Do guys really look past a girl's looks?

I'm really low on self-esteem since starting uni. I'm not massive, but not slim either - a size ten I would say. My concern is that when I'm not slim, nor pretty, people will always look past me. I think I have a great personality when people get to know me, and I've even surprised people who have made assumptions about me due to me not being as pretty as the others. So, ultimately, would guys always be repulsed by me/not attracted to me because of my looks? Or do some actually focus on the personality?

Reply 1

Ray_Shadows

i mean just like how girls do it , looks are a considering factor

but if you stand out above other girls then you shouldn't have much of a problem

Reply 2

source

Its more health that guys look at, but they think its looks (in general, most people do this subconsciously - and other factors are social norms). If you stay healthy, and active, and be the best version of you (doesn't mean being skinny), then there is absolutely no reason for guys to "look past" you - i am sure you are beautiful, you just need to find your confidence which affects how you look - when you are happy and at your best internally, your face lights up, and your body language changes, this has a huge impact on people around, guys and girls.

I hope this makes sense - i know its not common wording or common knowledge always - but i have gone through enough self doubt to be able to say, its just that, self doubt, nothing else.

Reply 3

Anonymous #2

Original post by Anonymous

Guy here. Personally, looks are important for the initial attraction. By looks I mean of course your genetics and build, but also your facial expression and how friendly/happy/approachable you look. After that, it's all down to the personality. A 10/10 stunner with a bad personality is no use to anyone, except one night stands.

So in short, looks bring people together initially, but personality holds them together. Lack of self esteem is quite obvious after a while and is not an attractive trait, so definitely work on your confidence and I'm sure you'll find someone. :biggrin:

Reply 4

AxSirlotl

Idk a lot of guys will inevitably care about your appearance because that's natural. I'm the runt of the litter when it comes to male attractiveness so I try to look past appearance as much as possible and I've been attracted to girls who I didn't initially find attractive because their personality made me attracted to them (I know it's a cliche but I don't know how else to describe it).

Reply 5

Dunnig Kruger

Eat a bit less - 300 calories less a day, and exercise a bit more, ie at 130 BPM pulse rate for 10 minutes every other day, and you'll lose 1 lb per week. In 6 months time you'd be a size 8 with more strength and energy reserves than you have now, Then all you'd need to do is wear clothes that accentuate your athletic body shape to reel them in.

At uni there'll be plenty of guys that are so desperate that they'd go with Quasimodo if he had tits and a vagina.

Your looks are no bar to you getting a boyfriend there. It's OK if he's a Desparate Dan as long as he's worth having as an overall package.

You do sound like the sort of person that will have quality relationships more than a quantity of relationships. That's OK. Quality is better than quantity, unless the quality falls below twice per year, in which case it'd need looking into.

Reply 6

Anonymous #1

Original post by Dunnig Kruger

thanks for you advice, currently i'm eating less than i should anyway in terms of calories as you specified but as for the exercise regime thanks! i currently dont have a workout routine, i just do what i can with no particular structure

Reply 7

ANM775

Original post by Anonymous

Looks matter to guys but there is so much thirstiness amongst guys nowadays that it wouldn't be hard to get a guy on your looks level or somewhat above ..to start dating [if you are using internet dating, or going out to bars/pubs/clubs etc]

whether or not they'd commit to a monogamous relationship with you is another matter, you may have to go through a few pumps and dumps first.........

personality matters somewhat yes, but most guys [who have options] will not take a girl as their girlfriend unless they are genuinely decently attracted to her too...