The Student Room Group

Crush making me depressed

I've had a crush on this guy for a while now.

At first it was exciting to like someone and just admire them, I guess; but lately the feeling of liking them literally makes me sad? Before, whenever they were around I'd get really happy and start talking really high and loud hoping to get their attention, making serious eye contact and blah but now I just want to avoid them at all cost and shut down completely.

It is getting really bad and I've started to miss lectures etc because just seeing them makes me slightly upset and embarrassed. They know I like them but they don't really want to approach me (clear signs: ignored message, ignoring me when I'm near them when there is a group with him and me).

I am trying to move on but it sucks because they are in all my classes. I don't want to miss anymore lectures etc since I take my studies quite seriously and want get the highest marks attainable; higher than him.

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Everyone has flaws. Its time to take the rose-tinted glasses off. Try to focus on the less appealing aspects of him, and perhaps you won't long for him so badly.
Reply 2
Original post by Feastful
Everyone has flaws. Its time to take the rose-tinted glasses off. Try to focus on the less appealing aspects of him, and perhaps you won't long for him so badly.


Thanks, I'll try and do that! Personally I don't like nitpicking flaws of people since I'm not really perfect either lol

Also, since he's my crush, I automatically find all his nerdy flaws "cute".
It's for your own good that you move on from this person especially since he's shown he's not interested in you. Missing lectures is no biggie if you're catching up solidly.

Best of luck with your goals!
Original post by Anonymous
Thanks, I'll try and do that! Personally I don't like nitpicking flaws of people since I'm not really perfect either lol

Also, since he's my crush, I automatically find all his nerdy flaws "cute".


Find someone else to have a crush on

works 99.9% of the time
I am in a similar situation. I've tried distancing myself but it seems impossible. I think it'll just take time but hopefully not too much ey (;
Reply 6
Original post by Anonymous
It's for your own good that you move on from this person especially since he's shown he's not interested in you. Missing lectures is no biggie if you're catching up solidly.

Best of luck with your goals!


Thank you, you're right; I should really set my priorities straight and work hard rather than concentrate on this boy.
Reply 7
Original post by Lord Nutter
Find someone else to have a crush on

works 99.9% of the time


I've really tried loool but my heart just comes back to this same guy
Original post by Anonymous
I've really tried loool but my heart just comes back to this same guy


Well fall in love with me then. I'll make you forget about him

Spoiler

Reply 9
Original post by KatelynWayman
I am in a similar situation. I've tried distancing myself but it seems impossible. I think it'll just take time but hopefully not too much ey (;


Well ive had this crush for 4 months now so only the Lord can save me now

Rip same distancing myself just makes me sad, i don't even know what I want lmao?? GL with your crush lol you'll find someone better ig
Original post by Lord Nutter
Well fall in love with me then. I'll make you forget about him

Spoiler




LOL m9 :tongue: it's not that simple cos its been tried and done, only thing left is kms or bunk lectures? I pick the latter
Original post by Anonymous
Well ive had this crush for 4 months now so only the Lord can save me now

Rip same distancing myself just makes me sad, i don't even know what I want lmao?? GL with your crush lol you'll find someone better ig


I really hope you find someone good for you too (:
Original post by Anonymous
LOL m9 :tongue: it's not that simple cos its been tried and done, only thing left is kms or bunk lectures? I pick the latter


Seriously speaking;

We've all been in a similar situation and we all made it through - bunking lectures is not going to work and killing yourself well lets face it you are not going to do that.

There isn't a magic formula that you can you use in order to get rid of that "crush" on him, the only realistic option you have is to believe in yourself that he is the one that is missing out and the right person will find you. So don't fu*king kill yourself (Or I'll find you in the after life after I have kicked the bucket and stick my boot up yo ass) get a grip, attend your lectures, ignore and forget about him - you're not designed to make that easy but why fu*k yourself in the process - it doesn't make sense!

I had a crush but I didn't let that rule my life.
Original post by Anonymous
Thank you, you're right; I should really set my priorities straight and work hard rather than concentrate on this boy.


