrating not knowing, but you can't rush to label yourself. Experiment, and as time goes on, you'll probably realise.

Also, if you ever want to talk about it, you can always message me

I know how confusing it can be.

Reply 4

Heyy8765

Original post by Gent2324

well you dont have very nice friends, and how old are you?

I’m in my teens

Reply 5

Gent2324

Careers Forum Helper

Original post by Heyy8765

I’m in my teens

early or late? it depends on if you've fully hit puberty to find out your sexuality

Reply 6

Heyy8765

Original post by Gent2324

early or late? it depends on if you've fully hit puberty to find out your sexuality

Mid and I have hit puberty

Reply 7

Heyy8765

Original post by Mendeley Desktop

I know how confusing it can be.

Thank you I found ur response very helpful, and I think I have been rushing to label myself, I think I will just see what happens and see where my sexuality leads me

Reply 8

Dunnig Kruger

Original post by Heyy8765

Do nothing.
You're under 16. So do nothing, sexually speaking, except masturbate.

Don't listen to any of your friends. Don't take any notice of stupid online tests. Take no notice of films, TV, Radio, magazines, newspapers.

Develop your own sexuality in your own good time when you're older. 18 is a reasonable time to start. At that age feel free to try men and women to see which you prefer.

And at the age of 18, be proud of yourself. You will be what you will be and stuff what anyone else thinks of your sexual tastes. This is the 21st century.

Reply 9

username3590460

I’m sure you know if you’re lesbian or not.

Reply 10

Heyy8765

Original post by FloralLuxe

I’m sure you know if you’re lesbian or not.

Good point but sometimes it’s not that simple

Reply 11

Heyy8765

Original post by Dunnig Kruger

Thank you I think I just need to stop thinking about it and just focus on now

Reply 12

Anonymous #1

It's really not simple. I only realised I was a lesbian when I was 17 after thinking I was pan (and before that straight). Dont bother telling people if they are homophobic, but also I'd cut people like that out of your life or at least distance yourself from them. When you get older there will definitely be people who will be accepting of you. College and Uni are 2 of the most accepting places (and I go to a catholic college, so that's saying something) obviously it depends where you live.
Dont listen to internet tests only you can really tell how you feel, but look into other experiences of lesbians and bi women. Like what makes you think you're attracted to women. Sometimes sexually doesn't matter at all. Could you be in a romantic relationship with one? What makes you think you're a lesbian?
For me I only realised when I realised that I couldn't see myself in a relationship with a man and definitely not sexually. I used to think I had crushes on men, but in reality these were usually people other friends of mine had crushes on or had dated before.
It's an internal thing, and if you do choose a label (which you don't need to, you can simply just say 'i like girls' for now) then dont feel upset if it changes either.
Another thing is if the reason you think you're a lesbian is just because you aren't attracted to boys or if it's because you're attracted to girls since being lesbian isn't a lack of attraction to men but a sole attraction to women.

Reply 13

Tootles

Original post by Heyy8765

So you trust an online test more than you do yourself? Oy a broch.

What do you think you are? And does it actually matter?

Reply 14

username2391309

I am male and I am Bisexual too.
Best of Both.
You can also enjoy being Bisexual as you can easily change from one to other as the occasion demands and you have a better choice.

(edited 6 years ago)

Reply 15

ParadoxSocks

Does it matter? Do you really need to know everything right now? Nobody ever really has it figured out, people who are absolutely 100% certain that they're gay/straight/bi/whatevs can suddenly realise that they're not. I was a super gay teenager and couldn't imagine being anything else, in my mid-twenties I stopped bothering with trying to work it out.

Things may change as you get older, they may not. There's no rulebook. You don't have to do anything at all or you can go and test the big LGBT+ waters if you want to. As long as your choices are safe, sane and consensual then everything else is fine.

And you'll be shocked how your friends' attitudes will change when they realise somebody close to them feels that way. It's usually fear or confusing or thinking of LGBT+ people as a group of others.