The Student Room Group

Housemate hasn't invited us to her party downstairs?

I thought we were all reasonably close friends (admittedly not as close as we were last year) and normally if there's a party we all know about it. She's been prepping the house all day for a party tonight but hasn't even mentioned it to any of us? I feel really awkward about it. We bumped into each other earlier as I was going up the stairs and did the usual 'alright' but she didn't mention anything.
And now I feel awkward going downstairs because she's still prepping the party with her friend and sister. I feel like she may invite me out of politeness if she sees me once the party has started but I wouldn't really feel welcome. So I'd have to make up some excuse.
Do you think this is odd behaviour?
Wish I had made plans tonight because now I'm going to just have to stay in my room all night. Fair enough if she didn't want to invite us and just have her course friends but she could have mentioned it so we knew our evenings would be ruined.
They're literally coming up and down the stairs all evening getting ready and sorting things downstairs so I can't even make dinner.

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girls are snakes
Reply 2
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Anonymous #1
OP
Original post by YouAreAYute
girls are snakes


Lol ikr, it's her birthday on Tuesday, was going to do a nice facebook post. Still will say happy birthday of course but feels a bit weird.
Original post by Anonymous
Lol ikr, it's her birthday on Tuesday, was going to do a nice facebook post. Still will say happy birthday of course but feels a bit weird.


send one x at the end of the para instead of xxx
so she's just randomly setting up a partying where you live aswell and didn't tell you ?
I'd have though you invite yourself. Its a shared house.
Just come in in the middle of the party and make dinner
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Original post by Ray_Shadows
so she's just randomly setting up a partying where you live aswell and didn't tell you ?


Yeah seems like there's going to be around 30-40 people so not just pre drinks. People have already started arriving.
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Anonymous #1
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Original post by 999tigger
I'd have though you invite yourself. Its a shared house.


Didn't know it was happening til today. Technically am invited if it's in my own house but when nothing has been mentioned to you, you don't feel like you are invited. Really awkward if I do bump into people and they ask out of politeness if I'm coming out and I'm like 'I didn't even know this was happening...'
Original post by Anonymous
Yeah seems like there's going to be around 30-40 people so not just pre drinks. People have already started arriving.


maybe she assumes you guys are gonna be there regardless so u don't need an invite , i would just go downstairs and socialise , then talk to her about it afterwards
Original post by gigi77774
Just come in in the middle of the party and make dinner


Lol no chance, I'm going to have to order a takeaway.
Original post by Ray_Shadows
maybe she assumes you guys are gonna be there regardless so u don't need an invite , i would just go downstairs and socialise , then talk to her about it afterwards


I don't think so. I would think that if she mentioned she was having the party but didn't formally invite us. But when she hasn't said a word to us about it all week, it's a bit odd. Last year for her birthday we had a party and we were all invited on the facebook event even though we planned it with her. I'm not even close to the people she has invited, but if she had told us I could have been mentally prepared and maybe invited a mate to join.
Original post by Anonymous
Didn't know it was happening til today. Technically am invited if it's in my own house but when nothing has been mentioned to you, you don't feel like you are invited. Really awkward if I do bump into people and they ask out of politeness if I'm coming out and I'm like 'I didn't even know this was happening...'


Take some drink and ask. bad deal feeling awkward in your house, shes hardly going to say no.
Original post by 999tigger
Take some drink and ask. bad deal feeling awkward in your house, shes hardly going to say no.


Would feel a bit pathetic asking. I don't even want to join the party because I've got loads of work, I just find it really weird that she hasn't mentioned anything. Especially as there's a bedroom downstairs (luckily that housemate is at her boyfriend's but the party host wouldn't have known whether or not she'd be there).
Original post by Anonymous
Would feel a bit pathetic asking. I don't even want to join the party because I've got loads of work, I just find it really weird that she hasn't mentioned anything. Especially as there's a bedroom downstairs (luckily that housemate is at her boyfriend's but the party host wouldn't have known whether or not she'd be there).


Make your mind up.
If you want to mention it after, then you might find she said she assumed youd invite yourself.
Original post by Anonymous
Yeah seems like there's going to be around 30-40 people so not just pre drinks. People have already started arriving.


Even if she wasnt going to invite you, its rude to not tell you in advance.

I had a room mate who had hockey society meetings in the common living area, the 3rd time it happend, I asked her to give me a heads up, so it wasn't awkward me cooking and stuff.
Original post by 999tigger
Make your mind up.
If you want to mention it after, then you might find she said she assumed youd invite yourself.


I'm not going to mention anything to her. I don't want to go because none of us have been invited even though we would normally talk about that kind of stuff.
She definitely hasn't assumed, because how would we even know about it.
Just never seen anything like it. Every party I've been to, everyone in the house/flat is aware. Whether they want to join or not. I just think it's strange behaviour and not very polite.
It'd be fine if she told us and we didn't want to go and stayed in our rooms all night. But she hasn't said anything and it's just been sprung on us. I only know because I've been home all day. One of my other housemates has been at work all day and only just come back. Normally has a long shower, makes dinner and chills in front of the telly. So her evening is ruined.
Aight bun everyone elses advice follow this nig*as advice @YouAreAYute. Take a rep or the solid advice. I will say this though you should give her the silent treatement oh and watch out for her she may be a snake but I assume your a respectable person so check up on her every now and then cause if it is a house party then your gonna wanna make sure that no one takes advantage of her. You should know what i'm referring to by now. Aight........
Original post by hannah00
Even if she wasnt going to invite you, its rude to not tell you in advance.

I had a room mate who had hockey society meetings in the common living area, the 3rd time it happend, I asked her to give me a heads up, so it wasn't awkward me cooking and stuff.


Yeah exactly I think it's common courtesy to give your housemates a heads up. Not necessary if it's just a few people round but a big party? Bit inconsiderate. Our house is small as well.
Yeah, I think it's rude that she didn't even give you a "heads up" warning, to make you aware that there'd be lots of people coming.

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