Forgive gfs past?

I found out my gf was flirting with a guy who had a gf a while back before me and her became an item and I'm not sure how to feel about it. She had some personal issues at the time and used him as a self esteem boost. They never had sex, but it was implied and pics were sent. She has been a great gf to me. Should I forgive her past. She was single at the time. I also believe that if I was in the same position as her I'd had done the same so I'm being a massive idiot for judging her I guess.

Reply 1

Anonymous #1

u shoud i figure out if it is the truth that ur gf did all this. if it is then tlk to her. i have been in the same situation but it was just a rumour and that caused a lot of prblems cuz my ex bfs action were just based on wht other ppl told him so tlk to her

Reply 2

KkSophie

5

Of course you should. You can't judge her just because she had someone before you; most of the time, your SO's prior life is something you know exists, and you learn to live with it. Plus, you've said you'd do the same if you were in her shoes; being judgemental would be hypocrisy.

Reply 3

Tootles

21

Original post by Matbon

I found out my gf was flirting with a guy who had a gf a while back before me and her became an item and I'm not sure how to feel about it. She had some personal issues at the time and used him as a self esteem boost. They never had sex, but it was implied and pics were sent. She has been a great gf to me. Should I forgive her past. She was single at the time. I also believe that if I was in the same position as her I'd had done the same so I'm being a massive idiot for judging her I guess.

It is, therefore, none of your business. It isn't your place to think about this, let alone feel it necessary to forgive her.

Reply 4

Dunnig Kruger

16

There's nothing to forgive here. She's done nothing wrong. Malbon is creating a problem where none exists.

Let's be positive, Malbon. Give us a list of all the things you like or love about her.

Reply 5

Matbon

OP

5

Thanks for the comments. I know I'm. Being a massive hypocrite. I'm very highly strung and I need to find a way to deal with it because it's causing me so much issues. Thank you for making it clear that im being irrational. I love everything about her.

Reply 6

Dunnig Kruger

16

Feel free to give us a list if "everything". Or to make up a list of everything in your head over the course of today.

Reply 7

Matbon

OP

5

Original post by Dunnig Kruger

There's nothing to forgive here. She's done nothing wrong. Malbon is creating a problem where none exists.

Let's be positive, Malbon. Give us a list of all the things you like or love about her.

Just to be clear do you believe she didnt for anything wrong in flirting with a guy who had a gf? Or that it shouldn't bother me because it's her past? Could you be in a relationship with someone that had cheated in the past? (She didn' cheat, it' just a question).

Reply 8

UWS

21

Forgive her for what? She didn't owe you anything when you weren't together. Deal with it.

Reply 9

Richard0328

19

everyone has a past and we all make mistakes as human beings. since she was not with you at the time, it has nothing to do with you so let it go. you cant judge people on who they once were so look at who she is now and decide whether or not she is worth being with based on that instead of irrelevant historical events which may or may not have happened

Reply 10

Perksy121

12

This is ridiculous, Your gf does not require your forgiveness! As has been said before, it happened before you two got together and therefore is none of your business.

It’s rather concerning that you feel you have the right to pass judgement over something she did in the past while she was single.

Original post by Matbon

I found out my gf was flirting with a guy who had a gf a while back before me and her became an item and I'm not sure how to feel about it. She had some personal issues at the time and used him as a self esteem boost. They never had sex, but it was implied and pics were sent. She has been a great gf to me. Should I forgive her past. She was single at the time. I also believe that if I was in the same position as her I'd had done the same so I'm being a massive idiot for judging her I guess.

Her past is none of your business tbh

Reply 12

Anonymous #2

no i see where you're coming from. it's snakey behaviour for her to go after a taken man and not respect his gf. flirting is one thing but sending pics is a bit unnecessary. if it was the guy that started it then i don't think it's that bad. ultimately it's not the worst thing in the world and i think you should let it go but i can see why you find it concerning as it could be a red flag for future behaviour in relationships.

Reply 13

Anonymous #3

People on TSR tend to look past everything. Forgive this, forgive that, it's all normal behaviour, you're being irrational, etc etc

No. There is perhaps nothing to 'forgive' here, since you weren't an item at the time, however those actions do speak a lot about her character. Up to you if that's the kind of girl you want to pursue and she hasn't changed.

Reply 14

Matbon

OP

5

Original post by Anonymous

People on TSR tend to look past everything. Forgive this, forgive that, it's all normal behaviour, you're being irrational, etc etc

No. There is perhaps nothing to 'forgive' here, since you weren't an item at the time, however those actions do speak a lot about her character. Up to you if that's the kind of girl you want to pursue and she hasn't changed.

It was him who started fliring with her first. She feels guilty and ashamed for doing it and when I found out about the flirting they' had before me (he was her coach so they still spoke although professionally) she cut all ties to him. Would this make a difference to you?

Reply 15

Nerry

15

shes not that into fella, stop being a cuck and move on

Reply 16

Matbon

OP

5

Original post by Nerry

shes not that into fella, stop being a cuck and move on

Sorry I don't understand move on from this issue or from her?

Reply 17

Nerry

15

Original post by Matbon

Sorry I don't understand move on from this issue or from her?

from her

Reply 18

username47781

20

This isn't even an issue, stop judging her past and be thankful for what you have got now.

Reply 19

Dunnig Kruger

16

Original post by Matbon

Just to be clear do you believe she didnt for anything wrong in flirting with a guy who had a gf? Or that it shouldn't bother me because it's her past? Could you be in a relationship with someone that had cheated in the past? (She didn' cheat, it' just a question).

That's a good question, about being with someone that's cheated in the past.

Yes, I'd have no problem whatsoever having a relationship with someone that's cheated in the past.

I could even, in the right circumstances, have a relationship with someone that's cheating on me now. It all depends. Nobody is perfect. It all depends on their balance of good points and bad points. To put it simply, if someone treated me like a prince when we were together but cheated on me, I'd be inclined to understand things from their point of view. If they treated me like dirt when we were together, I'd probably have dumped them by the time it got to the cheating stage and would, 100%, dump them as soon as any cheating came to light.

We are all entitled to grow up and make mistakes on the way. Flirting with a lad who already had a girlfriend is such a minor mistake / human thing to do that I wouldn't see it as a black mark against her.

Forgive gfs past?

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