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My FWB makes crap bacon sarnies :(

I don't know how to tell her. If it was just a single improvement needed, I'd drop her a hint. Being frank, though, her bacon sandwiches are an abomination.

She loves making them for me post-coitus and we eat our sandwiches in bed together and she always says she loves to treat me and asks if it's nice. I always say yes, because I don't have the heart to tell her that the bacon is overcooked and cold; she's been stingy on the bacon and too generous with the marg and ketchup; she always puts pepper in it which ruins it for me; and she uses this horrible granary loaf bread which just isn't meant for bacon.

The first couple of times, I thought oh well, she'll make you one here and there, just deal with it, I'm not actually a fussy eater in the slightest despite what the previous sentence may suggest. I visited her for a few hours this evening though before she went to work, and I've realised that this is going to be a regular thing and I need to nip it in the bud.

Rather than rattle off everything that's wrong with her sandwiches, the only other options are to just flat out say "soz m8 your bacon sarnies are a joke" or tell her to not make me one, which is pretty much guaranteed to hurt her feelings.

:argh: What to do, TSR? Man's bare confused :s-smilie:
(edited 6 years ago)

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make them yourself :h:
or UberEats man!
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Avatar for UWS
UWS
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I guess it wouldn't hurt her feelings if you said you'd prefer it without pepper? I've never heard of that on a bacon sandwich though, that's a deal breaker :lol:
Time for a replacement :mmm:
or one day you 'treat' her to what a good bacon sandwich is like and she'll get the hint?
she is probably just being polite about your sausage as well

:teehee:
Original post by toonervoustotalk
make them yourself :h:
or UberEats man!


That's just the thing, though - I totally would, but I just feel like it'd cause her so much offence. She's of course under no obligation to make me sandwiches and tbh I don't want her to, but SHE wants to and I just don't know how to tell her I don't like her bacon sandwiches in any way, shape or form. I might tell her its my turn to make them next time and see what happens? Maybe get her used to the idea of me making them for a while, then just one day be like "nah, don't fancy one" and then if she wants to make herself one she can go ahead knowing I don't want one... then I could say I've gone off of bacon sandwiches so she doesn't make me them anymore?

Feel like I've answered my own question, here :rofl:

Original post by UWS
I guess it wouldn't hurt her feelings if you said you'd prefer it without pepper? I've never heard of that on a bacon sandwich though, that's a deal breaker :lol:


I mean, pepper doesn't belong there anyway, but it's not the worst thing about them, funnily enough. I HATE overcooked bacon, and all I can taste is this crunchy, leathery, salty stuff in horrible bread slathered with too much margarine. Removing the pepper would be like throwing a deck chair off the sinking Titanic :lol:
Original post by It's****ingWOODY
I don't know how to tell her. If it was just a single improvement needed, I'd drop her a hint. Being frank, though, her bacon sandwiches are an abomination.

She loves making them for me post-coitus and we eat our sandwiches in bed together and she always says she loves to treat me and asks if it's nice. I always say yes, because I don't have the heart to tell her that the bacon is overcooked and cold; she's been stingy on the bacon and too generous with the marg and ketchup; she always puts pepper in it which ruins it for me; and she uses this horrible granary loaf bread which just isn't meant for bacon.

The first couple of times, I thought oh well, she'll make you one here and there, just deal with it, I'm not actually a fussy eater in the slightest despite what the previous sentence may suggest. I visited her for a few hours this evening though before she went to work, and I've realised that this is going to be a regular thing and I need to nip it in the bud.

Rather than rattle off everything that's wrong with her sandwiches, the only other options are to just flat out say "soz m8 your bacon sarnies are a joke" or tell her to not make me one, which is pretty much guaranteed to hurt her feelings.

:argh: What to do, TSR? Man's bare confused :s-smilie:



Stop being a lazy arse an next time you visit take round decent bacon and sausages plus bread. You can then make her breakfast in bed and she can see how superior your version is.
Original post by queen-bee
Time for a replacement :mmm:


That sounds like an offer :sexface:

Original post by CleverSquirrel
or one day you 'treat' her to what a good bacon sandwich is like and she'll get the hint?


I can't say that, that's horrible :rofl:

Original post by the bear
she is probably just being polite about your sausage as well

:teehee:


Oh no, nobody leaves disappointed after a ride on Woody's Wicked Willy :biggrin:
Original post by It's****ingWOODY

Oh no, nobody leaves disappointed after a ride on Woody's Wicked Willy :biggrin:


:hand:

:creep:
Original post by 999tigger
Stop being a lazy arse an next time you visit take round decent bacon and sausages plus bread. You can then make her breakfast in bed and she can see how superior your version is.


