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muslim girlfriend's brothers
I'm in a really messed up situation right now and can I please have some advice.
I'm an 19 year old Indian lad and I've been in a relationship with a Pakistani girl (who is 18) for around 7 months now. She is muslim, but she isn't that religious. However, her older brothers and parents seem to be very religious. Due to religion, she asked me not to tell a lot of people about our relationship, so I haven't. I've only told a few of my close mates that I still hang around with since secondary school. So a few days ago, me and my mates, including my girlfriend went to a shisha lounge and chilled there for a bit. One of my mates was uploading numerous videos to his snapchat story, (Note that my mate has around 400 friends on his snapchat, most of whom he hardly knows). Turned out, that one of the videos that he uploaded to his story were of my girl leaning on my shoulder and me having my arm over her shoulder. Someone who saw the video recognised my girlfriend and informed her brothers. My girl, told me that they were extremely aggressive to her at home when they confronted her about it (Since they are very religious). Now they are trying to find out who I am and are trying to blackmail my girlfriend to either give them information on where I study/what I do/where I live/etc, or they'll tell her parents, who she tells me would probably disown her.
I've been extremely paranoid and frustrated for the past hours. I cannot image what would happen if they figure out where I am or even live. They seem extremely aggressive and apparantly have threatened to beat me up.
I feel like calling the police would just cause a lot of trouble for both of us as that would mean that they would need to contact her parents about this as well. I feel like I'm trapped in this place. I am struggling to contact her recently as well as her brothers have taken away her phone (all messages, social media and etc between us were deleted prior to them taking it away)
Does anyone have any advice please.
I'm an 19 year old Indian lad and I've been in a relationship with a Pakistani girl (who is 18) for around 7 months now. She is muslim, but she isn't that religious. However, her older brothers and parents seem to be very religious. Due to religion, she asked me not to tell a lot of people about our relationship, so I haven't. I've only told a few of my close mates that I still hang around with since secondary school. So a few days ago, me and my mates, including my girlfriend went to a shisha lounge and chilled there for a bit. One of my mates was uploading numerous videos to his snapchat story, (Note that my mate has around 400 friends on his snapchat, most of whom he hardly knows). Turned out, that one of the videos that he uploaded to his story were of my girl leaning on my shoulder and me having my arm over her shoulder. Someone who saw the video recognised my girlfriend and informed her brothers. My girl, told me that they were extremely aggressive to her at home when they confronted her about it (Since they are very religious). Now they are trying to find out who I am and are trying to blackmail my girlfriend to either give them information on where I study/what I do/where I live/etc, or they'll tell her parents, who she tells me would probably disown her.
I've been extremely paranoid and frustrated for the past hours. I cannot image what would happen if they figure out where I am or even live. They seem extremely aggressive and apparantly have threatened to beat me up.
I feel like calling the police would just cause a lot of trouble for both of us as that would mean that they would need to contact her parents about this as well. I feel like I'm trapped in this place. I am struggling to contact her recently as well as her brothers have taken away her phone (all messages, social media and etc between us were deleted prior to them taking it away)
Does anyone have any advice please.
Scroll to see replies
ok..?
Original post by It's****ingWOODY
Religion of peace strikes again.
Why is it everytime someone who follows Islam does something stupid, the entire religion gets judged.
Original post by Anonymous
Why is it everytime someone who follows Islam does something stupid, the entire religion gets judged.
True I'm muslim and hate that. Its not Islam that is bad, its the muslims who act this way. Everyone has freewill in life, but people act this way choosing what they do- so religion shouldnt really come into it.
In response to OP, lay off for a few days see what happens and if u get in contact with your gf ask her what to do, girls tend to be right some of the times. lol jk as she knows how her family better, she'll say what the best thing is.
p.s. I dont know what id do I'd probably turn up and say aslam alyakum brother where da f my girl at. ps. i actually dont know. Good luck bro
Original post by It's****ingWOODY
Religion of peace strikes again.
U serious rn. Do u need ur head testing. Get ur ass out from the media bro.
* rhetorical question just to point it out to u.
Original post by Anonymous
Why is it everytime someone who follows Islam does something stupid, the entire religion gets judged.
ppl can't see past their own ignorance and stupidity
Original post by TheProphetsPath
Hope they find you.
Why would you say that?
... I've heard these stories so many times. I think anyone knows dating someone who is a Muslim is risky - either because the family is aggressive Or the person gets ridiculed and bullied or even kicked out the house. Therefore Keeping the relationship a secret makes it worse. Because people will be questioning all the things you've done together. Also if She's not willing to keep things open and widespread then that's equally as worse as going against her religion's values. During ANY relationship things go up and down. And when things get to a low point we need to rely on someone else for help like a friend or family member for advice. Like your seeking advice now online.
