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'Prestigious' uni or being near girlfriend? Help!

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Reply 20
Original post by louisedrake
Psychology for myself and Criminology for her.


And how does she feel about it?

My recco is to pick the course(s) at the universities that you each prefer the most.
Original post by louisedrake
Her choices are Greenwich/Sussex - I'm not going to drag her to the nearest uni for my own convenience.


But she's going to drag you to the nearest uni for her convenience? Sounds like you both are going to have to make sacrifices, and her rando unis are highly interchangeable for a rando uni up north.

Why doesn't she have a go at Durham criminology? Trust me, its admission practices are a joke.
Original post by louisedrake
Thanks for your reply, and you're most probably right. I'm just very scared of regretting my decision and not enjoying Sussex/Goldsmiths and being angry at myself for making the wrong decision.


There ae prestigious unis in the south which you could have applied to. Why were you looking so far away in the first place? Your estimate of journey time is wildly inaccurate.
I really believe this choice is down to you. If you both love each other then the distance will be of little concern; she will understand and you will make it work regardless of how difficult it may be. Equally, you have got to pick the right course and University for you. You could be in a situation in the future where you plan your life around one person, picking closer Uni's etc, and then you end up breaking up with your partner... leaving you then wondering why you didn't take academic opportunities elsewhere -- a very similar thing to me happened, and you don't want to have to second guess yourself or think you'd wish you'd done something else. Have a think, talk to people (aside from your girlfriend) about their opinions, visit both Uni's and see where your heart lies. If you're still being torn between all of this, it's because your head is saying to go to a more "prestigious" Uni whilst your heart is saying to stay. Just remember that heartache is short term, but mental regret lasts much longer. Good luck! :smile:
(edited 6 years ago)
I am slowly learning, from watching you, what it takes to be OG. Hope you don't mind.
Playing devils advocate, say you do choose the university close to your girlfriend and you then split up? You are stuck in a university you didn’t want close to a person you don’t like anymore. Usually I would advise you to follow your heart, in this case be selfish and do what you think is best for you. Education is forever
Original post by louisedrake
Her choices are Greenwich/Sussex - I'm not going to drag her to the nearest uni for my own convenience.


Is she facing a similar dilemma to you? It's only fair she is.

It seems like you're worrying about choosing between university and personal life but she isn't?
Reply 27
OP is also a she.

@louisedrake you have the option of universities such as KCL, QMUL, RHUL, Surrey, Bristol, Bath (or similar) via Extra. (UCL appears not to be in Extra.)
(edited 6 years ago)
Original post by KanyesVest
Playing devils advocate, say you do choose the university close to your girlfriend and you then split up? You are stuck in a university you didn’t want close to a person you don’t like anymore. Usually I would advise you to follow your heart, in this case be selfish and do what you think is best for you. Education is forever


Exactly. I don't think you should go to one close to your girlfriend just because. It should be the uni you're happy at.

What's wrong with trying LDR? It's not like you can't Skype or call each other or you're in different time zones.
Original post by Anonymous
Say goodbye to your girlfriend. A relationship should never hinder your goals.


Callous. Maybe she's in love.
Forget life, Forget education. Come join the people's Repulic of China and revolt against the evil capitalists in the west
Reply 31
CUG ranks Bath above Durham & StA for Psych, as does Times Good Uni - but yes I 100% agree.
Thanks for telling me I've ****ed up! Makes a difficult decision even easier :smile:
Also - I'm a girl. Lesbians exist. Always glad to help someone learn. :smile:
I didn't pick those unis for her - they were my choice when I applied a while ago for a different year before I even knew her, so I would never pick a uni just for someone else. Conveniently, Sussex and Goldsmiths are close to her, but that's just coincidence. The education will not vary greatly - it's still uni, Sussex ranks quite well for Psych (in my research, might be a little outdated), but I'm wondering whether the 'prestige' is all it's cracked up to be.
If you have the grades to go to St Andrews or Durham then I think it would be a huge waste of your potential to settle for Goldsmiths or Sussex. I can tell you from my own experience that entry requirements are there for a reason. I met the absolute minimum entry requirements (in Clearing) for my first uni, and found the course quite easy. I felt like most people on the course were on the same academic level as me or maybe just below me i.e had the same questions, struggled with the same topics etc. I transferred to another uni in second year and I definitely didn't meet the standard A Level entry requirements. I'm doing the exact same course, but I feel standards are slightly higher at this university i.e students ask much more challenging questions and overall the content seems a lot more difficult than what I would have been studying at my first uni. However, I do enjoy it because I find it much more stimulating than the course at my first uni.

What I'm trying to say is that X course at Goldsmiths is not taught in the same way as X course at Durham or St Andrews. Each university tailors the course to their average student. Yes, the degree is more or less to the same standard and you learn the same essential/core topics, but a course where the average A Level grades are CCC won't be taught the same way as a course where the average student already has an A* in the subject at A Level.
I don't think you'll enjoy your course knowing that you had an opportunity to study with people on the same level as you and to live up to your full potential. Also it would probably be healthy for you to move away from your girlfriend anyway and create a social life of your own, after doing everything together for the last 2 years.
My take is talk to your gf about it. You should have done this when choosing in the first place and you could have avoided the issue.

You need to be a particular type of committed t make it work. It is possible and not easy. It is a silly situation to get yourself into.
She should really move up to a better uni in the north. Depends how much you value each other.

Stupid situation to get yourself into.
Original post by norgaardd
Is she facing a similar dilemma to you? It's only fair she is.

It seems like you're worrying about choosing between university and personal life but she isn't?


Lots of people worried that she is dragging me 'down South' - I picked these unis a long time ago, before I even knew her. They are my choice and if anything she is pushing me to go for the more 'prestigious' unis.
Original post by Doonesbury
OP is also a she.

@louisedrake you have the option of universities such as KCL, QMUL, RHUL, Surrey, Bristol, Bath (or similar) via Extra. (UCL appears not to be in Extra.)


My grades aren't up for that, I'm afraid - I missed a lot of school last year and so have a B, and am predicted A*A for this year, but then again the availability of my choices isn't the issue, I'm happy to go to any of those 4 choices - my dilemma is whether the 'prestige' of St. A/Durham is worth a lot of mixing up of my life (changing of routine, losing a nearby best friend etc) when I've put in a lot of hard work in this relationship. It's a long term thing and so we wouldn't break up but it would be really, really hard.
Reply 38
Original post by louisedrake
I didn't pick those unis for her - they were my choice when I applied a while ago for a different year before I even knew her, so I would never pick a uni just for someone else. Conveniently, Sussex and Goldsmiths are close to her, but that's just coincidence. The education will not vary greatly - it's still uni, Sussex ranks quite well for Psych (in my research, might be a little outdated), but I'm wondering whether the 'prestige' is all it's cracked up to be.


How does that work? You picked your universities over 2 years ago and didn't review them before you actually applied this year?

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Reply 39
Original post by louisedrake
My grades aren't up for that, I'm afraid - I missed a lot of school last year and so have a B, and am predicted A*A for this year, but then again the availability of my choices isn't the issue, I'm happy to go to any of those 4 choices - my dilemma is whether the 'prestige' of St. A/Durham is worth a lot of mixing up of my life (changing of routine, losing a nearby best friend etc) when I've put in a lot of hard work in this relationship. It's a long term thing and so we wouldn't break up but it would be really, really hard.


Have you asked Bath? Their typical offer is A*AA/AAA. A*AB may well be acceptable.

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