Should a guy have to pay for the date?

Recently I've had this discussion with my mum on whether a guy should pay for the date and she believes he always should but I don't agree .... I will gladly either split it or just pay for myself or for example a cinema date i'll buy the food while he buys the tickets. I'm only 16 and I don't want a 16 y/o boy go broke just cause of a few dates lol but my mum still disagrees . Is she correct or am I? I know it's sort of a tradition but I don't think it's right

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Reply 1

jsg9

I always think if it’s a first date, and you both had a good time, let the guy pay if he wants to. If you didn’t enjoy yourself and won’t see each other again, split it to be fair. If it’s been a few dates or you’re together it doesn’t matter that much.

Reply 2

Ty457

No,that view of the 'Gentleman' paying on the First Few dates is over.It's 50/50,if he offers then of course let him.But if he dosent,you should offer and decide to both split it equally.

Reply 3

cat_mac

Nah I either split it or make the next one on me (if I know for sure there’ll be a second date). Some guys are really insistent on paying and take offence when you don’t accept because you’re not letting them “be the man” and that’s when you run for the hills.

Reply 4

Feastful

(Generally speaking)

If you want to curry favour with her: Pay for the date.

If you had a mutually disagreeable date (or are dating a more 21st century type of girl): Split the bill.

If you don't want to go broke: Get a part time job to start paying your own way more in life.

Unwilling to pay anything towards a date: Well if she's a good catch, then just remember that there will be plenty of other guys who won't think twice about treating her.

Dating is probably always going to be somewhat traditional because there are strong rational evolutionary reasons why girls/women typically prefer guys who make better providers.

(edited 6 years ago)

Reply 5

Anonymous #1

Original post by Feastful

What's curry favour?

Reply 6

Luke5125

You should always split the bill evenly

Reply 7

ThePricklyOne

You pay for what you eat/drink/use and she does the same.

Dine and ditch bro.

The person who did the asking out should pay.

It's a nice gesture if the other person wanted to split though, but this is not really a requirement.

Reply 10

12haywardJ

Whoever was the one organiser of the date should pay for it, and if its the both the couple than they have to pay the equal amount.

Reply 11

Feastful

Original post by Anonymous

What's curry favour?

To make a good impression, doing something in a bid to be held in higher regard by someone else, to ingratiate oneself- etc.

Original post by cat_mac

This ^^^

Men had to pay for women in the past because women didn't have their own money to pay for the date (or at least had much less than the guy). That's just not true now. Any man whose self esteem is so tied up in being a 'man' and dominating the woman that he HAS to pay for the date has a problem with women.

Also at 16 it's unlikely your boyfriend will have his own money so you're basically making his mum pay for your date lol.

Reply 14

Bio 7

Always split as there are the rare people that go on dates for a free meal only.

Reply 15

Tiger Rag

As a female, I'm happy to split.

Reply 16

username1221160

I always offer to pay but am always willing to compromise. It often works out as one person pays for the meal and one person pays for the drinks/taxi back.

Reply 17

RantingWhovian

Split it if you like him, if he was a terrible date and offers to pay then let him. Or if he bought a lot of stuff and you had very little pay for what you had. With girls and guys I always split evenly or pay for what I bought

Reply 18

In One Ear

As a guy I'm always happy to cover the first date, however I very much appreciate it when a girl offers to split/pay for at least part of it. However, if the girl has an expectation that as the guy I MUST pay for the both of us, then she likely has some reality check issues/attitude issues and she is at best getting marked down very heavily for that.