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Why is it seen as the mans duty to pay for the first date

https://www.facebook.com/LADbible/posts/4487710461276109

In this post people had a go at the bloke for wanting to go halves on the date. Some women want traditional ways and equality when it suits them best, they argue that traditionally the man paid,well using that logic traditionally women didn’t vote and were expected to be housewives so can men expect them to be submissive unequal beings. It shouldn’t be seen as a mans duty to pay for everything, if some women believe that it should then they should be happy with unequal pay since the man has more of a burden.

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Next time you go on a date, order the most expensive meal, eat it and offer nice conversation.
Then as the evening ends, you say you want to go to the toilet and instantly after run away screaming "DOWN WITH THE MATRIARCHAL SOCIETY!" leaving your date to pay for the whole bill and giving her a lesson on stereotyping males.

Alternatively you can go gay, that way you will have no problems with splitting the bill.
Because women only want equality whenever it suits them.
Original post by tremen222
Next time you go on a date, order the most expensive meal, eat it and offer nice conversation.
Then as the evening ends, you say you want to go to the toilet and instantly after run away screaming "DOWN WITH THE MATRIARCHAL SOCIETY!" leaving your date to pay for the whole bill and giving her a lesson on stereotyping males.

Alternatively you can go gay, that way you will have no problems with splitting the bill.


😂😂😂 ah mann ahahhaha I would pay to see her reaction lmao
I'm tradition and have always expected a man to pay for me,at least on the first date. I wouldn't try to take the role of the man or take advantage. I expect the man to lead and be dominant. just how i was raised i guess. Never had any issues thus far.
Original post by queen-bee
I'm tradition and have always expected a man to pay for me,at least on the first date. I wouldn't try to take the role of the man or take advantage. I expect the man to lead and be dominant. just how i was raised i guess. Never had any issues thus far.


So do you also think that, as the woman, you should have to stay at home and shouldn't be allowed to get a job?
Original post by Chief Wiggum
So do you also think that, as the woman, you should have to stay at home and shouldn't be allowed to get a job?


No, I'm talking a controlling guy......just a guy that knows how to handle a woman, be the man of the house etc. who is unfortunately rare to find in modern society. When I get married and have kids, I wouldn't mind staying home if that's what my hubby wants. I'm traditional.
Honestly, as a woman, I don't expect the dude to pay nor would I want to. I'm not his dog that he has to pay for me.
I know some women who pay for their mans meal.......
Reply 9
Avatar for cat_mac
cat_mac
20
I prefer to split or take turns paying.

But I find this “if men have to pay for dates then women shouldn’t be allowed to work or vote” comparison ridiculous. Paying for a date is not the same kind of oppression that women experienced when they were nothing more than a pet for their husbands.

The expectation for men to pay is a good point to raise, if you can put if forward without making a mockery of the struggles women faced while trying to be treated like actual people.
Original post by cat_mac
I prefer to split or take turns paying.

But I find this “if men have to pay for dates then women shouldn’t be allowed to work or vote” comparison ridiculous. Paying for a date is not the same kind of oppression that women experienced when they were nothing more than a pet for their husbands.

The expectation for men to pay is a good point to raise, if you can put if forward without making a mockery of the struggles women faced while trying to be treated like actual people.


But the whole reason men had to pay for women was because women weren't allowed to earn their own money.

So I feel it's an entirely reasonable comparison. Women can earn their own money now (thankfully). Women apparently want equal treatment to men.

So why is there still a sexist societal expectation for men to pay for women? Given that women can earn their own money now, there is simply no reason for that expectation to exist.
Original post by Chief Wiggum
But the whole reason men had to pay for women was because women weren't allowed to earn their own money.

So I feel it's an entirely reasonable comparison. Women can earn their own money now (thankfully). Women apparently want equal treatment to men.

So why is there still a sexist societal expectation for men to pay for women? Given that women can earn their own money now, there is simply no reason for that expectation to exist.


Yep, people blame “tradition” but really it is a sexist expectation to have. However it isn’t on the same level as what happened to women. Comparing it to more surface level sexism like “if I’m expected to pay then she should be expected to wear a dress”.

