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Bf is giving me the silent treatment? bit long!

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You have behaved remarkably maturely.
You have the high moral ground.

His behaviour that evening was relationship breaking.

I admire your courage for talking about all this on this forum. Hopefully discussing it here will ease the pain a little bit? But I fear that time will be the best healer here.

If I could I'd give you a great big, tender, platonic hug now.
Original post by Dunnig Kruger
You have behaved remarkably maturely.
You have the high moral ground.

His behaviour that evening was relationship breaking.

I admire your courage for talking about all this on this forum. Hopefully discussing it here will ease the pain a little bit? But I fear that time will be the best healer here.

If I could I'd give you a great big, tender, platonic hug now.


Thank you for the support, I appreciate it :smile: The actual assault was mortifying enough to deal with, but what made it harder was his reaction, or should I say no reaction to it. Not one apology from him, which is appalling.
Original post by Anonymous
Yes it's sexual assault and even when I was demanding he stop, he just kept talking about how good it felt? At that point I was mortified. I had to act calm right afterwards and pretended I was over it as he was my only way of getting home, hence I didn't want to cause a scene. I know he's not good for me, and I know the feelings will eventually fade away, or at least I hope so.


Oookay that’s very strange, definitely keep away from him. Just checking, are you over 18?
Yeah the feelings will fade with time, the first part is always the hardest. Just try and get back to your usual self, maybe use it as an opportunity to try a new hobby or whatever, that’s what I always did before and it helped so maybe it might help you too.
Original post by Anonymous
It wasn't really a big argument, it was diffused very quickly but it about something that could be interpreted as very serious. It was something he did which reduced me to tears.

He seemed fine afterwards, he lay on my lap for an hour after whilst I stroked his hair, kissed me etc. Only to not hear from him again. This was only our first ever argument. Our relationship is usually very smooth sailing, he usually called me everyday etc. He's just fallen off the face of the earth. Seems like a bit of an overreaction, I should be the one angry.


If he is blanking you, that’s out of order. He doesn’t seem to care, so just ignore him till he decides to make an effort.
Original post by Anonymous
I wasn't ready to have sex yet. He proceeded to pull down my clothes anyway and attempt to have sex with me anyway whilst I profusely told him to stop about five times until I nearly started crying thinking he was going to actually rape me. Then he backed off and almost sneered at me for almost crying and told me I was pissing him off.

I did calm down after he hugged me, and then he lay on my lap and we talked a little. The situation was diffused, or he would've just gone home. So I'm not sure. That's what I mean, this was done to ME, I was crying, he was the perpetrator here yet he's sulking?

After reading this, you need to speak to a trusted adult if your under 18. If your over 18, speak to a friend or family member - someone who you can trust. It’s important to look after your safety and you probably should cut all ties with him.
Original post by Jenniferann232
Oookay that’s very strange, definitely keep away from him. Just checking, are you over 18?
Yeah the feelings will fade with time, the first part is always the hardest. Just try and get back to your usual self, maybe use it as an opportunity to try a new hobby or whatever, that’s what I always did before and it helped so maybe it might help you too.


Yes I'm over 18. Yeah I'm trying to gradually get over it. I've been trying to shift all of my attention onto my university work or else I just think about him all the time. Plus things like the gym, Netflix etc keep my mind busy too. Getting there!
Original post by MKaur18
If he is blanking you, that’s out of order. He doesn’t seem to care, so just ignore him till he decides to make an effort.


Yeah that's exactly what I'm doing, I don't intend on contacting him again and haven't for a week now. If he reaches out to me to explain, then fair play but he's already destroyed any chance of a reconciliation at this point.
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Original post by Anonymous
I wasn't ready to have sex yet. He proceeded to pull down my clothes anyway and attempt to have sex with me anyway whilst I profusely told him to stop about five times until I nearly started crying thinking he was going to actually rape me. Then he backed off and almost sneered at me for almost crying and told me I was pissing him off.

I did calm down after he hugged me, and then he lay on my lap and we talked a little. The situation was diffused, or he would've just gone home. So I'm not sure. That's what I mean, this was done to ME, I was crying, he was the perpetrator here yet he's sulking?


