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Why do women want gender equality in the workplace, but not in dating?

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Original post by loveleest
It's fine, thank you- I just wanted to let you know how ridiculously easy it is for someone to get charged for murder and convicted. I was reading the other day about some guy that got convicted for murder for 21 years and he was on the other side of the state in America. Many police officers just charge people with extremely little evidence, to get the case over and done with.

Yeah I understand. People that are mass murderers like the school shooter might as well get it, I guess.


Yes, i understand. I think it shows the deep problems with the justice system in many countries. There are no checks and balances in the system and when people talk about it, others try to throw crime statistics at them.

I think police officers and other people in the justice system need to be punished if they get something fundamentally wrong. In many other professions, negligence or deep neglect are severely punished. For example, doctors can get struck off and be jailed, but officers are given paid leave.
(edited 6 years ago)
Original post by Wired_1800
Yes, i understand. I think it shows the deep problems with the justice system in many countries. There are no checks and balances in the system and when people talk about it, others try to throw crime statistics at them.

I think police officers and other people in the justice system need to be punished if they get something fundamentally wrong. In many other professions, negligence or deep neglect are severely punished. For example, doctors can get struck off and be jailed, but officers are given paid leave.


Yeah, that's why I don't pay attention to people bring up crime statistics- Many people imprisoned when they shouldn't be.

I think police is one of those professions where they can get away with many things. It's very easy for a police officer to get away with wrongfully charging someone for a serious crime like murder.

Like for my brother, the excuse they gave my brother was he looking like the could be potentially be in a gang. Because all the other people that were charged (and actually had evidence) looked like they wouldn't be in a gang because they were small, whilst my brother was tall so they thought he was part of it...even though there was no evidence of him being at the crime scene.
Original post by bobby147
Can you blame the men when these days women swoon over guys like Justin Nieber and One direction ?


I don't know any grown woman that swoons over boybands and what does that have to do with men not abusing women?
Original post by loveleest
Yeah, that's why I don't pay attention to people bring up crime statistics- Many people imprisoned when they shouldn't be.

I think police is one of those professions where they can get away with many things. It's very easy for a police officer to get away with wrongfully charging someone for a serious crime like murder.

Like for my brother, the excuse they gave my brother was he looking like the could be potentially be in a gang. Because all the other people that were charged (and actually had evidence) looked like they wouldn't be in a gang because they were small, whilst my brother was tall so they thought he was part of it...even though there was no evidence of him being at the crime scene.


It is idiotic, but what do you expect. It is sad that we live in such an society.
Original post by Wired_1800
Yeah.


“I don’t believe in abortion because it’s murder and murder is wrong. Nobody’s life is more important than another’s” ...yet you are in favour of the death penalty.
How Logical.
Original post by cherryred90s
“I don’t believe in abortion because it’s murder and murder is wrong. Nobody’s life is more important than another’s” ...yet you are in favour of the death penalty.
How Logical.


lmao. He really did contradict himself.
Original post by loveleest
lmao. He really did contradict himself.


I did not contradict myself. Read through my comments.

Original post by cherryred90s
“I don’t believe in abortion because it’s murder and murder is wrong. Nobody’s life is more important than another’s” ...yet you are in favour of the death penalty.
How Logical.


I am in favour of the death penalty for murderers. Those who kill others have to have their lives taken away from them. It is logical.

To the abortion point, the mother’s life is not more important than the child’s. If the mother decides to end the child’s life through abortion then her life should be ended through the death penalty.

Is this consistent enough for you?
(edited 6 years ago)
Original post by queen-bee
Men also have a lot to blame for. Most men today don't act like men at all,they're very feminine. It very difficult to find a manly man in this day and age
Women are attracted to feminine men these days. Johnny Depp, Justin Bieber, One Direction. These guys are all feminine. Even much older women (30+) like these men. Meanwhile, genuinely masculine men get overlooked.

Because women are generally the choosers in dating (wish they weren't but sadly they are), the men mold themselves into what the majority of women want. And the majority want feminine guys.

When I hear some women complain "why can't men be men?" "where are all the real men?". A mixture of feminism and popular culture has mostly got rid of them - and it's all women's fault.
Original post by snowman77
Women are attracted to feminine men these days. Johnny Depp, Justin Bieber, One Direction. These guys are all feminine. Even much older women (30+) like these men. Meanwhile, genuinely masculine men get overlooked.

Because women are generally the choosers in dating (wish they weren't but sadly they are), the men mold themselves into what the majority of women want. And the majority want feminine guys.

When I hear some women complain "why can't men be men?" "where are all the real men?". A mixture of feminism and popular culture has mostly got rid of them - and it's all women's fault.


Maybe it's just men making excuses for being inadequate? Meanwhile women have to jump through all the games men play when it comes to dating,trying to invest in the guy etc
Original post by queen-bee
Maybe it's just men making excuses for being inadequate? Meanwhile women have to jump through all the games men play when it comes to dating,trying to invest in the guy etc
What??? Women are the ones who play all the games. Sadly, women are the choosers, so they can mess guys around as much as they want and still have plenty of options available. The only time guys can mess women around are if they are very rich/high status/good looking - very few men fit into these categories.

