Date rejected me after SEX? SO SAD!
I have been texting this guy for the past 2 months, a mutual friend set us up. We planned a double date on Friday to go to a club with my friend and her boyfriend.
I got kind of drunk, and sort of wasn't being myself. I was nervous and was sort of acting uninterested at first because I have no experience in dating and have just came out of a 5 year relationship (6 months ago) . And because I wasn't sure what to chat about with him because we had talked SO much via text.
When we got home, I decided that he is kind of nice and I would see him again. And we had sex, he said to me that he liked me and thought I was 'lovely'. He told my friend this too the day afterwards. (oh and he also told my friend and her boyfriend that we had sex, which is kind of disrespectful)
Then the next day we briefly chatted and said it was a fun night. Then I asked what his plans were for NYE and got no response. My friend said I should maybe say sorry as I was kind of drunk at the club and maybe that was why.. So, I did and I said I was sort of nervous to him.
Then he replies saying that he thinks I am really nice, and nice to get to know me. but his head isn't in the right place for a relationship right now.
Like.. I am just kind of hurt as if I have been used. We were texting for 2 months and he seemed like such a great person, a lot in common.. He is 25, I am 21.
I feel so upset.
I got kind of drunk, and sort of wasn't being myself. I was nervous and was sort of acting uninterested at first because I have no experience in dating and have just came out of a 5 year relationship (6 months ago) . And because I wasn't sure what to chat about with him because we had talked SO much via text.
When we got home, I decided that he is kind of nice and I would see him again. And we had sex, he said to me that he liked me and thought I was 'lovely'. He told my friend this too the day afterwards. (oh and he also told my friend and her boyfriend that we had sex, which is kind of disrespectful)
Then the next day we briefly chatted and said it was a fun night. Then I asked what his plans were for NYE and got no response. My friend said I should maybe say sorry as I was kind of drunk at the club and maybe that was why.. So, I did and I said I was sort of nervous to him.
Then he replies saying that he thinks I am really nice, and nice to get to know me. but his head isn't in the right place for a relationship right now.
Like.. I am just kind of hurt as if I have been used. We were texting for 2 months and he seemed like such a great person, a lot in common.. He is 25, I am 21.
I feel so upset.
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Truthfully, I have no qualms wit him not feeling "ready" for a relationship but for him to have been texting over a period of 2 months and to not have given any indication of this is poor. Did he say he would like to continue being a friend? Is there any chance of a relationship in the near future?
I was in position recently, I noticed the girl was starting to feel a possible romantic attachment. Told her straight up that I was not actively seeking for a relationship but that I would like to get to know her further, develop a friendship etc. This was before we went out on a date. At 25 (which I am also), if he is not mature enough to empathize with one's feelings, don't think he is ready for a serious relationship. Good riddance.....on to the next one.
I was in position recently, I noticed the girl was starting to feel a possible romantic attachment. Told her straight up that I was not actively seeking for a relationship but that I would like to get to know her further, develop a friendship etc. This was before we went out on a date. At 25 (which I am also), if he is not mature enough to empathize with one's feelings, don't think he is ready for a serious relationship. Good riddance.....on to the next one.
Looks like he just really wanted to hit and quit it... There's a lot of guys out there who just want to be nice to get laid and don't want the commitment that comes along with it, it's sad. Girls go into relationships thinking this will be my last and guys go into it thinking this will be their first of many, generally speaking.
It's obvious this guy just wanted sex and is not completely the 'nice guy' you think because it's awfully convenient that this boy goes all distant after getting it. Tbh, ur better off without him. Underneath a lot of people can just be very selfish and ugly but they just hide it to get what they want.
It's obvious this guy just wanted sex and is not completely the 'nice guy' you think because it's awfully convenient that this boy goes all distant after getting it. Tbh, ur better off without him. Underneath a lot of people can just be very selfish and ugly but they just hide it to get what they want.
"Girls go into relationships thinking this will be my last and guys go into it thinking this will be their first of many, generally speaking."
Wow..... I think this is so true a lot of the time.
>OP - it really sucks that you and the guy had great texting for 2 mos but it turned into what it did. I'm not sure why any guy (or girl) would put so much time into texting and getting to know someone if they weren't of the mindset of a potential relationship. But, tbh, you said yourself you didn't act interested and didn't feel like you had much to say so you weren't being exactly kind to him either, initially, and after texting with him for 2 mos it would seem like you would have had an idea of whether or not you were interested before you went out. He might have felt you were playing some mind games.
You could give it a couple of weeks and reach out to him again if you'd like to and just strike up another casual conversation and hope things can build up again or you can use this as a lesson and move on from there. It is completely understandable why you feel sad. Also, whether we like it or not, most guys really don't like the girl who sleeps with them on the first date (not a universal truth of course) so hold back for a bit with the next guy even if you're super attracted to each other.
Good luck to you and I'm sorry this happened.
Wow..... I think this is so true a lot of the time.