Again, though, I just feel like it's an insult. As I said above, though, I think I might offer to do it under the guise of just being a gentleman and taking turns. Hopefully she realises mine are just plain better and I get nominated to make them from then onwards :u:
Original post by It's****ingWOODY
That sounds like an offer :sexface:



I can't say that, that's horrible :rofl:



Oh no, nobody leaves disappointed after a ride on Woody's Wicked Willy :biggrin:


Oh do tell :wink:
Original post by It's****ingWOODY
Again, though, I just feel like it's an insult. As I said above, though, I think I might offer to do it under the guise of just being a gentleman and taking turns. Hopefully she realises mine are just plain better and I get nominated to make them from then onwards :u:


Load of bollox and that is just you being lazy and making excuses. I do hope this is a wind up, just make an effort for goodness sake.

Good ingredients made by you will be harder to mess up.
Original post by It's****ingWOODY
her bacon sandwiches are an abomination.


Ahhh man, I feel your pain. Pretty much everything you stated is the embodiment of a bad bacon sarnie (excepting that I like overcooked bacon).

Best thing I can think of is for the two of you to make sarnies at the same time and you can discuss technique. That way, if ever she seems to be getting a little "hurt of feelings" you could do a quick meat spin to cheer her up.
NoGoodBaconSarnie NoParty

She’s clearly not for you
Original post by It's****ingWOODY
I don't know how to tell her. If it was just a single improvement needed, I'd drop her a hint. Being frank, though, her bacon sandwiches are an abomination.

She loves making them for me post-coitus and we eat our sandwiches in bed together and she always says she loves to treat me and asks if it's nice. I always say yes, because I don't have the heart to tell her that the bacon is overcooked and cold; she's been stingy on the bacon and too generous with the marg and ketchup; she always puts pepper in it which ruins it for me; and she uses this horrible granary loaf bread which just isn't meant for bacon.

The first couple of times, I thought oh well, she'll make you one here and there, just deal with it, I'm not actually a fussy eater in the slightest despite what the previous sentence may suggest. I visited her for a few hours this evening though before she went to work, and I've realised that this is going to be a regular thing and I need to nip it in the bud.

Rather than rattle off everything that's wrong with her sandwiches, the only other options are to just flat out say "soz m8 your bacon sarnies are a joke" or tell her to not make me one, which is pretty much guaranteed to hurt her feelings.

:argh: What to do, TSR? Man's bare confused :s-smilie:


Tell her you turned vegan.
Of allllllllllllllllllllllll the things a FWB could/would let you down on; For you OP it's how she makes Bacon Butties.
Are bacon butties your staple food or something?
Original post by 999tigger
Load of bollox and that is just you being lazy and making excuses. I do hope this is a wind up, just make an effort for goodness sake.

Good ingredients made by you will be harder to mess up.


You don't seem to understand. I'm more than happy to make the ****ing sandwiches. However, she loves making me food and stuff, she says it's basically her way of feeling wanted and useful and any good woman should make her man food. I mean, that's not my view, but if that's what she likes to do then go for it. I'm just trying to figure out how to broach the subject of not eating her crappy bacon sandwiches anymore without hurting her feelings. I've already came up with some solutions in this thread as to what might work and spitballing it with people, I don't see where the idea that it's a wind-up might be coming from.
Original post by Bulletzone
Of allllllllllllllllllllllll the things a FWB could/would let you down on; For you OP it's how she makes Bacon Butties.
Are bacon butties your staple food or something?


They're not a staple food, but that's precisely why I don't want to eat them anymore. Not only are they generally not my favourite food anyway unless made nicely, but hers are horrid and I just want to find a way to refuse them without hurting her feelings.
Original post by It's****ingWOODY
You don't seem to understand. I'm more than happy to make the ****ing sandwiches. However, she loves making me food and stuff, she says it's basically her way of feeling wanted and useful and any good woman should make her man food. I mean, that's not my view, but if that's what she likes to do then go for it. I'm just trying to figure out how to broach the subject of not eating her crappy bacon sandwiches anymore without hurting her feelings. I've already came up with some solutions in this thread as to what might work and spitballing it with people, I don't see where the idea that it's a wind-up might be coming from.


I do but am flabbergasted you cant use the woody charm to intervene.

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