My mum facetimes me every night at uni
In first year she would call me most nights but I was often busy and sometimes I'd purposefully miss her calls which is kind of bad. She would also text me essays about random sh*t.
In second year I was less busy during the evenings so I was more available to answer calls. For christmas she got an iphone and that's when the facetime calls began.
I'm in third year now and she facetimes me every night. She has me on loud speaker and I can hear myself which puts me off, she also hasn't got the best hearing so I find myself having to raise my voice and repeat myself all the time. Also because it uses wifi, often the connection goes on and off so the conversation is really broken.
Every night it's the same conversation about uni, if i've bought any food, what I'm having for dinner. A lot of the time she won't even listen and she'll just zone out and say 'ok that's good'. I answer all of her calls just because I think 'what if she dies tonight and i never answered her call'. I wouldn't be able to live with myself. I can understand why she wants to check up on me and make sure I'm ok but having facetime with a partially deaf person is not enjoyable. I tell her I prefer to talk normally on the phone without facetime but she says she wants to see me.
I know I should be grateful that I at least have a mum who's alive and wants to speak to me every night, but sometimes it's kind of suffocating and when you speak every day especially when it's in the middle of exams so i haven't exactly got anything interesting to talk about, the conversations are kind of pointless. I've tried hinting to her and telling her that I'm busy doing work but then I just feel bad.
In second year I was less busy during the evenings so I was more available to answer calls. For christmas she got an iphone and that's when the facetime calls began.
I'm in third year now and she facetimes me every night. She has me on loud speaker and I can hear myself which puts me off, she also hasn't got the best hearing so I find myself having to raise my voice and repeat myself all the time. Also because it uses wifi, often the connection goes on and off so the conversation is really broken.
Every night it's the same conversation about uni, if i've bought any food, what I'm having for dinner. A lot of the time she won't even listen and she'll just zone out and say 'ok that's good'. I answer all of her calls just because I think 'what if she dies tonight and i never answered her call'. I wouldn't be able to live with myself. I can understand why she wants to check up on me and make sure I'm ok but having facetime with a partially deaf person is not enjoyable. I tell her I prefer to talk normally on the phone without facetime but she says she wants to see me.
I know I should be grateful that I at least have a mum who's alive and wants to speak to me every night, but sometimes it's kind of suffocating and when you speak every day especially when it's in the middle of exams so i haven't exactly got anything interesting to talk about, the conversations are kind of pointless. I've tried hinting to her and telling her that I'm busy doing work but then I just feel bad.
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Haha I fear this is going to happen to me when I depart for uni 
are you an only child? she loves you and many people would wish more than anything that their mom is calling in every night and checking how you are doing. you are extremely lucky
Original post by sadasdasfsfafg
are you an only child? she loves you and many people would wish more than anything that their mom is calling in every night and checking how you are doing. you are extremely lucky
In first year my brother was already at uni and I had just started so it was her first time with both of us away from home. So that made sense for her to call all the time. Although because she had both of us to call, the conversations would be shorter.
In second year my brother moved back home to live with my parents so she sees him every day. He's still living at home now I'm in third year.
Yeah I know I shouldn't take her for granted and I do appreciate it but sometimes it just gets a bit much and I find myself getting easily irritated and not enjoying the phone calls. I feel like if we talked once or twice a week we'd have more to talk about and I'd enjoy it more but she just wants to check up on me every day.
it seems like she misses you a lot. I think the next time you go and visit her you should talk with her about what your feeling and see if you can both have a compromise and have an organised time slot for when you call and face time?
be grateful your mum still cares about you.Haha ironically she didn't call me tonight. Didn't even text. Must be busy
Original post by Anonymous
Haha ironically she didn't call me tonight. Didn't even text. Must be busy
maybe she read it here.....
It is nice that your mom genuinely cares about what is going on with you while you're at uni.
My mum and had a similar conversation a few years ago. I think as we get older we become more 'peer' like to our parents. We are no longer the little child our parents had to physically take care of now that want a relationship on a different more friend like level. At least that is what my mum explained and that makes sense and works for us. I talk with her about more stuff than I though I would actually now.
You are lucky (you know). Maybe talk to your mum about calling three times a week. She shouldn't need to FaceTime you everyday especially if your texting her too. You love your mum so you don't want to disappoint her, I understand, so you talk to her but maybe you should suggest to her that you'll have more to talk about it you cut back on calling every single day - especially when it is a stressful study period.
