Reacting to a friend-zone ...

I been good friends with girl for just under 6 months and we get on real well. However from the day i met her i had a crush on her and yesterday i told her about this. And i got friend zoned and she said i see you as very good friend, almost like a brother.

However i have this really big crush on her and find myself sexual attracted to her. And i don't think i can be just her friend.

Would it be alright and not cu*tish of me to just ignore her and break our friendship with her cause i don't see her just as friend?

Reply 1

PlayWithMarkers

14

Seems like a **** move on your part. Surely having a friend is worth more than nothing? The idea the friend zone even exists is backwards... a friend is a good thing, it's something you want, and if you two get on 'real well' then surely that's worth keeping even if you don't get to go further?

Reply 2

3121

21

Yes, if your friendship started out because you had a crush on her then it’s not platonic at all. Spend time apart and you can either come back and be friends if that’ll satisfy you or you can just forget about her, whichever sits best with you. But truth is, you never were really friends, you just hid your feelings to get close to her in hopes of something else.

Reply 3

Anonymous #1

OP

Original post by PlayWithMarkers

Seems like a **** move on your part. Surely having a friend is worth more than nothing? The idea the friend zone even exists is backwards... a friend is a good thing, it's something you want, and if you two get on 'real well' then surely that's worth keeping even if you don't get to go further?

I always seen her as a person i would be in a relationship with, maybe that's why i got on well with her? :/

Reply 4

Zarek

21

I think the best thing is not to actively unfriend her, that's unfair and petulant, but to find a bit more space from her. There is something deeply unsatisfactory about being in the friendzone, its vaguely humiliating and the hope never quite goes away and leads to ongoing angst. Fine to be active friends again, once you have a girlfriend, if it still matters then.

(edited 6 years ago)

Reply 5

Anonymous #2

Original post by Anonymous

I been good friends with girl for just under 6 months and we get on real well. However from the day i met her i had a crush on her and yesterday i told her about this. And i got friend zoned and she said i see you as very good friend, almost like a brother.

However i have this really big crush on her and find myself sexual attracted to her. And i don't think i can be just her friend.

Would it be alright and not cu*tish of me to just ignore her and break our friendship with her cause i don't see her just as friend?

No, I think you should do that. You shouldn't just be her friend just for her benefit.

Speaking of 'friend-zoning', I have a friend that I'm starting to get close with, but I only see him as a friend. I think he sees more, but anyways, what do you think is the best way to let you know she didn't like you? Or would you have still told her you liker her?

Reply 6

hannah00

18

sure you can stop hanging out with her(quite a good idea if you have feelings) but to just straight up ignore her would be a bit of *****y move.

Reply 7

Anonymous #1

OP

Original post by Anonymous

No, I think you should do that. You shouldn't just be her friend just for her benefit.

Speaking of 'friend-zoning', I have a friend that I'm starting to get close with, but I only see him as a friend. I think he sees more, but anyways, what do you think is the best way to let you know she didn't like you? Or would you have still told her you liker her?

There is no good way, however the earlier you indicate to him that you only see him as friend the better. It less humiliating than getting rejected.

Reply 8

flabi

17

Be honest with her, don't just start ignoring her and not hanging out with her. Let her know how you're feeling, and if you need to space to get over your feelings then communicate that to her, otherwise she'll be hurt and think of herself as a bad friend or a person who exists just to satisfy your relationship wants

Reply 9

SMEGGGY

21

Tell her you can't be friends due to your desire for her. Silly ***** can lose you forever, for not loving you.

Reply 10

OliviaMH00

9

Original post by Anonymous

I been good friends with girl for just under 6 months and we get on real well. However from the day i met her i had a crush on her and yesterday i told her about this. And i got friend zoned and she said i see you as very good friend, almost like a brother.

However i have this really big crush on her and find myself sexual attracted to her. And i don't think i can be just her friend.

Would it be alright and not cu*tish of me to just ignore her and break our friendship with her cause i don't see her just as friend?

No I don’t think it’s a bad move. Because truth be told, if you can’t get over the feelings you have for her, it won’t be a stable friendship. You both want different things and it’s better if you split in a civil manner.

Reply 11

Spongebob'sPants

14

Original post by OliviaMH00

No I don’t think it’s a bad move. Because truth be told, if you can’t get over the feelings you have for her, it won’t be a stable friendship. You both want different things and it’s better if you split in a civil manner.

Agree with this. You wont ever be content, so just move away from her. It will be better for the both of you, in the long term.

Reply 12

Taka345

7

It's weird bro, I know ppl who just ignore them and don't give them attention and as soon as that's happened the person that friendzoned them comes running back to get attention (sexual circumstances after that) so idek

Reply 13

Anonymous #1

OP

Original post by Taka345

It's weird bro, I know ppl who just ignore them and don't give them attention and as soon as that's happened the person that friendzoned them comes running back to get attention (sexual circumstances after that) so idek

So there is any chance for me?? :smile:

nah but seriously, i think its better if we aren't friends or anything more

Reply 14

UWS

21

I don't think it's bad that you're just ending the friendship because she rejected you, I can understand that you're after different things and it may help you with coping.

However, you don't have to be a knob about it and tell it to her face. Slowly distance yourself and over time you'll just drift apart.

Reply 15

Anonymous #1

OP

Original post by UWS

I don't think it's bad that you're just ending the friendship because she rejected you, I can understand that you're after different things and it may help you with coping.

However, you don't have to be a knob about it and tell it to her face. Slowly distance yourself and over time you'll just drift apart.

i am not telling her anything...

Reply 16

bones-mccoy

19

There's no such thing as the "friend zone", you fancied her and she said she only sees you as a friend. There's nothing more to it.

If she respects you, she'll understand that sometimes it can be too painful/awkward to be friends after a rejection. Maybe you'll reconnect in the future.

Reply 17

vice2vursa

3

Original post by bones-mccoy

There's no such thing as the "friend zone", you fancied her and she said she only sees you as a friend. There's nothing more to it.

If she respects you, she'll understand that sometimes it can be too painful/awkward to be friends after a rejection. Maybe you'll reconnect in the future.