Advice wanted - being ignored on fb messenger Watch

AmieJay
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#1
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Hey guys!
So I recently got out of a relationship and came back home to visit my friends and on a night out we bumped into some guys we’d known from about 5 years ago and hung out with them. One was really nice to me and kept saying what a great time he was having with my company and that he wanted to see me again and he messaged me that night saying the same stuff again.
We’ve been speaking on fb messenger and he’s quite slow to reply but now it’s been two days and he hasn’t even opened my message? I just don’t even know what to think because I did really get on with him and kinda thought something would happen before I leave to go back but I don’t know if I’ve read the signs wrong or what. It’s been a long time since I’ve been first talking to someone and it was nice to have someone that I found attractive and made me feel special after being in a pretty bad relationship for so long.
I’m at uni in Wales and home is the south west of England so it isn’t too far.

*update
5 years ago I had a bit of a thing with his friend where we’d go out and text constantly and kiss on nights out and he had a thing with my friend at the same time but that’s all in the past and so long ago it’s not really worth considering?

Sorry this is so long. Any input would be so helpful. My past relationship has kinda put me on edge and made me a bit needy so 🙃
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username3752444
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people send me messages on messenger and I know they're there but don't open them for up to a week, not for any specific reason but just because I can't be bothered. Maybe he's the same, or maybe hes busy or his phone is broken, there are so many reasons. Has he been active on messenger recently?


(Original post by AmieJay)
Hey guys!
So I recently got out of a relationship and came back home to visit my friends and on a night out we bumped into some guys we’d known from about 5 years ago and hung out with them. One was really nice to me and kept saying what a great time he was having with my company and that he wanted to see me again and he messaged me that night saying the same stuff again.
We’ve been speaking on fb messenger and he’s quite slow to reply but now it’s been two days and he hasn’t even opened my message? I just don’t even know what to think because I did really get on with him and kinda thought something would happen before I leave to go back but I don’t know if I’ve read the signs wrong or what. It’s been a long time since I’ve been first talking to someone and it was nice to have someone that I found attractive and made me feel special after being in a pretty bad relationship for so long.
I’m at uni in Wales and home is the south west of England so it isn’t too far.
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UWS
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Are you sure he's not a rebound?

Maybe he's busy, people don't always check their Facebook so you just need to wait. Probably get his number since it's easier to talk that way.
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AmieJay
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Yeah I was talking to my friends mum about it and she knows he works a lot and plays football etc but I’ve seen him active a few times on Facebook so I just feel like I’ve dine something wrong but I’m also just crazy so just want other people’s input to try and assess from different viewpoints!
And about not replying for a while, he knows I’m leaving in a couple weeks and he told me multiple times that he really wanted to see me before I left so then why wouldn’t he reply lol
(Original post by tali22)
people send me messages on messenger and I know they're there but don't open them for up to a week, not for any specific reason but just because I can't be bothered. Maybe he's the same, or maybe hes busy or his phone is broken, there are so many reasons. Has he been active on messenger recently?
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Arctic Kitten
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He probably does not care about you. You wouldn't reply "slow'' or neglect the text from someone you're interested in would you.
Or he is playing mental game. Or he probably never uses facebook/ doesn't have time. Except for the last one, I don't think he cares about you the same way you do.
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AmieJay
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Well no I’m not saying he cares about me, I spent one evening with him in 5 years lol. But he was the one to add me and start messaging me and repeatedly say he’d like to see me again when he could’ve easily not done any of that. We were in a group setting so he could’ve talked to anyone/talked to me without flirting etc
(Original post by Arctic Kitten)
He probably does not care about you. You wouldn't reply "slow'' or neglect the text from someone you're interested in would you.
Or he is playing mental game. Or he probably never uses facebook/ doesn't have time. Except for the last one, I don't think he cares about you the same way you do.
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username3752444
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its ok, theres probably a good reason for him not opening your message, you can message him again asking to meet up or just to say hey or let him come to you, either way don't worry x
also, when I'm busy sometimes I just read important messages for school etc and open others after


(Original post by AmieJay)
Yeah I was talking to my friends mum about it and she knows he works a lot and plays football etc but I’ve seen him active a few times on Facebook so I just feel like I’ve dine something wrong but I’m also just crazy so just want other people’s input to try and assess from different viewpoints!
And about not replying for a while, he knows I’m leaving in a couple weeks and he told me multiple times that he really wanted to see me before I left so then why wouldn’t he reply lol
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AmieJay
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I think a part of it is that it’s nice to have a distraction. We did talk about how recently I’d got out of my last relationship and he got dumped a while ago too and since I live so far I don’t think either of us is expecting much other than we got on really well (possibly better than I’d got on with my ex) as we have a similar sense of humour, mutual friends etc to connect us so I don’t understand the sudden disappearance as doesn’t take too long to reply. That being said since he started messaging me his messages have been quite long as have mine trying to reply to everything so maybe it is a bit tedious? I don’t know.
(Original post by UWS)
Are you sure he's not a rebound?

