Regretting the uni I picked

I’m in term 2 of first year now and my uni experience has been great so far. I’ve met some amazing friends and I love my course. The only problem is it’s too close to home. It’s two hours away from my home town so I’m expected to come home every weekend. It was my only close to home choice and I chose it due to mental health at the time. Now that I’m feeling better I feel as if I’m missing out on the independence others get or the ‘real uni experience’! I’m not going to drop out and reapply or anything, but how do I just stop these feelings of regret???

I’m in term 2 of first year now and my uni experience has been great so far. I’ve met some amazing friends and I love my course. The only problem is it’s too close to home. It’s two hours away from my home town so I’m expected to come home every weekend. It was my only close to home choice and I chose it due to mental health at the time. Now that I’m feeling better I feel as if I’m missing out on the independence others get or the ‘real uni experience’! I’m not going to drop out and reapply or anything, but how do I just stop these feelings of regret???

I'm sorry you're feeling that way - although it's great you're having a good time! For what it's worth, in my mind, two hours is not all that close - I'm surprised you're expected to go home every weekend. Either way, I think the solution here is: don't! If you want more independence, dial it back to one weekend a month or so. Can you talk to your family about how you're feeling? Hopefully they'd understand you want to spread your wings a bit. If they're not that kind of family... well, they might be upset, but you're an adult and are going to go your own way sooner or later, so now isn't a bad time to start asserting yourself.

You're an adult with your own life - you don't have to go home often if you don't want to. You can always say that you have too much work if you really need an excuse. I say this as the father of a current student .. although he's an 11 hour flight away.

They’re not the type, I tried that recently but instead my mum ended up coming to visit me! They made me get a job back home so I need to do that and honestly with where I’m from and the uni I’m at it’s kind of the norm for everyone in my home town to do the travelling. I was thinking about getting a job in my uni town and I suggested this and it’s safe to say they didn’t take it well lol

I’m in term 2 of first year now and my uni experience has been great so far. I’ve met some amazing friends and I love my course. The only problem is it’s too close to home. It’s two hours away from my home town so I’m expected to come home every weekend. It was my only close to home choice and I chose it due to mental health at the time. Now that I’m feeling better I feel as if I’m missing out on the independence others get or the ‘real uni experience’! I’m not going to drop out and reapply or anything, but how do I just stop these feelings of regret???

I’m in term 2 of first year now and my uni experience has been great so far. I’ve met some amazing friends and I love my course. The only problem is it’s too close to home. It’s two hours away from my home town so I’m expected to come home every weekend. It was my only close to home choice and I chose it due to mental health at the time. Now that I’m feeling better I feel as if I’m missing out on the independence others get or the ‘real uni experience’! I’m not going to drop out and reapply or anything, but how do I just stop these feelings of regret???

Well that sucks... but yeah, my advice doesn't change. If you want some independence, it's obviously not going to come from your parents, so you're going to have to push for it. Of course, you might decide it's not worth the hassle, and if that's the case then so be it. But you're an adult: it's up to you how you spend your time. You can stay at uni some weekends. You can tell your mum not to come visit you. You can get a job wherever you like. You don't have to convince your parents these are the right decisions, you just need to tell them that's what you're doing. And I don't think anyone else on this forum is going to be able to suggest an easier solution for you, because unfortunately there isn't an easy solution to this kinda thing. Best of luck!

Well that sucks... but yeah, my advice doesn't change. If you want some independence, it's obviously not going to come from your parents, so you're going to have to push for it. Of course, you might decide it's not worth the hassle, and if that's the case then so be it. But you're an adult: it's up to you how you spend your time. You can stay at uni some weekends. You can tell your mum not to come visit you. You can get a job wherever you like. You don't have to convince your parents these are the right decisions, you just need to tell them that's what you're doing. And I don't think anyone else on this forum is going to be able to suggest an easier solution for you, because unfortunately there isn't an easy solution to this kinda thing. Best of luck!

I’m in term 2 of first year now and my uni experience has been great so far. I’ve met some amazing friends and I love my course. The only problem is it’s too close to home. It’s two hours away from my home town so I’m expected to come home every weekend. It was my only close to home choice and I chose it due to mental health at the time. Now that I’m feeling better I feel as if I’m missing out on the independence others get or the ‘real uni experience’! I’m not going to drop out and reapply or anything, but how do I just stop these feelings of regret???

Two hours is quite a distance (imo) to travel back and forth every weekend.

I honestly think you should keep on pushing your mother to let you stay at uni during the weekend. Is there a reason why your mother insists on you coming home so much to the point where she's actually visiting you if you don't?

I’m in term 2 of first year now and my uni experience has been great so far. I’ve met some amazing friends and I love my course. The only problem is it’s too close to home. It’s two hours away from my home town so I’m expected to come home every weekend. It was my only close to home choice and I chose it due to mental health at the time. Now that I’m feeling better I feel as if I’m missing out on the independence others get or the ‘real uni experience’! I’m not going to drop out and reapply or anything, but how do I just stop these feelings of regret???

Totally agree with this. OP quit working for your parents they are clearly doing this to exert control over you. You need to set boundaries NOW or you will spend you life pleasing them. It may be unpleasant and they will get upset but that’s just tough. What happens when you have a partner and your own family, will they still expect you to visit them every weekend?? It just doesn’t work like that.

I am quite hellbent on making sure they’re happy I’ll admit that! They make it hard though, my dad not so much. If I stay up at uni too long Mum convinces herself it’s because I don’t care about her lol. The plan is once I finish uni is to move away pretty far, to a different country so maybe England or something so that I can finally get independence. Otherwise I think they would expect a lot of visits

Explain 'real uni experience'.

Tell them it's your life and you want to be independent. It's a long way to travel every single week. Quit your job and say you'll visit once a month, even then that's still quite a lot. If you let them control you, they'll never stop well into your adult years.