She probably knew the consequences right from the start.. and they would be difficult to deal with of course due to free will. But for a relationship to work things need to be prioritised. I don't understand why she would want to put you and herself through pain/guilt at any point. I'm sure it's not intentional but it seems like she's completely hidden it away.
I think You guys should have considered her religious belief at the start (she is still a Muslim even though she doesn't fully practice it), you can't change the course of that and the rules of Islam. So please don't blame the religion. Can you and her just stay friends, not bf and gf..? If people still judge you guys then please ignore it - it's just bullying and stupidity then. And if her family get physically aggressive - yes call the poilice because that's so wrong. Lots of Muslims divert from Islamic rules due to many influences and there's still SOME free will involved, the family needs to understand that. Whenever you can please talk to your gf about how you're feeling, etc and Mabye ask her what she wanted from this relationship. Right now she might need to find alternatives, untill she has MORE freedom to make decisions when she's in her 20's e.g living alone, studying, etc. That is what is good about Islam you're not controlled forever and if you think about it you can't really unless it is an extreme case which obviously is not acceptable. I hope things turn out positive at the end whatever you guys chose to do
She probably knew the consequences right from the start.. and they would be difficult to deal with of course due to free will. But for a relationship to work things need to be prioritised. I don't understand why she would want to put you and herself through pain/guilt at any point. I'm sure it's not intentional but it seems like she's completely hidden it away.
I think You guys should have considered her religious belief at the start (she is still a Muslim even though she doesn't fully practice it), you can't change the course of that and the rules of Islam. So please don't blame the religion. Can you and her just stay friends, not bf and gf..? If people still judge you guys then please ignore it - it's just bullying and stupidity then. And if her family get physically aggressive - yes call the poilice because that's so wrong. Lots of Muslims divert from Islamic rules due to many influences and there's still SOME free will involved, the family needs to understand that. Whenever you can please talk to your gf about how you're feeling, etc and Mabye ask her what she wanted from this relationship. Right now she might need to find alternatives, untill she has MORE freedom to make decisions when she's in her 20's e.g living alone, studying, etc. That is what is good about Islam you're not controlled forever and if you think about it you can't really unless it is an extreme case which obviously is not acceptable. I hope things turn out positive at the end whatever you guys chose to do
like a Bollywood movie isn't it...
it all kinda depends on whether you still want to be with her or not..?
it all kinda depends on whether you still want to be with her or not..?
Grow some balls and beat the **** out of them irrespective of whether this relationship lasts or not. Get your friends involved if possible.
Original post by Anonymous
Why is it everytime someone who follows Islam does something stupid, the entire religion gets judged.
Probably because of the high proportion of followers of Islam who think it's okay to do things like this. There's no smoke without fire and it's obvious that the teachings need looking at if they're misinterpreted by its followers so often.
Original post by Anonymous
Why is it everytime someone who follows Islam does something stupid, the entire religion gets judged.
Original post by Anonymous
U serious rn. Do u need ur head testing. Get ur ass out from the media bro.
* rhetorical question just to point it out to u.
* rhetorical question just to point it out to u.
Original post by Anonymous
ppl can't see past their own ignorance and stupidity
Don’t play dumb. We all know that these kinds of reactions to dating are very common among Muslims and Islamic communities. And presumably stems from the whole crap that dating is apparently forbidden, especially dating someone who isn’t Muslim. Don’t get mad and triggered just because woody was saying the truth lol
Muslims do feel strongly and yes we will be aggressive and angry towards individuals who mess around with our women, because we care! Really, it's not just because they're Muslims so many cultures would react the same way Muslim or non Muslim. Frankly, OP you're Indian you will never marry that girl because she's religious and Muslim! So all you're doing is playing with her feelings and setting her up for heartbreak - aren't her brothers right trying to protect her from getting overly attached and in the future falling into sorrow!
Original post by It's****ingWOODY
Probably because of the high proportion of followers of Islam who think it's okay to do things like this. There's no smoke without fire and it's obvious that the teachings need looking at if they're misinterpreted by its followers so often.
People interpret Islam to their own preferences because they do not agree with what majority of the ruling dictates. Hence issues such as these being to occur.
If not that then it's individuals who integrate culture and religion together but that will never work so they then cause an issue for themselves yet again.
Theres a clear reason as to why Allah has forbidden free mixing as well as all other concepts. I believe it's not misinterpreted as such but the believers want their own way hence they then bring trouble on themselves.
Original post by Anonymous
I'm in a really messed up situation right now and can I please have some advice.
