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Boyfriend tells you he needs a side chick

I'm a Christian and I've been telling my boyfriend I want to have a non sexual relationship. I've been telling him for a while now but yesterday he said " it's either I get a side chick and keep our relationship tight or we have sex". I'm not comfortable with my boyfriend having side chicks. I told him it's either he chooses me or side chick. He said both, he said he wants me but can't leave without sex and it's hard to leave sex. And he's serious about getting a side chick. What should I do about this.
Should I leave who i am, my morals and have sex. Or let him get a side chick but i will be suffering inside knowing he's with other girls

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break up with him
Reply 2
Avatar for UWS
UWS
21
Don't stay with someone who gives you an ultimatum. It sounds like you're after different things.
respect yourself and do not accept pressure on you!
Reply 4
Avatar for Bham369
Bham369
18
Original post by Anonymous
I'm a Christian and I've been telling my boyfriend I want to have a non sexual relationship. I've been telling him for a while now but yesterday he said " it's either I get a side chick and keep our relationship tight or we have sex". I'm not comfortable with my boyfriend having side chicks. I told him it's either he chooses me or side chick. He said both, he said he wants me but can't leave without sex and it's hard to leave sex. And he's serious about getting a side chick. What should I do about this.
Should I leave who i am, my morals and have sex. Or let him get a side chick but i will be suffering inside knowing he's with other girls

Get rid of him. If he can't respect your wishes he doesn't deserve you.
You should be with someone who respects you. Out of curiosity though, why don't you want a sexual relationship?
Original post by Anonymous
I'm a Christian and I've been telling my boyfriend I want to have a non sexual relationship. I've been telling him for a while now but yesterday he said " it's either I get a side chick and keep our relationship tight or we have sex". I'm not comfortable with my boyfriend having side chicks. I told him it's either he chooses me or side chick. He said both, he said he wants me but can't leave without sex and it's hard to leave sex. And he's serious about getting a side chick. What should I do about this.
Should I leave who i am, my morals and have sex. Or let him get a side chick but i will be suffering inside knowing he's with other girls


He sounds like a ****, and you sound like you deserve a lot better than that. Get rid of him - you'll find someone much better than that.
Reply 7
Avatar for rita56
rita56
6
He have no respect for you and your believe. You deserve so muchhhhhhhh batter girl just get rid of him, don't let anyone to pressure you.
Tell him to **** off
Original post by Anonymous
I'm a Christian and I've been telling my boyfriend I want to have a non sexual relationship. I've been telling him for a while now but yesterday he said " it's either I get a side chick and keep our relationship tight or we have sex". I'm not comfortable with my boyfriend having side chicks. I told him it's either he chooses me or side chick. He said both, he said he wants me but can't leave without sex and it's hard to leave sex. And he's serious about getting a side chick. What should I do about this.
Should I leave who i am, my morals and have sex. Or let him get a side chick but i will be suffering inside knowing he's with other girls


break up with him now!
At least he has been honest with you instead of just cheating on you. He is a class A **** but it could have been worse!

Either way you want different things from the relationship, just break it off and find someone who is happy to respect your wishes and wait.
Reply 11
Avatar for Bio 7
Bio 7
21
Well it sounds like you aren't right for him. You should break up.
Everyone's being very critical of the guy. I agree what he said might seem hurtful and a bit tactless but at least he is being very honest. It sounds like he really likes you as a person but also has a great need for sex and still wants you around even if he has to look elsewhere to fulfill his sexual desires.

Obviously his strong wish for sex and your wish for abstinence is at odds with each other, so if you can't deal with him having sex with someone else (as most people couldn't, but some people are happy with this sort of thing) then it sounds like you probably have to break up with him...
You don’t do either of those things you stated in your post. You tell him to grow the **** up and dump his sorry arse
Reply 14
Avatar for Bio 7
Bio 7
21
Original post by Hailster92
You don’t do either of those things you stated in your post. You tell him to grow the **** up and dump his sorry arse


That seems quite harsh on him. Their feelings on the matter are opposed so he is asking permission to satisfy his desire elsewhere so she doesn't have to. The relationship should just be ended given the case but it seems so many people are against him for little reason.
Original post by Bio 7
That seems quite harsh on him. Their feelings on the matter are opposed so he is asking permission to satisfy his desire elsewhere so she doesn't have to. The relationship should just be ended given the case but it seems so many people are against him for little reason.


Against him for little reason? I disagree - pressuring someone into sex and giving a person an ultimatum such as this is simply not fair. If he wants to have sex so badly, he should end the relationship and go have sex with someone
If you don't want to have sex, you shouldn't be forced to - your boyfriend should respect your views. Letting him get a "side chick" - do you think you can cope with this? Honestly, I think it is better for you to part ways so you can find what you both want.
Reply 17
Avatar for Bio 7
Bio 7
21
Original post by Hailster92
Against him for little reason? I disagree - pressuring someone into sex and giving a person an ultimatum such as this is simply not fair. If he wants to have sex so badly, he should end the relationship and go have sex with someone


I do agree the relationship should be ended, and he certainly should see that and be willing to do it. But I still feel people are being harsher than necessary since he hasn't actually cheated on her as far as we know and all he has done is ask and push it a bit.

I'm not trying to defend him completely but merely point out how harsh people are towards him.
(edited 6 years ago)
Original post by rita56
He have no respect for you and your believe. You deserve so muchhhhhhhh batter girl just get rid of him, don't let anyone to pressure you.


Attachment not found
Original post by Bio 7
I do agree the relationship should be ended, and he certainly should see that and be willing to do it. But I still feel people are being harsher than necessary since he hasn't actually cheated on her as far as we know and all he has done is ask and push it a bit.

I'm not trying to defend him completely but merely point out how harsh people are towards him.


It’s the lack of respect for her and her beliefs and views that I take serious issue with. He’s totally invalidating her beliefs and wishes and that’s wrong. It’s disrespectful and if my partner tried this, he’d be out on his ear. If she chooses to agree to him having sex with someone else to keep her relationship, that is her choice and I won’t argue with it - but it’s the total lack of respect that riles me, as from my experience that would only worsen should the relationship continue

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