Why do women want gender equality in the workplace, but not in dating?

In Canada, for instance, women weren't considered 'Persons' until 1929.

Would you agree that, despite them not being considered persons, terminating their life prior to 1929 without their permission would be considered wrong and bad?

But those woman were alive, it all depends on when you think a foetus is ‘alive’

Yes, women who do approach men are usually doing it for an ulterior motive or as a piss-take.

Same goes for dating sites - it's basically always going to be a gay/bi man posing as a woman.

But if you make it clear you're serious, genuine and not trying to mess him around (and in online dating, you actually prove you're a real girl by going on webcam), the guy will be more than pleased you made the first move.

Also men have higher sex drives, which explains why men are more likely to pursue women than the other way around.


Just a sidepoint: online dating is awful for men. Odds are stacked heavily against you.

A foetus is “alive” at conception...

This is what I don't understand about the modern day gender equality/feminism movement. They want equality in some areas, but other areas they are happy for things to stay the same as long as they receive the benefit.

Women want equal treatment in the workplace with their male colleagues. They want equal pay (FWIW the gender pay gap is a myth - same job for same hours get paid the same, otherwise it's illegal), they don't want to experience sexual harassment in the workplace (what about all the false accusations which ruin men's careers?), they want the same opportunities men have, they want equal opportunities for promotion (despite many of them taking time off for maternity leave).

This is all fair enough. Except they don't want equality in dating. Men are still expected to:

- ask the woman out and face possible rejection (women might give subtle hints, but under no circumstances will they ask the man out - that is "his job"
- pay for the first date (and possible subsequent dates as well)
- propose to the woman
- treat her with meals/gifts
- hold open the door for her
- give up his coat if she's cold, so he can freeze (but never the other way around)
- put the majority of effort into sex (this is centered around pleasing the woman - the man's enjoyment is always assumed)
- be manly and dominant, never show any weak emotions, keep his problems bottled up because otherwise it's "unmanly"
- household chores must now be shared. Women no longer have to do all the cooking and cleaning, it's shared equally between men, because otherwise it's gender discrimination/oppression. Despite the fact men are still seen as the primary breadwinner in the household and a man without a job is a virtual disaster.


So back to the original question: Why do women want gender equality in the workplace (and indeed many other areas), but not in dating? I'm interested to hear to views of men, women and any feminists.

Being 'alive' in a nominal sense isn't the same as being a person. You have made it clear you regard a fertilised egg as a person but plenty of us don't.

Being 'alive' in a nominal sense isn't the same as being a person. You have made it clear you regard a fertilised egg as a person but plenty of us don't.

Can you tell me what you think are the fundamental determinants that show proof of life?

That's not an easy one to answer to everyone's satisfaction but whether or not a foetus is alive at any given point isn't the same thing as determining whether or not it is a person. In any event we can hardly describe a foetus as an independently existing living thing until birth at best.

All of what you say is true, but it does show that there is a lot of negativity attached to women making moves on men.

If I am in a night club and a woman hits on me, I'm not gonna lie, my immediate thought will be "wow, she must be easy". As I say, this is for the simple fact that women don't need to go after men, so for her to come up to me I immediately assume it's something she must do all the time.

Whether it's fine for someone to sleep around or not is a different story, but that is my initial thought and it would take a lot to change it. So if the woman happens to be genuine then it makes it harder for her and that's a shame, it really shouldn't be like that.

I'm not single any more, but if I was, I would love it if society would allow for women to make moves on men, because I for one don't like doing it.

...Now, I assume that everyone would accept both elements as the key determinants of human life..

That assumption is an error. Of course a growing foetus will have emergent functioning organs like a heart and brain but these do not of themselves constitute either independent life (as at birth) or personhood.

So basically you think it's weird for a woman to approach a man. That's your point of view. Plenty of women approach men and plenty of men have no problem with that. Plenty even like it. Society does allow it...and apps like Bumble are making it increasingly normal. Also women can approach men in a non-nightclub setting...

It strikes me that any weird outdated opinions on this thread are only expressed by male voices. All the women here are disagreeing with every backwards comment. I know plenty of forward-thinking, progressive men, just not apparently on the student room!

Also 'women don't need to go after men' - what the heck? Some men are shy, some men don't chat girls up, some men don't approach girls at all. What do you think we just wait around like wilting wallflowers and don't bother to approach anyone we might think is interesting ever? It's not as if women only ever approach someone if they're interested in them romantically either. In my experience few men approach women - it's a daunting prospect - particularly to approach a random group of people you don't know. It's daunting both for men and women to approach someone of the opposite sex they might be interested in, but both seem to manage it.

Why are all the boys on this thread propagating this outdated notion of masculinity like they've been reading some kind of 1950s etiquette manual? Perhaps it's because they have little experience of women?

I never said it was weird. I even said I wish it was perfectly fine, but there is no way you can tell me that is has become perfectly normalised yet. I want it to be normal, I have said this.

You are taking some of my comments too literally. It is common knowledge that, in general, it is the man that goes after the woman. It is like that in pretty much every society in the world. Surely you aren't disputing that?

Because it is not the 'norm' for women to go after men, is it surprising that I may think there is an ulterior motive when they do?

So then it is okay to murder a 9 month old unborn child still in there mother’s womb?...

Well, this is why current abortion laws set a time limit from conception, because the emergence of personhood is accepted as gaining enough significance prior to birth.

I suppose it depends who you speak to as to what is 'normal'. As I've said, in my experience, I don't know many men that are forthright in going after women necessarily. I haven't seen it work out that way. It would probably be normal to an older generation. Not so for the current generation or incoming generations.

What would an ulterior motive be? That seems comical to me.

To be honest if every girl just waited for a guy to approach her, they could be waiting an awfully long time...maybe you're super skilled at approaching girls, but loads of guys don't feel confident doing that.

The time limit is 24 weeks or 6 months, don't you think a 5 month unborn child is good enough to not be killed?

It's not a child, it's a foetus.

Answer the question. Do you think it is okay for it to be killed?