Why do women want gender equality in the workplace, but not in dating?

Think you missed the part where I said "they have no understanding of" but hey ho

You seem to have missed the point.

I understand that women have preferences, I didn't say they don't. They have every right to reject any man that asks her out.

What is unfair is that women are expecting equal treatment but only when it benefits them (i.e. in the workplace, but not dating). They are expecting men to ask them out, pay for things etc. but not taking their fair share.

This is what I don't understand about modern day feminism - is it fighting for equality, or preferential treatment for women?

Your post is a just a load of angry nonsense, rather than addressing the issues and having a debate about equal rights.

and whats being a virgin (or not) got to do with someone's experience of dating?

One of mates isnt a virgin, but has never been on a date - he's only ever had one night stands. Another has been on dates but is a virgin.

One has dating experience but no sexual and vice versa for the other, so I refer you to my question again.

Plus if you're so insecure in yourself, you have to call someone a virgin as a mild insult, just -

Well, this is the classic sort of made up anecdote that you think somehow invalidates my point. It doesn't. OP is obviously inexperienced, the fact that he even thinks gender inequality and the world of dating is comparable is just silly.

You seemed to have missed the point. This isnt a matter of "Rights" you silly entitled man.

We have a choice in who we date. And if an attractive woman holds the cards, she'd optimise that by getting the ideal person for her. You even got some stuff completely wrong. If you've ever gotten with a woman, you'd know that they are just as keen on pleasuring you. Same with emotional stuff, many women love open men.

You cannot tell anyone what they want and dont want. Preferences isnt something bitter men like you can dictate.

As others have said, all you want is a submissive woman you can control.

YOU are the one who's missed my point.

Maybe I'm giving the OP the benefit of the doubt, and when he says 'women,' he actually means 'feminists' - some of which do seem to want it both ways in everything. Or maybe he has had negative experiences himself, which has made him come to this pov.

I do give people the benfit of the doubt too much, I admit

Of course, every woman has her preferences, just like we do. - I would never dispute that. - That would be silly

Yes women have preferences. They would prefer an attractive man over an unattractive one. I don't get your point? The original post wasn't about that.

The point is that if true equality exists, women would do their fair share of asking men out who they like. They would always split the bill on dates, they would propose if they wanted to marry him etc. They would be happy to share this burden, rather than expecting the man to always do these things.

It's either equality in everything, or we go back to gender roles. You can't pick and choose a bit of both - that results in preferential treatment of women over men, which is fundamentally wrong.

Thanks, I find starting off with aggression/insult throwing very rarely achieves anything productive!

Yeah there’s definitely a much bigger burden on men to make the “first move”, it can be frustrating from both sides as no one is really communicating. There are girls crushing on guys who never know because “if he wanted to talk to you he would” and guys who don’t approach girls because they don’t know if she’s into them or not.

I agree that it gets better with age, unfortunately it’s still largely expected for men to initiate. Only reason I can think of is that it’s easier to wait for someone to make a move than it is to face rejection, so there aren’t a lot of girls putting themselves on the line.

Erm no, most woman would like gender equality and this "feminist" smear is a bit dumb too. So what?

Point is, OPs point is invalid, not only because most women arent hypocritical and obnoxious as OP suggests they are, but because the entire comparison is invalid.

So do you admit that OP saying things like "men are expected to accept rejection" is completely wrong and also sounds controlling and rapey?

This is what I don't understand about modern day feminism - is it fighting for equality, or preferential treatment for women?

I rest my case. I've already refuted your nonsense and you keep repeating it.

I recommend you get out and actually talk to women instead of crying online like a b*tch.

You didn't actually address the point of equal rights and gender equality in relation to this subject. You just got angry, called me a bitter virgin (which I'm not) and said that any guy who agrees with this must be ugly.

I'm willing to have a proper debate about this if you want.

Well If men are expected to deal with rejection then personally I think its about time women faced up to that possibility as well. Also from a male perspective I think men aren't so much concerned with rejection as everyone finding out. Women talk, and I think there needs to be a discussion on the gossip culture a lot of women have, a lot of the time its nothing short of humiliation when girls tell everyone they met they've turned down a guy.

A lot of women do share the power in relationships. The online dating scene is changing the flow too, especially sites like bumble where the woman messages first (SO many less creeps).

You’ve obviously had some bad experiences with dating or attempting too, but your experience isn’t reflective of the whole ‘dating experience’. I don’t know of anyone who expects or even wants the man to take care of everything. Of course there are girls like that out there, but in reality the majority of girls like more of a balanced relationship.

Completely agree with everything you’ve said there. And when a man breaks up with a women, men are ********s etc etc. But when women break up with men it’s ‘you go girl atttiude’ you don’t need him he’s a looser etc etc. Women are very strange creatures.

It’s totally dependent on the reason for the break up. If a woman finally breaks up with a man who has been constantly cheating on her then yes the ‘you go girl’ attitude is very fitting.
If a man breaks up with a woman because she’s put on weight after having his children or because his friends don’t like her then yes, he’s a *******

This is what I don't understand about the modern day gender equality/feminism movement. They want equality in some areas, but other areas they are happy for things to stay the same as long as they receive the benefit.

Women want equal treatment in the workplace with their male colleagues. They want equal pay (FWIW the gender pay gap is a myth - same job for same hours get paid the same, otherwise it's illegal), they don't want to experience sexual harassment in the workplace (what about all the false accusations which ruin men's careers?), they want the same opportunities men have, they want equal opportunities for promotion (despite many of them taking time off for maternity leave).

This is all fair enough. Except they don't want equality in dating. Men are still expected to:

- ask the woman out and face possible rejection (women might give subtle hints, but under no circumstances will they ask the man out - that is "his job"
- pay for the first date (and possible subsequent dates as well)
- propose to the woman
- treat her with meals/gifts
- hold open the door for her
- give up his coat if she's cold, so he can freeze (but never the other way around)
- put the majority of effort into sex (this is centered around pleasing the woman - the man's enjoyment is always assumed)
- be manly and dominant, never show any weak emotions, keep his problems bottled up because otherwise it's "unmanly"
- household chores must now be shared. Women no longer have to do all the cooking and cleaning, it's shared equally between men, because otherwise it's gender discrimination/oppression. Despite the fact men are still seen as the primary breadwinner in the household and a man without a job is a virtual disaster.


So back to the original question: Why do women want gender equality in the workplace (and indeed many other areas), but not in dating? I'm interested to hear to views of men, women and any feminists.