Up till this point I was wondering how biased this was but there is no excusing his actions and no room for doubt about who was in the wrong.
Even if he tries to get back in touch do not talk to him. He will just try to make you feel guilty and might try blaming you and saying you didn't give him space and all that rubbish. Try to forget about him.
(edited 6 years ago)
Original post by Anonymous
I wasn't ready to have sex yet. He proceeded to pull down my clothes anyway and attempt to have sex with me anyway whilst I profusely told him to stop about five times until I nearly started crying thinking he was going to actually rape me. Then he backed off and almost sneered at me for almost crying and told me I was pissing him off.

I did calm down after he hugged me, and then he lay on my lap and we talked a little. The situation was diffused, or he would've just gone home. So I'm not sure. That's what I mean, this was done to ME, I was crying, he was the perpetrator here yet he's sulking?


This guy sexually assaulted you. And now he's manipulating you by giving you the silent treatment - making you beg for his attention and forgiveness when you did nothing wrong. This isn't something which could be interpreted as serious - it IS serious. I like how he lay in your lap like he needed comforting... Get out of this relationship. And thank god he sent clear signs he was abusive before you investing any more time in him.
I'd personally just block his number.

As mentioned, I'd also talk to someone you trust.

I'd also take it as a hint that you should move on. He really doesn't care about you.
Original post by doodle_333
This guy sexually assaulted you. And now he's manipulating you by giving you the silent treatment - making you beg for his attention and forgiveness when you did nothing wrong. This isn't something which could be interpreted as serious - it IS serious. I like how he lay in your lap like he needed comforting... Get out of this relationship. And thank god he sent clear signs he was abusive before you investing any more time in him.


I know I was so confused when he lay on my lap afterwards. I was thinking why on earth am I sat here comforting him when he should be comforting me? Yeah thankfully his true colours showed as soon as he didn't get his way.
Original post by Tiger Rag
I'd personally just block his number.

As mentioned, I'd also talk to someone you trust.

I'd also take it as a hint that you should move on. He really doesn't care about you.


Yeah he really doesn't. I think women are just disposable objects to him. It's just shocking as it makes me question the entire relationship, and whether I really knew him at all. I'm moving on with my life.
I'm so sorry this happened to you, what a horrible person he is. I'm glad you recognise that what happened is sexual assault and that you're better off without him.

The silent treatment is listed as a subtle form of emotional abuse. You might want to do some research and see if you recognise any other red flag behaviours that he did (If only for the future to help you). You have definitely dodged a dangerous bullet and I'm so relieved that you're rid of him.

I wish you all the best and I hope he never comes back. If he does though, I'm sure you'll show him where to go.
(edited 6 years ago)
Original post by PandaCalavera
I'm so sorry this happened to you, what a horrible person he is. I'm glad you recognise that what happened is sexual assault and that you're better off without him.

The silent treatment is listed as a subtle form of emotional abuse. You might want to do some research and see if you recognise any other red flag behaviours that he did (If only for the future to help you). You have definitely dodged a dangerous bullet and I'm so relieved that you're rid of him.

I wish you all the best and I hope he never comes back. If he does though, I'm sure you'll show him where to go.


Thank you for your support :smile:. I did look up the signs of emotional abuse, and things like feeling like I needed permission from him to do things, blaming me for things I haven't done, always crossing my boundaries and ignoring my requests, being emotionally unavailable, withdrawal for attention, not showing me any empathy etc.. I can relate to many of these signs. Definitely dodged a bullet.
Original post by Anonymous
He is really weird like that. I remember before he'd give me random love bites without asking me, and if I asked why he'd do it, he'd say 'I want you to think about me all day'. I've given up though, it'll be nearly 3 weeks since he spoke to me, and tomorrow marks a week since I've contacted him.


After reading this and the following posts, you are definitely off better without him. He doesn't see or respect you as a person, and his feelings towards women are awful. You need to make a clean break to protect your own happiness and well-being. What he did to you, I would talk to someone about it if you feel ready. Don't keep things and your feelings bottled in. If you have someone to confide in, it will help you express your feelings and move on.

Not all men are like this. There are guys who you will connect with and will treat you with the love and respect you deserve.

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