My mum and had a similar conversation a few years ago. I think as we get older we become more 'peer' like to our parents. We are no longer the little child our parents had to physically take care of now that want a relationship on a different more friend like level. At least that is what my mum explained and that makes sense and works for us. I talk with her about more stuff than I though I would actually now.
You are lucky (you know). Maybe talk to your mum about calling three times a week. She shouldn't need to FaceTime you everyday especially if your texting her too. You love your mum so you don't want to disappoint her, I understand, so you talk to her but maybe you should suggest to her that you'll have more to talk about it you cut back on calling every single day - especially when it is a stressful study period.
It is nice that your mum genuinely cares about what is going on with you while you're at uni.
My mum and had a similar conversation a few years ago. I think as we get older we become more 'peer' like to our parents. We are no longer the little child our parents had to physically take care of now that want a relationship on a different more friend like level. At least that is what my mum explained and that makes sense and works for us. I talk with her about more stuff than I though I would actually now.
You are lucky (you know). Maybe talk to your mum about calling three times a week. She shouldn't need to FaceTime you everyday especially if your texting her too. You love your mum so you don't want to disappoint her, I understand, so you talk to her but maybe you should suggest to her that you'll have more to talk about it you cut back on calling every single day - especially when it is a stressful study period.
My mum and had a similar conversation a few years ago. I think as we get older we become more 'peer' like to our parents. We are no longer the little child our parents had to physically take care of now that want a relationship on a different more friend like level. At least that is what my mum explained and that makes sense and works for us. I talk with her about more stuff than I though I would actually now.
You are lucky (you know). Maybe talk to your mum about calling three times a week. She shouldn't need to FaceTime you everyday especially if your texting her too. You love your mum so you don't want to disappoint her, I understand, so you talk to her but maybe you should suggest to her that you'll have more to talk about it you cut back on calling every single day - especially when it is a stressful study period.
Original post by Anonymous
In first year she would call me most nights but I was often busy and sometimes I'd purposefully miss her calls which is kind of bad. She would also text me essays about random sh*t.
In second year I was less busy during the evenings so I was more available to answer calls. For christmas she got an iphone and that's when the facetime calls began.
I'm in third year now and she facetimes me every night. She has me on loud speaker and I can hear myself which puts me off, she also hasn't got the best hearing so I find myself having to raise my voice and repeat myself all the time. Also because it uses wifi, often the connection goes on and off so the conversation is really broken.
Every night it's the same conversation about uni, if i've bought any food, what I'm having for dinner. A lot of the time she won't even listen and she'll just zone out and say 'ok that's good'. I answer all of her calls just because I think 'what if she dies tonight and i never answered her call'. I wouldn't be able to live with myself. I can understand why she wants to check up on me and make sure I'm ok but having facetime with a partially deaf person is not enjoyable. I tell her I prefer to talk normally on the phone without facetime but she says she wants to see me.
I know I should be grateful that I at least have a mum who's alive and wants to speak to me every night, but sometimes it's kind of suffocating and when you speak every day especially when it's in the middle of exams so i haven't exactly got anything interesting to talk about, the conversations are kind of pointless. I've tried hinting to her and telling her that I'm busy doing work but then I just feel bad.
In second year I was less busy during the evenings so I was more available to answer calls. For christmas she got an iphone and that's when the facetime calls began.
I'm in third year now and she facetimes me every night. She has me on loud speaker and I can hear myself which puts me off, she also hasn't got the best hearing so I find myself having to raise my voice and repeat myself all the time. Also because it uses wifi, often the connection goes on and off so the conversation is really broken.
Every night it's the same conversation about uni, if i've bought any food, what I'm having for dinner. A lot of the time she won't even listen and she'll just zone out and say 'ok that's good'. I answer all of her calls just because I think 'what if she dies tonight and i never answered her call'. I wouldn't be able to live with myself. I can understand why she wants to check up on me and make sure I'm ok but having facetime with a partially deaf person is not enjoyable. I tell her I prefer to talk normally on the phone without facetime but she says she wants to see me.
