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Long Distance Relationship?

Is a long distance relationship a good idea?

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Reply 1
Avatar for UWS
UWS
21
Depends on whether you're willing to make that commitment, everyone is different.
Original post by UWS
Depends on whether you're willing to make that commitment, everyone is different.


I have spoke to him about it and we are both unsure as we don't want to hurt each other like if it goes wrong. We have know each other for 2 years and we both have feeling for each other
Reply 3
Avatar for jcrosful
jcrosful
1
for how long will that distance relationship be? If its not too long you can maybe work it out
Reply 4
Avatar for UWS
UWS
21
Original post by tiarichards16
I have spoke to him about it and we are both unsure as we don't want to hurt each other like if it goes wrong. We have know each other for 2 years and we both have feeling for each other


How long would the long distance relationship be?
Original post by jcrosful
for how long will that distance relationship be? If its not too long you can maybe work it out


He lives in New York and I live in England
Original post by tiarichards16
He lives in New York and I live in England


lol quit while you're ahead.
Reply 7
Avatar for UWS
UWS
21
Original post by tiarichards16
He lives in New York and I live in England


Yeah.... That's not going to work at your age.
Reply 8
Avatar for Kraggor
Kraggor
19
Original post by tiarichards16
Is a long distance relationship a good idea?


Moved to Relationships and altered title to be more fitting :smile:

-------------------------------------------------------------------

I'm currently in a long distance relationship and I'd like to say I think it's pretty successful :u:

But, the thing about long distance is the actual concept behind it is the same as a normal relationship but you have to put even more effort in than usual and it has to come from both sides (one sided a bad idea) and you have to be strong about the distance if you can't visit often (this can be brutal at times)

If you feel both you and a partner can keep a high level of communication and be open about goals (short term, company, long term, exclusive etc) and what you would like out of the relationship and the level of commitment then I thnik giving it a go is not a bad idea.

If you want to ask any questions about LDRs just let me know or send me a PM and I would be more than happy to answer :h:

Have a good day :smile:
(edited 6 years ago)
Original post by Kraggor
Moved to Relationships and altered title to be more fitting :smile:

-------------------------------------------------------------------

I'm currently in a long distance relationship and I'd like to say I think it's pretty successful :u:

But, the thing about long distance is the actual concept behind it is the same as a normal relationship but you have to put even more effort in than usual and it has to come from both sides (one sided a bad idea) and you have to be strong about the distance if you can't visit often (this can be brutal at times)

If you feel both you and a partner can keep a high level of communication and be open about goals (short term, company, long term, exclusive etc) and what you would like out of the relationship and the level of commitment then I thnik giving it a go is not a bad idea.

If you want to ask any questions about LDRs just let me know or send me a PM and I would be more than happy to answer :h:

Have a good day :smile:


Thanks :smile:
Original post by tiarichards16
Is a long distance relationship a good idea?


If you want to be withe person then yes. You see, my husband and I met at high school and started dating in our last year after uni applications. He got into Oxford for medicine and I got a place at NYU. We kept up our relationship for 4 years until I decided to do postgrad law in England. I'm currently doing my Ph.D.

We are now happily married with a kid and a golden retriever. So I guess if you put in the work, its worth it. Good Luck.
Reply 11
Avatar for 8472
8472
21
If I could I would avoid having one again unless i've previously spent a lot of time with said person in real life first. But it is down to the people involved E.G. I'd prefer to have a 5 minute face to face chat than text all day with someone I loved. You never know until you try it though.
Original post by Sammie159
If you want to be withe person then yes. You see, my husband and I met at high school and started dating in our last year after uni applications. He got into Oxford for medicine and I got a place at NYU. We kept up our relationship for 4 years until I decided to do postgrad law in England. I'm currently doing my Ph.D.

We are now happily married with a kid and a golden retriever. So I guess if you put in the work, its worth it. Good Luck.


Thanks :smile:
If you're not dating anybody else and there's noone else around you who you find interesting, then you haven't really got much to lose.

The chances of things working out long-term aren't very high. Even if a long distance relationship starts out in the same way as a normal close relationship, peoples lives tend to diverge from each other after a while. When there's a huge distance involved and you never see each other in the physical world, then the relationship starts to drift away from reality and ends up turning into a kind of idealised fantasy.

Most relationships (whether they start out in-person, or online) are sparked by some initial chemistry, lust and attraction; the problem with distance is that it quickly leads to chronic tension and frustrationl. The tension can often lead to showing each other a lot more attention than you might do otherwise, which in-turn can end up with a lot of intense emotions which might never actually last when you're eventually together.

IMO, there are usually two likely outcomes where it won't work. The first is where one or both of your lives diverge so much that one or both of you end up meeting somebody else, a new group of friends, finding a new hobby, starting a new course, etc. When one person diverts their attention elsewhere, that really sucks for the other person who probably made all the effort but actually never had a chance at making it work..

The other outcome is that you might survive the distance, but reality ends up in disappointment - you thought you knew everything about each other, but then you start to learn about their annoying habits and quirks, or the "bubble" which you'd been living in just bursts and you realise that you'd assumed an emotional connection which never really existed, or being apart from them for so long means that they aren't the way you remember them..

I'm not saying that it can't work, but there's a very, very high probability that it won't work. Particularly at 16 when your life is already likely to change quite a lot over the next few years.
Ok I have decided that I'm going to go for it :smile: I will let you lot how it goes :smile:
Reply 15
Avatar for bi_bish
bi_bish
5
Original post by tiarichards16
Is a long distance relationship a good idea?


It depends on what type you are. I've found that most guys in along distance relationship have someone else with them where they are. It also makes you more stressed out, because you know somewhere inside that he could be cheating on you, it all depends on whether or not you're willing to take on the challenge.
Original post by bi_bish
It depends on what type you are. I've found that most guys in along distance relationship have someone else with them where they are. It also makes you more stressed out, because you know somewhere inside that he could be cheating on you, it all depends on whether or not you're willing to take on the challenge.


I do worry that I could be cheated on when I'm in a relationship
(edited 6 years ago)
Reply 17
Avatar for bi_bish
bi_bish
5
Original post by tiarichards16
I do worry that I could be cheated on when I'm in a relationship


That's completely normal. If you feel that way< then It's also not very healthy to be in the relationship you're in! you should be able to feel that he is always and will always be true to you. if you feel he could be cheating, then I would say mingle around and find someone who will keep all his/her attention on you.(relationship wise)
Original post by bi_bish
That's completely normal. If you feel that way< then It's also not very healthy to be in the relationship you're in! you should be able to feel that he is always and will always be true to you. if you feel he could be cheating, then I would say mingle around and find someone who will keep all his/her attention on you.(relationship wise)


I'm currently single and he seems like the one for me but I guess that's coz I'm still young and naïve. But every time I talk to him, I get butterflies in my stomach. He is not like other guys and he is so sweet and caring. I do wonder whether that just hormones or whether its true emotions.
if its just a short term thing then yes

if you want a future together - and neither of you are willing to relocate for the other - then its pointless

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