Anecdotal evidence, but there are guys I know have been messed around a ton by women. Especially on online dating. Women do not make their intentions clear and it can be several months down the line before you find out she isn't into you.

Whereas all the guys I know make their intentions very clear from the outset. Generally speaking, men are logical, women are driven by emotion. Which is why men do not play these stupid games and want to know clearly where they stand, but women do play these silly games.
Original post by Wired_1800
I did not contradict myself. Read through my comments.



I am in favour of the death penalty for murderers. Those who kill others have to have their lives taken away from them. It is logical.

To the abortion point, the mother’s life is not more important than the child’s. If the mother decides to end the child’s life through abortion then her life should be ended through the death penalty.

Is this consistent enough for you?


Very consistent and not at all contradictory. I understand your point: Murder is not wrong. Murder is OK sometimes.
Original post by cherryred90s
Very consistent and not at all contradictory. I understand your point: Murder is not wrong. Murder is OK sometimes.


What? When did i state that?
Original post by Wired_1800
What? When did i state that?


Well you can’t believe that it’s wrong if you agree with it
Original post by cherryred90s
Well you can’t believe that it’s wrong if you agree with it


What is wrong? Abortion? Of course it is wrong. I don't seem to grasp the point you are alluding to
Original post by Wired_1800
What is wrong? Abortion? Of course it is wrong. I don't seem to grasp the point you are alluding to

For goodness sake. You agree with murder so you can’t think that it’s wrong
Original post by snowman77
What??? Women are the ones who play all the games. Sadly, women are the choosers, so they can mess guys around as much as they want and still have plenty of options available. The only time guys can mess women around are if they are very rich/high status/good looking - very few men fit into these categories.

Anecdotal evidence, but there are guys I know have been messed around a ton by women. Especially on online dating. Women do not make their intentions clear and it can be several months down the line before you find out she isn't into you.

Whereas all the guys I know make their intentions very clear from the outset. Generally speaking, men are logical, women are driven by emotion. Which is why men do not play these stupid games and want to know clearly where they stand, but women do play these silly games.


And you've met every single woman and every single man to know this is true? I don't play games and I've met a few men who do. I made my intentions clear to him from day one and he didn't. Does that mean I can tar all men with the same brush?
Original post by cherryred90s
For goodness sake. You agree with murder so you can’t think that it’s wrong


Oh you are talking about the death penalty? That is a completely different story here.
Original post by Wired_1800
Oh you are talking about the death penalty? That is a completely different story here.


You say that everything is completely different when you’re being contradictory. Bottom line is that it’s still murder.
Original post by cherryred90s
You say that everything is completely different when you’re being contradictory. Bottom line is that it’s still murder.


Murder of a murderer? Nobody is committing murder. The state is taking the life of someone who killed another person.
Original post by snowman77
This is what I don't understand about the modern day gender equality/feminism movement. They want equality in some areas, but other areas they are happy for things to stay the same as long as they receive the benefit.

Women want equal treatment in the workplace with their male colleagues. They want equal pay (FWIW the gender pay gap is a myth - same job for same hours get paid the same, otherwise it's illegal), they don't want to experience sexual harassment in the workplace (what about all the false accusations which ruin men's careers?), they want the same opportunities men have, they want equal opportunities for promotion (despite many of them taking time off for maternity leave).

This is all fair enough. Except they don't want equality in dating. Men are still expected to:

- ask the woman out and face possible rejection (women might give subtle hints, but under no circumstances will they ask the man out - that is "his job":wink:
- pay for the first date (and possible subsequent dates as well)
- propose to the woman
- treat her with meals/gifts
- hold open the door for her
- give up his coat if she's cold, so he can freeze (but never the other way around)
- put the majority of effort into sex (this is centered around pleasing the woman - the man's enjoyment is always assumed)
- be manly and dominant, never show any weak emotions, keep his problems bottled up because otherwise it's "unmanly"
- household chores must now be shared. Women no longer have to do all the cooking and cleaning, it's shared equally between men, because otherwise it's gender discrimination/oppression. Despite the fact men are still seen as the primary breadwinner in the household and a man without a job is a virtual disaster.


So back to the original question: Why do women want gender equality in the workplace (and indeed many other areas), but not in dating? I'm interested to hear to views of men, women and any feminists.


But it isn't exactly easy for women either. I can hear you protesting but hear me out. While I don't agree with all those cultural norms we are often told that we would be "taking away a man's prerogative" if we ask him out, pay for dates, or give him our coat. I don't know about anyone else but personally I'm often warned against "emasculating a man", told to be "feminine" and so on. (What can I say? I am a feminist but my family are not exactly or if they are they go in for "equal but different"). In fact, it can be really difficult to navigate through all that as someone who wants equality for both. As for household chores, that is fair as long as everything else is done equally but I can see your point. About men not showing emotion, I personally would always prefer that he did rather than keep it in himself. In short, there's the whole fear of being seen as bossy or arrogant or something by doing any of the things you say it is unfair men have to do but not women.

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