I'm an 19 year old Indian lad and I've been in a relationship with a Pakistani girl (who is 18) for around 7 months now. She is muslim, but she isn't that religious. However, her older brothers and parents seem to be very religious. Due to religion, she asked me not to tell a lot of people about our relationship, so I haven't. I've only told a few of my close mates that I still hang around with since secondary school. So a few days ago, me and my mates, including my girlfriend went to a shisha lounge and chilled there for a bit. One of my mates was uploading numerous videos to his snapchat story, (Note that my mate has around 400 friends on his snapchat, most of whom he hardly knows). Turned out, that one of the videos that he uploaded to his story were of my girl leaning on my shoulder and me having my arm over her shoulder. Someone who saw the video recognised my girlfriend and informed her brothers. My girl, told me that they were extremely aggressive to her at home when they confronted her about it (Since they are very religious). Now they are trying to find out who I am and are trying to blackmail my girlfriend to either give them information on where I study/what I do/where I live/etc, or they'll tell her parents, who she tells me would probably disown her.
I've been extremely paranoid and frustrated for the past hours. I cannot image what would happen if they figure out where I am or even live. They seem extremely aggressive and apparantly have threatened to beat me up.
I feel like calling the police would just cause a lot of trouble for both of us as that would mean that they would need to contact her parents about this as well. I feel like I'm trapped in this place. I am struggling to contact her recently as well as her brothers have taken away her phone (all messages, social media and etc between us were deleted prior to them taking it away)
Does anyone have any advice please.
I'm an 19 year old Indian lad and I've been in a relationship with a Pakistani girl (who is 18) for around 7 months now. She is muslim, but she isn't that religious. However, her older brothers and parents seem to be very religious. Due to religion, she asked me not to tell a lot of people about our relationship, so I haven't. I've only told a few of my close mates that I still hang around with since secondary school. So a few days ago, me and my mates, including my girlfriend went to a shisha lounge and chilled there for a bit. One of my mates was uploading numerous videos to his snapchat story, (Note that my mate has around 400 friends on his snapchat, most of whom he hardly knows). Turned out, that one of the videos that he uploaded to his story were of my girl leaning on my shoulder and me having my arm over her shoulder. Someone who saw the video recognised my girlfriend and informed her brothers. My girl, told me that they were extremely aggressive to her at home when they confronted her about it (Since they are very religious). Now they are trying to find out who I am and are trying to blackmail my girlfriend to either give them information on where I study/what I do/where I live/etc, or they'll tell her parents, who she tells me would probably disown her.
I've been extremely paranoid and frustrated for the past hours. I cannot image what would happen if they figure out where I am or even live. They seem extremely aggressive and apparantly have threatened to beat me up.
I feel like calling the police would just cause a lot of trouble for both of us as that would mean that they would need to contact her parents about this as well. I feel like I'm trapped in this place. I am struggling to contact her recently as well as her brothers have taken away her phone (all messages, social media and etc between us were deleted prior to them taking it away)
Does anyone have any advice please.
im sorry to hear. You need to ensure that u r safe. Im a muslim female and I will not judge u and ur girlfriend. Do her brothers know where u livE?
Original post by TheProphetsPath
Hope they find you.
your sick u know that?
Yes it is haraam to date, yes free-mixing is haraam, but when there is harm that may be done to people that must be stopped!
thats not how we go about things
Original post by Anonymous
There is no misinterpretation. Islam is a sadistic death cult
According to you. You may have had a bad experience or no experience with Islam.
That doesn't mean Islam is to blame for you're issues.
Islam is no more evil or Misgiuded than ny other religion. end of the day people interpret religion they way they want it to be rather than the way it is in order to justify beliefs that they already had eg: many christians still having a problem with Gay marriage. this doesnt make the whole of christianity homophobic it simply means that some homophobic people choose to interpret the bible that way and the same with interpretations of islam.
in response to the OP if you are truly scared for your safety contacting the police or other relevant authoritys would be the correct move. I personally would probably confront them about this myself but just because i would doesnt neccesarily make it the smart thing to do.
in response to the OP if you are truly scared for your safety contacting the police or other relevant authoritys would be the correct move. I personally would probably confront them about this myself but just because i would doesnt neccesarily make it the smart thing to do.
it's not worth the hassle so my advice is end the relationship
why are you hiding behind anonymous, son?
Original post by Anonymous
Don’t play dumb. We all know that these kinds of reactions to dating are very common among Muslims and Islamic communities. And presumably stems from the whole crap that dating is apparently forbidden, especially dating someone who isn’t Muslim. Don’t get mad and triggered just because woody was saying the truth lol
why are you hiding behind anonymous, son?
Original post by Anonymous
Muslims do feel strongly and yes we will be aggressive and angry towards individuals who mess around with our women, because we care! Really, it's not just because they're Muslims so many cultures would react the same way Muslim or non Muslim. Frankly, OP you're Indian you will never marry that girl because she's religious and Muslim! So all you're doing is playing with her feelings and setting her up for heartbreak - aren't her brothers right trying to protect her from getting overly attached and in the future falling into sorrow!
Your women? You don't own them and they do whatever the flying f*** they want without your permission regardless of your religion. Her brothers are not right threating violence when all alleged grievances can be dealt with in a civilized conversation.
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