I know I should be grateful that I at least have a mum who's alive and wants to speak to me every night, but sometimes it's kind of suffocating and when you speak every day especially when it's in the middle of exams so i haven't exactly got anything interesting to talk about, the conversations are kind of pointless. I've tried hinting to her and telling her that I'm busy doing work but then I just feel bad.
She misses you and sounds lonely. One day she wont be there and then you will have a different view on things. When it gets to exam times then why not call her and just keep it shorter? You do sound like a sulky child.
What do you want to change though? If you just want the calls to be normal calls and not facetime you could sometimes say you're studying outside so it'd be weird to ft. If you want the calls to be less frequent, just say you're busy revising and that you'll catch up with her at the weekend/whenever. If they're too long, say that you have to keep the call short right at the beginning, then it won't be a surprise when you have to get off. Lots of options, without ever being mean about it...
Hahah wait until your older and you have your own children and you will understand.
You could tell a little lie and just say you have stuff going on so you won't be available every night to facetime, say you can text and do normal phone calls, but video chats only once or twice a week. That way you're still talking to her but you're not feeling as overwhelmed by it. I text my mum throughout the week but then about once a week - every 10 days I phone her and we talk for 30 minutes to an hour, and that's good because we talk about everything going on, what the cat's been doing etc. and then we don't really need to catch up for another week. It works for us, maybe that's something you could do. My mum doesn't have a smartphone so video chatting isn't an issue.
Original post by Anonymous
In first year she would call me most nights but I was often busy and sometimes I'd purposefully miss her calls which is kind of bad. She would also text me essays about random sh*t.
In second year I was less busy during the evenings so I was more available to answer calls. For christmas she got an iphone and that's when the facetime calls began.
I'm in third year now and she facetimes me every night. She has me on loud speaker and I can hear myself which puts me off, she also hasn't got the best hearing so I find myself having to raise my voice and repeat myself all the time. Also because it uses wifi, often the connection goes on and off so the conversation is really broken.
Every night it's the same conversation about uni, if i've bought any food, what I'm having for dinner. A lot of the time she won't even listen and she'll just zone out and say 'ok that's good'. I answer all of her calls just because I think 'what if she dies tonight and i never answered her call'. I wouldn't be able to live with myself. I can understand why she wants to check up on me and make sure I'm ok but having facetime with a partially deaf person is not enjoyable. I tell her I prefer to talk normally on the phone without facetime but she says she wants to see me.
I know I should be grateful that I at least have a mum who's alive and wants to speak to me every night, but sometimes it's kind of suffocating and when you speak every day especially when it's in the middle of exams so i haven't exactly got anything interesting to talk about, the conversations are kind of pointless. I've tried hinting to her and telling her that I'm busy doing work but then I just feel bad.
In second year I was less busy during the evenings so I was more available to answer calls. For christmas she got an iphone and that's when the facetime calls began.
I'm in third year now and she facetimes me every night. She has me on loud speaker and I can hear myself which puts me off, she also hasn't got the best hearing so I find myself having to raise my voice and repeat myself all the time. Also because it uses wifi, often the connection goes on and off so the conversation is really broken.
Every night it's the same conversation about uni, if i've bought any food, what I'm having for dinner. A lot of the time she won't even listen and she'll just zone out and say 'ok that's good'. I answer all of her calls just because I think 'what if she dies tonight and i never answered her call'. I wouldn't be able to live with myself. I can understand why she wants to check up on me and make sure I'm ok but having facetime with a partially deaf person is not enjoyable. I tell her I prefer to talk normally on the phone without facetime but she says she wants to see me.
I know I should be grateful that I at least have a mum who's alive and wants to speak to me every night, but sometimes it's kind of suffocating and when you speak every day especially when it's in the middle of exams so i haven't exactly got anything interesting to talk about, the conversations are kind of pointless. I've tried hinting to her and telling her that I'm busy doing work but then I just feel bad.
Sounds like she misses you just be glad she likes you.
Original post by Lord Nutter
Haha I fear this is going to happen to me when I depart for uni
And me...
And it'll be mornings too...
I'd be happy if my mama called me every now and then... Maybe I should call her now... Just deal with it OP it's all good.
If you want to lie your way out, consider breaking your phone's screen so facetime doesn't become a viable option.
If you want to lie your way out, consider breaking your phone's screen so facetime doesn't become a viable option.
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