>OP - it really sucks that you and the guy had great texting for 2 mos but it turned into what it did. I'm not sure why any guy (or girl) would put so much time into texting and getting to know someone if they weren't of the mindset of a potential relationship. But, tbh, you said yourself you didn't act interested and didn't feel like you had much to say so you weren't being exactly kind to him either, initially, and after texting with him for 2 mos it would seem like you would have had an idea of whether or not you were interested before you went out. He might have felt you were playing some mind games.
You could give it a couple of weeks and reach out to him again if you'd like to and just strike up another casual conversation and hope things can build up again or you can use this as a lesson and move on from there. It is completely understandable why you feel sad. Also, whether we like it or not, most guys really don't like the girl who sleeps with them on the first date (not a universal truth of course) so hold back for a bit with the next guy even if you're super attracted to each other.
Good luck to you and I'm sorry this happened.
Original post by Nottsstudent96
I have been texting this guy for the past 2 months, a mutual friend set us up. We planned a double date on Friday to go to a club with my friend and her boyfriend.
I got kind of drunk, and sort of wasn't being myself. I was nervous and was sort of acting uninterested at first because I have no experience in dating and have just came out of a 5 year relationship (6 months ago) . And because I wasn't sure what to chat about with him because we had talked SO much via text.
When we got home, I decided that he is kind of nice and I would see him again. And we had sex, he said to me that he liked me and thought I was 'lovely'. He told my friend this too the day afterwards. (oh and he also told my friend and her boyfriend that we had sex, which is kind of disrespectful)
Then the next day we briefly chatted and said it was a fun night. Then I asked what his plans were for NYE and got no response. My friend said I should maybe say sorry as I was kind of drunk at the club and maybe that was why.. So, I did and I said I was sort of nervous to him.
Then he replies saying that he thinks I am really nice, and nice to get to know me. but his head isn't in the right place for a relationship right now.
Like.. I am just kind of hurt as if I have been used. We were texting for 2 months and he seemed like such a great person, a lot in common.. He is 25, I am 21.
I feel so upset.
I got kind of drunk, and sort of wasn't being myself. I was nervous and was sort of acting uninterested at first because I have no experience in dating and have just came out of a 5 year relationship (6 months ago) . And because I wasn't sure what to chat about with him because we had talked SO much via text.
When we got home, I decided that he is kind of nice and I would see him again. And we had sex, he said to me that he liked me and thought I was 'lovely'. He told my friend this too the day afterwards. (oh and he also told my friend and her boyfriend that we had sex, which is kind of disrespectful)
Then the next day we briefly chatted and said it was a fun night. Then I asked what his plans were for NYE and got no response. My friend said I should maybe say sorry as I was kind of drunk at the club and maybe that was why.. So, I did and I said I was sort of nervous to him.
Then he replies saying that he thinks I am really nice, and nice to get to know me. but his head isn't in the right place for a relationship right now.
Like.. I am just kind of hurt as if I have been used. We were texting for 2 months and he seemed like such a great person, a lot in common.. He is 25, I am 21.
I feel so upset.
Omg! Come here, huggies
Some guys are just like this unfortunately. If he was mature, he’d let you know from the beginning he just wanted a casual thing and not lead you on for 2 months. It’s not a fair thing to do to someone, so don’t blame yourself!
My advice is to just cut this guy off, if he wanted to be with you he would be. I have no doubt he’ll text you in the near future being flirty and expecting sex but don’t fall for his crap.
Find an honest, non manipulative guy because as much as this guy is trying to be nice, what he did shows he’s trash.
My advice is to just cut this guy off, if he wanted to be with you he would be. I have no doubt he’ll text you in the near future being flirty and expecting sex but don’t fall for his crap.
Find an honest, non manipulative guy because as much as this guy is trying to be nice, what he did shows he’s trash.
Original post by Salt Queen
It's not funny 
OP I suggest REVENGE
Pretend to forgive him.
Then, Hook him up with a girl who has an std.
Problem solved
OP I suggest REVENGE
Pretend to forgive him.
Then, Hook him up with a girl who has an std.
Problem solved
Spoiler
You have a unhealthy obsession with getting revenge on people. I suggest therapy.
Original post by Nottsstudent96
I have been texting this guy for the past 2 months, a mutual friend set us up. We planned a double date on Friday to go to a club with my friend and her boyfriend.
I got kind of drunk, and sort of wasn't being myself. I was nervous and was sort of acting uninterested at first because I have no experience in dating and have just came out of a 5 year relationship (6 months ago) . And because I wasn't sure what to chat about with him because we had talked SO much via text.
When we got home, I decided that he is kind of nice and I would see him again. And we had sex, he said to me that he liked me and thought I was 'lovely'. He told my friend this too the day afterwards. (oh and he also told my friend and her boyfriend that we had sex, which is kind of disrespectful)
Then the next day we briefly chatted and said it was a fun night. Then I asked what his plans were for NYE and got no response. My friend said I should maybe say sorry as I was kind of drunk at the club and maybe that was why.. So, I did and I said I was sort of nervous to him.
Then he replies saying that he thinks I am really nice, and nice to get to know me. but his head isn't in the right place for a relationship right now.