Maybe he's busy, people don't always check their Facebook so you just need to wait. Probably get his number since it's easier to talk that way.
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AmieJay
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Yeah I hope so I was thinking of messaging friday to ask him out the weekend with one of his friends and my friends as like a group thing/casual double date as they met the same night we did. Just didn’t want to be a needy loser 😂
(Original post by tali22)
its ok, theres probably a good reason for him not opening your message, you can message him again asking to meet up or just to say hey or let him come to you, either way don't worry x
also, when I'm busy sometimes I just read important messages for school etc and open others after
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username3752444
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(Original post by AmieJay)
Yeah I hope so I was thinking of messaging friday to ask him out the weekend with one of his friends and my friends as like a group thing/casual double date as they met the same night we did. Just didn’t want to be a needy loser 😂
thats great! hope everything goes well x
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gjd800
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(Original post by tali22)
people send me messages on messenger and I know they're there but don't open them for up to a week, not for any specific reason but just because I can't be bothered. Maybe he's the same, or maybe hes busy or his phone is broken, there are so many reasons. Has he been active on messenger recently?
Me too.
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Adz2042
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(Original post by AmieJay)
Hey guys!
So I recently got out of a relationship and came back home to visit my friends and on a night out we bumped into some guys we’d known from about 5 years ago and hung out with them. One was really nice to me and kept saying what a great time he was having with my company and that he wanted to see me again and he messaged me that night saying the same stuff again.
We’ve been speaking on fb messenger and he’s quite slow to reply but now it’s been two days and he hasn’t even opened my message? I just don’t even know what to think because I did really get on with him and kinda thought something would happen before I leave to go back but I don’t know if I’ve read the signs wrong or what. It’s been a long time since I’ve been first talking to someone and it was nice to have someone that I found attractive and made me feel special after being in a pretty bad relationship for so long.
I’m at uni in Wales and home is the south west of England so it isn’t too far.

*update
5 years ago I had a bit of a thing with his friend where we’d go out and text constantly and kiss on nights out and he had a thing with my friend at the same time but that’s all in the past and so long ago it’s not really worth considering?

Sorry this is so long. Any input would be so helpful. My past relationship has kinda put me on edge and made me a bit needy so 🙃
Hey Amie,
You sound like a fun loving girl.
Sorry to hear about your past relationship & the difficulties you had.
Browse his facebook page / social media page and check the comments. If any of his mates have commented, reach out to them and see if they have his number, to put you in touch.
Or just drop him another message but style it in a way that it's urgent but coy at the same time. EG: 'Hey (Name), I'm actually leaving this weekend, and I really enjoyed your company at the social gathering. Would you like to meet up on say Thursday at 2pm? x'
^ something like that.

Hope whatever happens, it goes well.
Also here if you need a chat
Adam x
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AmieJay
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He messaged and apologised for the late reply and asked me out 💃🏼 Thanks everyone!
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GreenBell
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(Original post by AmieJay)
He messaged and apologised for the late reply and asked me out 💃🏼 Thanks everyone!
Wow really? I was just about to say get over it and that he doesn't like you.

Well Good luck.
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AmieJay
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Well thanks for that vote of confidence after you knew otherwise 😂
(Original post by GreenBell)
Wow really? I was just about to say get over it and that he doesn't like you.

Well Good luck.
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GreenBell
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(Original post by AmieJay)
Well thanks for that vote of confidence after you knew otherwise 😂
I'm sorry It just proves you shouldn't listen to people in this website.
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johnibegood
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Glad it worked out for you this time, but handle him with a long handle spoon, he did it once, so it means that he can and probably will do it again. When a man is into you, he doesn't hesitate to respond to get you. Just remember that and be careful.
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Sataris
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(Original post by johnibegood)
Glad it worked out for you this time, but handle him with a long handle spoon, he did it once, so it means that he can and probably will do it again. When a man is into you, he doesn't hesitate to respond to get you. Just remember that and be careful.
FYI this thread is from January, but if I had been here I probably would've said he sounded like a ****boy
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Anonymous #1
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(Original post by AmieJay)
Well no I’m not saying he cares about me, I spent one evening with him in 5 years lol. But he was the one to add me and start messaging me and repeatedly say he’d like to see me again when he could’ve easily not done any of that. We were in a group setting so he could’ve talked to anyone/talked to me without flirting etc
Hi from past experience he probably has a girlfriend and is playing you both play it cool don't contact him if he's genuine he will mail you 😚
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Anonymous #2
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(Original post by AmieJay)
I think a part of it is that it’s nice to have a distraction. We did talk about how recently I’d got out of my last relationship and he got dumped a while ago too and since I live so far I don’t think either of us is expecting much other than we got on really well (possibly better than I’d got on with my ex) as we have a similar sense of humour, mutual friends etc to connect us so I don’t understand the sudden disappearance as doesn’t take too long to reply. That being said since he started messaging me his messages have been quite long as have mine trying to reply to everything so maybe it is a bit tedious? I don’t know.
Don’t let toxic people into your life just because you’re bored. Just a random saying I wanted to share.
If he can’t give a text back, he’s not worth your precious time. Just look at how much time you spent on tsr worrying about this.

OR
He is genuinely busy. In that case you should figure out if you are okay with not being a first or a 2nd or a 3rd or a 4th or a 5th priority. I don’t want to be mean but from looking at your thread you seem to be open to having a distraction which means you expect to talk to someone who gives you attention in the least.

I would suggest making sure there isn’t a rebound thing happening.
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