Is a month long enough for no contact? How do I handle the situation?

Hi,

I'm really in love with this girl, we were talking for about 3 months and everything was going really well, she was genuinely the sweetest and most caring girl I've ever met and I'd do anything for her.

Last week though I hurt her feelings. I didn't mean to but she's kinda shy and wanted to keep the relationship between us and I promised I wouldn't tell anyone but I told a friend and she ended up finding out. She wants space now which I understand and am willing to give it to her as I know I upset her.

How long do you think I should give it? I'm thinking about 6 weeks when the Easter holidays begin, which should be enough time to work everything out and hopefully she can trust me again. I'm really hurt by the whole situation but would a month be long enough or should I really wait longer?

Thanks

Reply 1

Leslie Knope

I wouldnt say 6 weeks, give it for like a week or so. If you extend it, then to her it will give the impression that you dont care anymore or you are not willing to fix the problem

Reply 2

Anonymous #1

Original post by TheGirlFelonXxXx

I wouldnt say 6 weeks, give it for like a week or so. If you extend it, then to her it will give the impression that you dont care anymore or you are not willing to fix the problem

She said she wants space though and I've already tried to apologise but she just said she wants space and surely a week would make it seem as if I wasn't serious about giving her that?

Reply 3

Leslie Knope

Original post by Anonymous

She said she wants space though and I've already tried to apologise but she just said she wants space and surely a week would make it seem as if I wasn't serious about giving her that?

Tbh apologising just makes it worse. She knows that you have tried speaking to her and seems like you did, now its up to her if she can forgive you or not

Reply 4

Cockfosters

Did you call her fat?

Reply 5

Anonymous #1

Original post by TheGirlFelonXxXx

Tbh apologising just makes it worse. She knows that you have tried speaking to her and seems like you did, now its up to her if she can forgive you or not

She said she's forgiven me and understands why I did it but is still hurt and can't trust me yet and wants space so I'm thinking a month should be enough time?

Reply 6

Leslie Knope

Original post by Anonymous

She said she's forgiven me and understands why I did it but is still hurt and can't trust me yet and wants space so I'm thinking a month should be enough time?

So give her the space, she will speak to you when shes ready. You are just gonna have to be patient with her. Pestering her constantly wont help out the situation

Reply 7

Bio 7

You told a friend, I don't see how such a small act could be so bad.

As above though give her maybe two weeks then send a message maybe. Any longer and it may look like you aren't interested.

Reply 8

Anonymous #1

Original post by Bio 7

You told a friend, I don't see how such a small act could be so bad.

As above though give her maybe two weeks then send a message maybe. Any longer and it may look like you aren't interested.

I know it doesn't seem like a big deal but the way she found out was when my friend asked her in a group chat with loads of other people on a video and she was just really embarrassed and shocked as she didn't think anyone knew and I get that from her perspective.

I wanna focus on bettering myself too though as it's been a lot and surely if I do that and give her space, the Easter holidays could be a good opportunity to talk again and re-evaluate everything?

Reply 9

Anonymous #1

Original post by TheGirlFelonXxXx

So give her the space, she will speak to you when shes ready. You are just gonna have to be patient with her. Pestering her constantly wont help out the situation

I've told her if she ever needs me , she can contact me but I think she'll expect me to reinitialise contact and I think 6 weeks should be sufficient.

Reply 10

Leslie Knope

Original post by Anonymous

I've told her if she ever needs me , she can contact me but I think she'll expect me to reinitialise contact and I think 6 weeks should be sufficient.

Like I said, she knows you are still there for her but some girls can get hurt easily, and trust is something that is hard for them, so you need to give her time and Im sure she will trust you again x

Reply 11

Bio 7

Original post by Anonymous

Ok with the extra detail it makes more sense. Maybe a few weeks is better, like you suggested.

Reply 12

Anonymous #1

Original post by TheGirlFelonXxXx

Yeah I think that's exactly it because I broke her trust and hurt her and I still feel awful about that and I think as I was the first guy she's spoken to properly and had feelings for, maybe it'll come back but we'll have to see, I think space will definitely help though.