Yes, please do. If you ever need to talk about anything else, I'm here sweetie.
Reply 14
Put yourself first, not your crush. It's hard but you're missing out on your lectures while he's moving on with his life.
Original post by Lord Nutter
Seriously speaking;

We've all been in a similar situation and we all made it through - bunking lectures is not going to work and killing yourself well lets face it you are not going to do that.

There isn't a magic formula that you can you use in order to get rid of that "crush" on him, the only realistic option you have is to believe in yourself that he is the one that is missing out and the right person will find you. So don't fu*king kill yourself (Or I'll find you in the after life after I have kicked the bucket and stick my boot up yo ass) get a grip, attend your lectures, ignore and forget about him - you're not designed to make that easy but why fu*k yourself in the process - it doesn't make sense!

I had a crush but I didn't let that rule my life.


Its okay dw I would never kms welp

I think those were the words I needed! "Get a grip" cos that's one thing I'm failing to do. Thanks m99 (〒︿〒) The thing is, its the last week and then its reading week so missing one or two lectures where I'm likely to sit near him is prob for the best?? I can't concentrate with him around and cos he knows I like him, he's super smug about it. Also, I feel like he enjoys me being sad?! If I get a lower mark than him, he gets happy and rubs his answers to my mates. Is he a sadist!??? Are men actually this sadistic??! Cos he's doing things like this which r f*ckin with my head nutter idk what to do
why can't you just talk to him? That might make it easier
Original post by Anonymous
Its okay dw I would never kms welp

I think those were the words I needed! "Get a grip" cos that's one thing I'm failing to do. Thanks m99 (〒︿〒) The thing is, its the last week and then its reading week so missing one or two lectures where I'm likely to sit near him is prob for the best?? I can't concentrate with him around and cos he knows I like him, he's super smug about it. Also, I feel like he enjoys me being sad?! If I get a lower mark than him, he gets happy and rubs his answers to my mates. Is he a sadist!??? Are men actually this sadistic??! Cos he's doing things like this which r f*ckin with my head nutter idk what to do


I wouldn't do that but yet again I'm not the type that will get super smug or anything.
Yeah… I’ve had a crush on someone for some time now and its so hard to move on, it’s frustrating because I haven’t been outright rejected but I made my feelings clear, I guess he didn’t feel the same (maybe cus I’m also a guy?... forgot to mention that) but we’re on good terms which is alright because my ‘crush’ is a lot deeper than just being attracted to him physically, in fact I think I only find him physically attractive because of everything else I like about him. Sometimes he ignores my texts which is annoying but he always end up apologising and never rejects meeting up, although he doesn’t initiate stuff often but I think he's like that with almost everyone and its that whole ignoring thing which makes you want their attention more right??? Like if they just replied and gave you the attention you wanted, you’d probably get over them a lot quicker

Anyway, I know the exact feeling. At first it felt amazing, I felt feelings I never felt before, I felt more happy, the more time I spent with him the more i discovered new things which I fell in love with, he changed my whole view on life, I would even go to say he changed the way I think and see everyday things.. then it all became too much and I missed them and it was making me depressed because I wanted to discover more things and share the things I loved with him and shortly came the whole (kind of) rejection… the end of November till mid January went from depressing to great to depressing to great and then SUPER depressed. It was horrible, the one thing I found thats great is using all these emotions to put energy into yourself, making yourself better and instead of finding someone else to love, fall in love with yourself. Personally I crush/fall in love really hard when someone fills my voids (and I have SO MANY) so I’ve taken the time to fill them myself and live my best life. I think thats why crushes can get depressing, because you have an empty part of you that you want them to fill (on a spiritual level not your vagina)
Reply 19
i know you posted this two years ago and probably won't see this reply but i'm feeling the same way. i've liked this guy for almost two years now and just the thought of him makes me sad and,, ashamed almost? i can't really put a finger on it but it's to the point where i wish i had never met him