Like.. I am just kind of hurt as if I have been used. We were texting for 2 months and he seemed like such a great person, a lot in common.. He is 25, I am 21.
I feel so upset.
I got kind of drunk, and sort of wasn't being myself. I was nervous and was sort of acting uninterested at first because I have no experience in dating and have just came out of a 5 year relationship (6 months ago) . And because I wasn't sure what to chat about with him because we had talked SO much via text.
When we got home, I decided that he is kind of nice and I would see him again. And we had sex, he said to me that he liked me and thought I was 'lovely'. He told my friend this too the day afterwards. (oh and he also told my friend and her boyfriend that we had sex, which is kind of disrespectful)
Then the next day we briefly chatted and said it was a fun night. Then I asked what his plans were for NYE and got no response. My friend said I should maybe say sorry as I was kind of drunk at the club and maybe that was why.. So, I did and I said I was sort of nervous to him.
Then he replies saying that he thinks I am really nice, and nice to get to know me. but his head isn't in the right place for a relationship right now.
Like.. I am just kind of hurt as if I have been used. We were texting for 2 months and he seemed like such a great person, a lot in common.. He is 25, I am 21.
I feel so upset.
It sounds like he was just using you for sex. You should just forget about him and move on. There are plenty of guys out there who are ready for a serious relationship.
Original post by Salt Queen
It's not funny
OP I suggest REVENGE
Pretend to forgive him.
Then, Hook him up with a girl who has an std.
Problem solved
OP I suggest REVENGE
Pretend to forgive him.
Then, Hook him up with a girl who has an std.
Problem solved
Spoiler
LOL you don't think it's funny because you're a girl. But it is funny for us guys, some of us who have been rejected by women for **** reasons like being "too nice".
Original post by hannah00
Whats the big deal ? You went on a date, you both had a good time but he didnt think it was worth a second date.
that is perfectly standard, to meet multiple people and then narrow your choices to who you want to actually date.
You had one date, I dont think he owes you anything.
that is perfectly standard, to meet multiple people and then narrow your choices to who you want to actually date.
You had one date, I dont think he owes you anything.
Are you actually a female saying that :/
No offense...but you're the type of girl who lowers mens standards and condoning this sort of behaviour and unhealthiness in relationships...
(edited 6 years ago)
Original post by Salt Queen
Are you actually a female saying that :/
No offense...but you're the type of girl who lowers mens standards and condoning this sort of behaviour and unhealthiness in relationships...
No offense...but you're the type of girl who lowers mens standards and condoning this sort of behaviour and unhealthiness in relationships...
Im just giving her the reality of dating so she doesnt have any disappointment in the future. She literally had 1 date with this guy and now feels "used" ? You can having amazing chemistry with someone over text or tinder but then when you meet in real life, it doesn't live up to it
Then you just drop a casual text saying, you dont see it going any further
They were never in a relationships so dont know how its unhealthy. Unless you have had the exclusive talk, your free to see other people.
Ugh ! This kind of stuff sucks doesn’t it ?
I think pondering and fretting and worrying about WHY someone behaved a certain way is counter productive. You’ll drive yourself insane trying to answer this question , I’m not even sure the bloke could answer that himself
Being rejected in ANY capacity is hurtful and sad but it is only a temporary feeling, it’ll pass. He obviously isn’t the right guy for you and isn’t worth wasting anymore time on - it shouldn’t be a measurement of your self worth
Good luck and chin up !
I think pondering and fretting and worrying about WHY someone behaved a certain way is counter productive. You’ll drive yourself insane trying to answer this question , I’m not even sure the bloke could answer that himself
Being rejected in ANY capacity is hurtful and sad but it is only a temporary feeling, it’ll pass. He obviously isn’t the right guy for you and isn’t worth wasting anymore time on - it shouldn’t be a measurement of your self worth
Good luck and chin up !
Girls I lash don't see me again....https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=H0FzIeHicxI 2:02 onwards 
Original post by hannah00 Im just giving her the reality of dating so she doesnt have any disappointment in the future.
She literally had 1 date with this guy and now feels "used" ? You can having amazing chemistry with someone over text or tinder but then when you meet in real life, it doesn't live up to it
Then you just drop a casual text saying, you dont see it going any further
They were never in a relationships so dont know how its unhealthy. Unless you have had the exclusive talk, your free to see other people.
Im just giving her the reality of dating so she doesnt have any disappointment in the future. She literally had 1 date with this guy and now feels "used" ? You can having amazing chemistry with someone over text or tinder but then when you meet in real life, it doesn't live up to it
Then you just drop a casual text saying, you dont see it going any further
They were never in a relationships so dont know how its unhealthy. Unless you have had the exclusive talk, your free to see other people.
So you agree with one night stands? Wow...conversation done
Original post by Salt Queen
So you agree with one night stands? Wow...conversation done
Between two consenting adults ???
Original post by appp1998
You have a unhealthy obsession with getting revenge on people. I suggest therapy.
Amen!
Original post by hannah00
Between two consenting adults ???
can't you just empathise with the girl...
Original post by trapking
Amen!
Stop it 😪
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