TSR can you help me get out of my social awkwardness?

Who are the people you surround yourself around? Are they the same like you? Or much different in personality

I go to sixth form, I am friends with about 75% of my year group and I am well known. I share common interests with my friends, tbh not identical in personality, but not different.

What were you like in Secondary? The same as now or much different? And by 'awkward' is it when you are around certain people or random?

give me an example of something you do that might be considered socially awkward.

Hmm many years ago, definitely much worse than I am now. If that even makes sense

What triggered the 'awkwardness'? If you don't mind me asking

Speaking not knowing what to say so awkward laughing

Also, another thing I'd like to mention: If you have bad posture, dress awkwardly and out of shape people will assume you are socially awkward before you speak. So they won't really give you much of a chance to show your savvyness. This usually means one-word responses/short conversations/lots of awkward silences. Its sort of like guilty until proven innocent except its very hard to prove yourself innocent in this case.

I go to the gym and I try to stand upright chin up so posture =no problemo. Sometimes I feel like I am the one giving short answers and awkward silences

Is it when you're making small talk you sometimes give short answers or have nothing to say? Or is it with deep conversations?

Small talk

Are they sometimes like this?

Assuming its after a work break or the uni summer vacation:

You: "Hey man, how was your holiday?"
Me: "It was good, you?"
You: "Good."
End of conversation

Don't say "just be yourself". I believe I am like this because of habits I have built up over the years.

I like talking, its just that I either make a fool of myself and get laughed at or I don't know what to say.

Also this is why I think I am socially awkward....:

1.) Often I would talk and when I don't know what to say I end up laughing which = awkward I guess.

2.) I have improved my eye contact, especially when its someone talking to me. Although, in spontaneous conversations I probably end up looking into space like all over the place.

3.) People see me as awkward. Honestly, I never used to see myself as awkward. Except someone once said to me "everything about you is awkward", also someone told me "you are the most socially awkward guy I know". Tbh im not too fussed about girls but a girl once said I am "cute in an awkward way". I definitely know people dont see me as confident which is weird because I always used to think of myself as confident.


So how can I change?

I have been trying lol but I want to try harder. I have a charismatic smile which works for me, I am good at flattery (but not to the extent of sucking up).

I have even brought a self help book on how to build self confidence.