You’re right, there is no reason for that expectation to exist. But it brings the discussion to an unnecessary point to compare paying a bill to the oppression women faced. Which makes me mad because it’s an important thing for people to be questioning, but if we stoop to that level no one is going to give the discussion any credit.
Reply 12
Avatar for Zarek
Zarek
21
So there is a bit of a tradition and also since a guy more usually does the initial asking then I think there is a logic in 'his treat'. I feel it would be the same principle if a girl did the asking out. After that taking turns is typical or perhaps a split a bit in proportion to relative income. I don't like splitting bills as it is more like a business than giving each other gifts. A bit like buying rounds with you mates. I think in a good relationship this is a non issue. The only issue I have come across is where a girl doesn't want the guy trying to pay for everything because she's not sure how she feels about him.
Reply 13
Avatar for Salma26
Salma26
9
I don't see it as a man's duty to pay for the first date. It's just a nice gesture and nice to be asked. The answer would be most likely be 'No, I'd like to pay my way'.

I ALWAYS go halves.

I empathise with the guys who are expected to do this all the time, puts pressure on you to have constant income to pay for everything, but, you get broke like us as well.

It's just a deep-rooted sort of thinking or expectation, probably where the whole 'breadwinner' thing come from too.
Original post by cat_mac
I prefer to split or take turns paying.

But I find this “if men have to pay for dates then women shouldn’t be allowed to work or vote” comparison ridiculous. Paying for a date is not the same kind of oppression that women experienced when they were nothing more than a pet for their husbands.

The expectation for men to pay is a good point to raise, if you can put if forward without making a mockery of the struggles women faced while trying to be treated like actual people.


Women fight to tackle stereotypes to push for equality which also means tackling male stereotypes, this isn’t about oppression is about men still being held back by certain stereotypes.
Original post by queen-bee
I'm tradition and have always expected a man to pay for me,at least on the first date. I wouldn't try to take the role of the man or take advantage. I expect the man to lead and be dominant. just how i was raised i guess. Never had any issues thus far.


You are traditional which means you just be expected to hold up the old sexist traditions of women, cooking and cleaning for the man and having a meal prepared. I’ve had enough of women picking and choosing the old traditions so they can benefit themselves. Like for instance in countries which a war torn why are women given safety over men first if we are so equal
Original post by Anonymous
Women fight to tackle stereotypes to push for equality which also means tackling male stereotypes, this isn’t about oppression is about men still being held back by certain stereotypes.


Where did I say something that implied otherwise? I agree that men shouldn’t have to pay, I don’t agree in the way people go about talking about it. The “if I have a broken arm, yours should be broken too” attitude isn’t productive.
Reply 17
Avatar for ANM775
ANM775
20
Original post by TheGirlFelonXxXx
I know some women who pay for their mans meal.......




I honestly don't see how a man could go for a first date and have the woman pay for the whole meal

I felt bad enough once when I accidently spent nothing on a date [she got up to get the first round of drinks in [paid], then seemed to get the rest for free because she knew the barman]


If I actually liked the girl, even if the bill was steep and was going to put a dent in my wallet, I would not let her pay the whole meal on a first date
I would never let a man pay for me! I will always spilt 50/50, with no discussion about it.... There are some exceptions:
- If your partner is treating you for your birthday for example? (But the same offer would be given in return in his birthday)
- Sometimes it is just practical for one person to pay in this case they can get this one and I will get the next
- If one of the people in the relationship earns SIGNIFICANTLY more than the other (male or female) then sometimes you could work out an arrangement to go 60-40? But should really choose places to go out they both can afford unless it’s a treat.
Original post by Anonymous
You are traditional which means you just be expected to hold up the old sexist traditions of women, cooking and cleaning for the man and having a meal prepared. I’ve had enough of women picking and choosing the old traditions so they can benefit themselves. Like for instance in countries which a war torn why are women given safety over men first if we are so equal


What's wrong with a woman cooking and preparing a meal for her man? Nothing sexist about her. The guy should help out too. I'm traditional and I like being so. To each their own

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