This is a longish story so please bear with me. Basically, a girl I was infatuated with rejected me 2 years ago when I told her I had feelings for her (we knew other 1 year or so before I told her I liked her). She told me she thought I was fat and wasn't attracted to me but she also told me she thought I was a great guy and wanted to be friends with me.
Yes, I know. But listen to me. I am not mad at her for telling me that. On the contrary, I was sort of grateful. Both for her honesty (which I prefer to giving me a generic and vague excuse which I'd have known was a lie) and because it was clear, from her tone and her general demeanour, that she wasn't trying to hurt me or ridicule me. She genuinely liked me as a person but was honest enough to let me know how she thought of me as a potential bf. Those things are separate and tbh, I myself had a terrible self-image, I knew I looked like ****, it wasn't like I thought I was an Adonis. I wasn't surprised that she rejected me.
Now, 2 years later, I've lost over 100 pounds. In the meantime, I had cut contact with her because I wanted some distance. She's quite popular with guys so I don't think I would've enjoyed seeing her with other men.
We started talking again recently after I received a few likes from her on some of my pics. She asked me if I wanted to get coffee with her so we did. A few days after that, I invited her over to watch a film and we sort of fooled around but I felt uncomfortable and we stopped. She told me she liked me and wanted to take things further but I am not sure I want it anymore. Despite what I said above, I think my ego was hurt and that's why I feel uncomfortable with her. I haven't told her that yet but I might. I still don't know why I don't feel okay with it but as I said, I think it's 'cos she made me feel ...undesirable or smth.
I don't know what to do about it. It was a good thing she told me I had to lose weight. I genuinely wasn't mad at her. But maybe I was mad at myself and still am.
Should I take the wait and see approach (maybe I will feel comfortable after a while) or see a therapist now to talk about it with them? should I let her know I am not ready yet or man up and try again??
Thx